Ask Me Anything – Sunday, December 13th @ 8 PM ET

Guys are usually very into me in the beginning of the courtship/relationship but as things starts getting serious and starts progressing they would step back and look at me as someone to just have sex with.

Can you give me some insight as to what causes that?

How do I get a guy who was once interested in me interested again? We ended it on good term because of conflicting schedules and him unable to follow through with plans even though he kept saying he wanted to.

PS – Thank you and Sabrina for giving to the universe in this way – you have matured me in many ways relationship wise. Sincere thank you!

My ex boyfriend sends me mixed signals and im not sure what to say to figure out where his mind is at with out making him pull away? He intiates the contact, but i can’t distinguish if hes really wanting to try to work things out to see where they go. Im confused and need expert advice! Dont want to mess up any chance i have with him

Hi there my question is this, I am with a man currently who is head over heels for me and ready to propose, however my mind seems to keep drifting to a previous relationship I had before him. The previous relationship the man, Lee, wasn’t available emotionally. He had been cheated on in the past and had trust and commitment issues. I eventually moved on despite still having feelings for him and then found my guy now who is great. Lee was upset when he found out I had a new guy, but he never would commit to me. My problem is I can’t seem to reach that same level of emotional connection with my new guy as I did before and I just want to make sure I should continue with my current relationship.

Letter to Sabrina

Six months ago, the owner of my yoga studio – a man ten years older than me – we’ll call him Jonah – asked me out via email by going into the studio database to get my email. I thought – huh, weird move. I am attracted to him but never ever crossed paths with him until eight months into going to the studio, then this. definitely a strange way to start this.

I didn’t know his intentions exactly. But I moved last year and am still building up my base where I now live and want more friends and have been open to starting a relationship too so either one I was at least somewhat interested in and wanted to explore. I said I’d go to tea, on a Sunday evening. We just talked and tea turned into dinner too. Nothing more happened. I liked talking to him a lot but was not into him. He asked me out the next day for that night, to go to a waterfall after yoga. Sure, why the hell not. Again, seemed rather forward and impulsive but figured eh, ok.

We were hungry after, I’d mentioned my favorite seafood place and he drove us there without me realizing. Took me out to fancy fish and oysters. Wow. Now I’m starting to like him -ish.

So let’s cut right to the chase. Then I stupidly slept with him that night. Second date. And I didn’t even really like him. It just felt fun and nice and I didn’t care, I hadn’t slept with anyone in 5 months so why not. (I HAD NOT DISCOVERED A NEW MODE YET. Otherwise I’d of known WHY NOT.

Next day when I’d left, I was like oh my god I shouldn’t of done that – I don’t even have real feelings, or know him, I was just exploring, why the hell did I do that? I just want to be friends.

He had different sentiments. He went to California for a few days and while away he messaged me everyday. And called.

When he returned, I reached out to him to make plans, which he immediately rearranged his schedule to accommodate. My plan was to see him and try to take back the sex and just explore hanging out as friends. Ha. Oh the naiveté.

When I saw him, he looked even better then he had before, and he was wildly affectionate, sweet. Open. And then – wait for it Sabrina – in talking he tells me his ex fiancé of ten years left him, a mere three months ago.

And I’m the first woman he has been with since.

My thinking in hindsight is: Ah. NOW I see. This at least in part explains the enthusiasm and insistence with which this man pursued and responded to me. And why he reached out.

He had assured me it had not been a big dramatic break up and played the entire thing down very much so. Acted as though he was not the least bit broken up about it. This coupled with my original feelings, I told him I just want to take it slow. Not be sexual.

Well that didn’t happen.

We dated for three months.

And though he treated me well, texted every day, always thanked me for my time after we hung out, constantly complimented me and told me how beautiful and intelligent I am, how lucky he was to have met me, told he how deeply and strongly he felt for me very consistently, told me how deep of a connection he felt for me and confided so much in me, he was also so guarded and the entire time I felt this uneasiness.

Over time pieces came together, and it became clear he was not only V E R Y broken up about the 9 year relationship, and that she and left him in a very dramatic way that really devastated him; moved out entirely while he was out one day. Just gone when he got home – but was also still in communication with his ex fiancé and even BIRD SAT for her. He assured me it was all just logistical oriented interactions about collecting mail and sorting bills etc. but I knew in my heart that he was absolutely in no state to be starting something new and was not really available to meet me in what I was bringing to the table in terms of openness, emotional exclusivity in my heart, and commitment level.

And he had TERRIBLE reactivity over things so small and benign and would get SO deeply hurt and then close off and distance for days at a time with only texts when that happened. It was really charged.

And so I broke it off. In a way that was a bit reactive and I had not felt good about it, but knew it was right to have ended things at this time.

We met a few months after that to try to explain things to one another…& he is all over the map.

My questions for you are: 1) you guys say if a guy says he is not ready to be with you, he does not like you enough. Do you think this is an exception to that rule? That he has had real feelings but earnestly is not able to bring what a person needs to bring in order to have a real relationship? And 2) do you think this man can be in a relationship with me in time, or no. If so, what do you think needs to transpire for that possibility to work out? I am not going to wait around – if someone wonderful comes along while this an is healing, I will not hesitate to explore that. But I do care a lot about this person, genuinely so and al curious to hear your opinion because I value your input a lot. Thank you!

I am waiting on money from a car accident I was involved in. Will it be coming my way any time soon.

I am waiting on money from a car accident I was involved in. Will it be coming my way any time soon.

Hi. I been going out with a guy for two weeks now and been on two dates with him and will be having a third date this week. Is something up when I have to make the call and plan the date? Also, when I text him, he doesn’t get back to me till a day later but I see him online on a dating website at the same time. I feel like he’s not that into me but he said he would tell me up front if he wasn’t. He always tells me he enjoys our dates together. I’m confused.

My ex broke my heart six months ago. Claimed he still loved me and was attracted to me, but he lost the butterflies. He told me he wanted to be friends because I’m an amazing person. Bumped into him a few times and it went fine. We even made plans to grab lunch for his birthday.

Fast forward to November. I bump into him at a bar and he is hardcore kissing another girl in front of me. Having a few drinks in me, I text him telling him how awful he is, that I would never act that way if the roles were reversed. I blocked him and we didn’t speak for a month. Ran into him again and he was lingering in my vicinity, trying to make small talk. Then a week later I bump into him again and he’s with the same girl and she is all over him, staring at me. This time I decided to maintain my conposure.

I don’t understand how someone who claims they once loved you could do this. Do you think he’s a narcissist? Why would someone intentionally go out of their way to hurt an ex who did them no wrong?

Broke up with my ex because we could never see each other. 2 weeks after he dumped me he claimed to have found someone new. He now sleeps with girls every week and rubs it in my face. How do I get him back?

How to tell a guy your crushing on them ?

What does it mean when you work with your crush and they always seems to want you to help them with a task and they always seem to look at you ?

If you have been hooking up casually with someone:
a) how do you bring up the conversation of what are we, if you want to make it more serious/exclusive
b) how do you turn this hook up into something serious? AKA how do you make the guy fall in love with you?