Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Asks me to be exclusive and officially his GF but he was unfaithful
- This topic has 6 replies and was last updated 4 years, 3 months ago by
Cheryl.
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Delora
I met this guy through hinge ~3months ago. We were getting to know each other and I was in no rush to be exclusive or in a relationship. About 2 months after meeting we slept together and a week after he asked me to be exclusive. I agreed. Then we went on a trip together 1 week after being exclusive and he asked me to be his GF. I hesitated but agreed to it several days later after we talked things through. I emphasized that trust and communication are important to me in a relationship and cheating will forever be a non-negotiable.
Since making our relationship official (about 2 wks ago) I started noticing strange gaps in his texting habits that made me feel uneasy. I am not proud but I checked his phone and saw pictures of him sleeping with another girl. I was done and broke it off that same day (3 days ago).
I liked this guy and felt like he was so genuine when we were together. But I am so confused … why ask for exclusivity and officialize the relationship if that’s not what he wanted. We had already slept together and I had never set a timeline or expectation to be exclusive. Why initiate it if you can’t handle it?
The situation-ship is over but I am left more confused than sad (if sad at all). This could all have been avoided if he never initiated exclusivity and make us officially GF/BF.
I would love some insight on this. I would just like to understand the thought process.
Newbie
I cant understand it either. It makes zero sense to me. It maybe a wishfull thinking on his part. Like having the gf experience. But anyway there are lots of weird people and so is he. At least for now. You should just be proud of yourself you kept your promise to yourself.
Delora
Newbie… thank you for responding
I cant understand either. I hate that now Im stuck with this history of having been cheated on when it could have all been avoided.
Im glad I followed my gut and checked but man I really hope I dont carry this with me to future relationships.
Newbie
I wouldnt give it too much emphasis in your head. Then it becomes a bigger thing than it is. This was very short relationship and from what you wrote you didnt seem that keen anyway. It can easily happen again but it says more about their character than yours. You can walk away from this without real injuries, loss of money or whatever. A bruised ego Yes and a you dodget the bullet feeling Yes. In the first 2 months of dating a man its very hard to tell if he is there to stay. Its best to stay uninvested until youre sure.
Raven
Life selfie pictures?
Ewa
I agree with Newbie, it was a short relationship and as much as it hurts (I am assuming) you did the right thing. Why men do that, no one knows.
Unfortunately these days most men are not very loyal, too many dating apps, social media etc you never know who is texting them etc but I am sure in the future you’ll find the right match for you.Cheryl
I experienced the same exact thing – only mine was years not months.
He asked to be exclusive, said he wanted a long term commitment- but was seeing someone on the side the entire time.
All the perks of a real committed relationship while maintaining the freedom and independence of having a single mindset. Selfish. Insensitive. Egocentric. I call it “wanting your cake and eating it too. -
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