Home › Forums › Did He Lose Interest? › Awesome 1st date, cancelled 2nd date with no reschedule
- This topic has 7 replies and was last updated 7 years, 8 months ago by
Kasijana.
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Kasijana
Hey there!
So I met this guy just recently and went on only one date so far. He seemed pretty interested in me. It was Tuesday night when we met for the first time, and while he did mention few times ‘the next time we’re going to meet’, he did not actually suggest a second date. We did not talk until few days later (Friday). Friday morning he texted me asking what plans I have for the weekend. At that point, I already have made plans, so I said that I am available Sunday only. He said he is too available on Sunday, suggested we meet on Sunday, to which I said yes. We were supposed to meet at 15 h. We were planning to take a walk in the sun, grab a lunch or so. He texted me 3 hours before the date saying ”hey… bad news. Work came up (he explained in more details some problems that popped out), I will have to work the whole day.” And put a sad smiley face. To that, I just replied saying: I see, ok! And to that, he replied nothing.I did not like that he failed to at least apologize, or even better, re-schedule. I understood his text as a lack of interest on his side, so I decided not to bother too much in replying more than I did. Moreover, he said that he discovered this ‘work related problems’ Saturday night, which sounded a bit weird, as on Friday he said he will go for cocktails on Saturday afternoon and will then proceed with whatever the day brings to the table. I like him. He did show interest initially by inviting me out, adding me asap on Facebook and Instagram, and actually acting interested during our first date. But this whole thing is a bit weird too. Looking back, I even struggled before the first date. We scheduled our first date almost a week in advance. During that week, he did not contact me at all. I was the one texting him on the day of the actual date to confirm time and place.
So I do not know what to think. I am sure in that I will not be the one suggesting another date. The only thing I am considering at this point is to maybe text him and ask if he solved his problems at work. Other than that…. I am interested in your opinion! Am I being too strict in my judgment? Would you say this is a kind of behavior that a guy genuinely interested in a girl would pull out?
Thanks!
peggy
Hi-He did not reschedule when he cancelled and you have nudged him a bit. He is showing low interest. I would not text him .
Lane
Hi.
I can tell your young and inexperienced so I’m going to give you some advice that my dad did which thankfully saved me from a lot of torture.
A guy knows pretty quickly if your someone he wants to date or not, if he wants to see and be with you A lOT, he does, if not he doesn’t…it really is that simple! Think of it like car shopping where the spots one he thinks he’ll really like. He takes it for a test drive and he seem’s like a really keen buyer to the salesman. He goes home and after mulling it over (thinking) about what he liked or didn’t like he decides its not for him. Of course the salesman thinks he’s really interested based solely on what he witnessed on the car lot, so when he calls and doesn’t receive and answer, he tries again, and then again hoping he can convince him that he should buy it.
Do not do this when dating:
A. Pretend you know how someone FEELS;
B. Do not be a pushy Salesman; and
C. Expect another date just because YOU THINK it went well. (A man is under no obligation to take you on one, two or more dates).What to do when dating:
A. Thank him at the end of the night;
B. Respond very briefly to texts but DO NOT give away too much info. or they will have no need to take you out and spend time and $$$ to EARN IT; and
C. If he does not plan another date within a reasonable time (a week) tell yourself “NEXT”!A man who really really likes you will make you feel like A QUEEN—those who don’t are toads and let them go!
Maria
Who knows what the reason is– I did to men a couple of times when I was struggling to get over my ex– thought I was ready to date, but then wasn’t. Try believing that (it is just as likely as any other explanation). Probably it has nothing to do with you.
Crisula
Hi Kasijana,
Basically he lost interest and ghosted you
He’s rude and ignoranthe has major character flaws..
imagine finding this out down the road?
Think of it as a giftKasijana
A big THANK YOU to all of you for your input, I very much appreciate it!
This guy has yet not contacted me and I decided to not contact him as well. As Peggy and all of you said, he showed little or no interest, while I was trying to convince myself otherwise.
Good point about the salesman, Lane! Honestly, the only time I expect a second date is when I am being asked to go on a second date, which in this case did happen. I just got disappointed in this guy when he cancelled without even saying ‘I’m sorry’. Crisula is right on point, it was kind of rude. It showed no respect for my time whatsoever. But anyway. I cannot expect people to live by my expectations, the only thing I can do is choose wisely.
Or maybe I need a break from dating like Maria did… who knows! I have to figure all that out.
Kim
He just showed you right up front he’s not for you. No big deal. Nothing else to figure out. When you have these experiences and don’t feel the need to analyze or discuss them, you know you’re in the right place for dating.
Kasijana
Update!
I feel a little bit silly to even consider what I am going to say as an update, but anyway. I just posted a picture on Instagram with my dad and this guy liked it. A like on social networks mean nothing, but in this case, the like comes from this guy that cancelled on me, did not text me again and most importantly, barely knows me to like such a family picture!! I don’t get this guy. I do not understand why he even reminds me that he exists.
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