Baby involve, is the relationship worth saving?

from all that you have posted it does seem that presently things are not working between you guys. breaking up is easy but making things work difficult. and there is a baby involved as well. maybe this whole situation is as difficult for him as it is for you? can you like take some time off and go and stay with your parents say for 2/3 weeks for a break? like some time off to figure things and give each other space? you will also have some help with your baby?? right now maybe this new situation is just overwhelming for the both of you and hence the issues? you must also be exhausted and possibly suffering from post preg depression? both exhausted and having difficulty to adjust with the new addition? its not always easy and breezy for new parents. i agree that you should not think of breaking up unless your very sure. take a mini vacation and just relax. be with your parents. you will also have some proper rest and help from your parents. try this out.

You guys might benefit from seeing a counselor. I see him not adapting to a major life change, and you might be dealing with post partum issues. We cannot help you. I suggest encouraging him to go to counseling with you, I encourage you to go to your doctor about your issues (post partum is not uncommon and you can get immediate help with some of what you are dealing with), and I encourage you to go to counseling on your own.

You are phrasing things like you are at his mercy/moods/etc. You are not. Get counseling and go see your OB to help you with post partum stuff.

All the best to you, mama!!!

I think mama’s advice of going to counseling is best. If you’ve had issues throughout most of your relationship, and now he’s pushing you that far away when you’ve had a **major life change that involves a lot of stepping up in commitment,** you very likely have different and clashing attachment styles. If he’s not on board with working together to fix things with you, there may not be much you can do except figure out a co-parenting plan that’s best for the baby. But before it comes to that, talk to an expert first — even if he is not interested in going with you. I’d suggest a counselor who is familiar with attachment theory who can give you a better take on things. I’m kind of assuming he’s got issues with serious commitment since you’ve had a child together but he’s still your boyfriend. No judgement at all, and there may be very good mutual reasons for it… or he may be highly avoidant and afraid of commitment, which I suspect based on how cold and defensive he’s been with you. I also suspect this is the case because facing emotions clearly makes him shut down, and I have a feeling that’s also what’s happening when he feels overwhelmed by the baby crying. Which he may actually be ashamed of, that he freezes and doesn’t step up to help with the baby, and why it upset him so much to hear about from his family. If this is the case, it is still HIS issue, not yours. (And I’m giving him the benefit of the doubt that he’s overwhelmed and doesn’t have good maturity to deal with it, and not he’s just a jerk without empathy!)

“All this time I’ve been wondering if I’m not good enough when I should’ve been asking myself if he’s good enough for me and my baby.” This is also good. Keep this in mind, it has no reflection on your value or worth, though it may reflect compatibility issues.

He would never agree to counselling because to him that’s for people who has a problem which he doesn’t consider himself having.

Things are still unclear if we can still be together or need to break it off but I managed to tell him some things that’s been on my heart and I’ve seen him slowly getting more involved with our son without it being prompted. We also hugged eachother this evening. I still don’t know what to make of things I’m afraid we will be okay only for things to repeat itself.