Bad first date

Redeem yourself how? He is the one who should redeem himself. Look this guy wants sex. And thought he could get it after being nice for a few hours. You really want a second date with a guy that got handsy right away? And how will you act on the second date where he will ask for sex again?

Oh girl. This man wanted sex. Which is his right. He’s grown and can try to obtain that. He tried. He failed. Thus it became awkward. No man that wanted a chance with you for something real would have attempted to push it that far on the date, and then make you feel uncomfortable when you didn’t want to. If you are looking for more than sex – forget this dude.

Thats a classic case of barking up against the wrong tree. If you are looking for a serious relationship you need to vet guys. Many red flags. A guy leading with sex is one of them. You can give it a try if he does ask you out and tell him you dont want a hook up but really listen to what he says. There is also a chance he wont ask you out because he found another girl that was willing to go all the way on the first date.

There’s some very good advice and you’re all making good points. I know that texting a lot during lockdwon probably made me get high expectations about our date and a false sense of intimacy. But does the fact that he tried mean he just wants sex and nothing else?

Tallspicy – I don’t know, I keep feeling guilty about making out with him at the park. I should’ve stopped him when he started getting all handsy and too physical and intimate too soon. And it was just when he suggested that we should go back to my place, I asked to go for a walk instead but I think he got the idea. What bothers me is that he tried to get intimate too fast but then he couldn’t kiss me at the end of the date? That makes me feel bad. I want a second chance to clear everything up.

And all (young) guys want sex. But most know its not very classy to go groping on a first date in a park.

Like the other ladies have said, there is nothing here you need to redeem yourself over!  If you’ve been texting this guy for weeks I don’t understand why he doesn’t know you’re not looking for a hookup and want to get to know him better. Did you honestly not discuss any of that? EVERY guy who I met online I made it clear I was not looking for a one night stand, he wouldn’t be getting sex from me on the first date, second date, third date, you get the idea. I don’t mind kissing and making out on the first date to see if there is chemistry. But if he starts getting handsy and touchy feely I just move his hands away while we’re kissing and they usually get the hint. But if a guy keeps pushing, keeps checking my boundaries and even after I’ve made them clear asks me to go back to his place or pushes himself on me then he’s done. There isn’t going to be a second date. 

The only time I think a woman should feel guilty is if she does indeed allow things to go too far, going back to his place, removing clothing, heavy making out and touching intimate areas, then she stops and says it’s going too fast. Don’t get me wrong a woman always has the right to say NO! But teasing a guy and getting him all worked up and making him think you’re going to give in then stopping him I think is wrong. There’s anon-flattering term for those kind of women! Considering you were in a park making out I don’t think you let it get that far. I like to be clear from the get go it’s not going to happen and I can guarantee any guy it’s not happening on your first few dates with me. While that doesn’t weed out all guys who are just after sex, it does weed out the ones who are only after easy sex! You’re going to have to wine me and dine me and I have to get to know you first. If that’s too big of an investment for you then find someone else!!  

You haven’t done anything to need a “second chance”. You didn’t do anything wrong! He tried to take things further and you told him where your boundary is. That’s all fine.

Has he contacted you since? Have you contacted him?

Honestly, if he has completely cooled off on you then he was likely only wanting sex.

If he wants a real relationship with you then he will say something like “sorry I got a bit carried away on our first date. I promise I’ll be on my best behaviour next time!”