Bf night out with friends

I think u need to cut some slack in this instance. He was out with an old frnd and got drunk. Who wld want to work or help with work stuff in such circumstance? Let it go. Actually u continuously messaging and asking abt helping you with work knowing hes drunk sounds a litl annoying. Let this go.

it is not crazy to expect that but men will also say I am going out for one drink but not many of them actually go for one drink haha
From what you are saying your bf doesn’t go out much so when he finally did he went out out. It is healthy to let him enjoy his time without you and be cool about it as much as possible.
It is hard to say but maybe when he said it he is going out for one drink he actually meant it, but then things happened and he was enjoying his time and stayed longer.
And we can all argue that he could’ve messaged you saying sorry I won’t be coming tonight instead of you chasing him for answer but men are simple creatures and he probably didn’t even think of it as he was enjoying time with his old friend.
I hope you trust your and don’t think he was out with someone else.

Slightly irritated and disappointed is reasonable.

Starting a fight with someone who is drunk is just not very effective and creates a lot of drama where it is not needed.

That was 100% not the time to address it. When he texted you, I’m drunk the response is:
Oh, ok, having a great night. Let’s connect tmrw.

Not… snarky, then a call, then an argument with someone drunk.

Let this go. At the end of the day, the assignmnt is ur responsibility, not his. He may hv had full intentions of helping out when he offered to help but it just dint work out that way. Its ok. At times we do promise with honest intentions but cant deliver. It happens. Dont make this a big deal.

Did you not hear from him either ?

You are overreacting. I wholeheartedly agree with the other ladies here. What do you think would have been accomplished work-wise if he came over drunk? Nothing good. As was pointed out… it was your work not his. It sounds like he got caught up in the moment with an old friend. These things happen. If he is a good bf otherwise there’s no point dragging this out and causing a wedge between the two of you.

Also, why is his boss calling you? That seems weird to me. And as Raven said… he’s probably hung over and sleeping it off.

How many times has he done this previously?

A guy in his late 20s missing work without calling in because he’s hungover, or still drunk, on a Thursday morning is a huge huge huge warning sign. Were you snarky about his being drunk because he was breaking plans you were counting on, or is it because he has a tendency to not be able to stick with one drink and you’re worried about his alcohol consumption?

I agree you should have dropped the entire conversation and told him to get home safe once he said he was drunk. No work was getting done at that point. Doesn’t mean you didn’t have a right to be angry that he left you in a lurch, but there was no point in discussing it then. There are still a lot of questions here about what’s normal behavior for him and if this is the first time he’s done something like this, if he’s going through a tough time, if you suspect a drinking problem, etc etc. Bailing on you that night was irresponsible (though maybe predictable if you had work planned after drinks), and may or may not have been a big deal on its own depending. But the fact he didn’t call into work the next day is a really big deal, especially combined with his behavior towards you the night before, so from there I don’t think you’re overreacting.

Eva, in America there’s no issue with going out for drinks after work with colleagues or friends on a “school night” as we call it, for an hour or two. But you don’t drink for hours and wind up blasted by 10 pm and fail to show up where you should be, on the night or the next day.

AngieBaby, over here an after work drink starts around 6pm and we do end up tipsy/drunk by 10pm. Everyone is expected to know their boundaries so they can get up the next day, some stay until midnight, others go home at 10. There is nowhere else you should be afterwards.
Maybe it’s cultural, for me it’s very weird why they both expected he’ll be useful after going for drinks with an old friend. It was a promise he couldn’t keep right from the start.

Not showing up to work is obviously a huge problem everywhere. His boss made it Sam’s problem.
Again, maybe cultural, bosses shouldn’t be calling non-livein partners of their employees about their whereabouts. HR department (not the direct boss) can make an inquiry to an emergency contact if an employee fails to make contact a few days

Oversleeping to the point of being unresponsive to the calls is objectively irresponsible and unprofessional. If it happens again then the guy has a problem.

Eva, then that’s where Europeans differ from Americans. On a weeknight, people can go out with friends, have one or two and go home, and that’s the norm, to start at 5 pm happy hour and leave no later than 7, 7:30 when happy hour is over. It’s not the norm as far as I know, unless it’s someplace like NYC and it’s a younger crowd, to stay out that late drinking on a weeknight. So in America, it wouldn’t be unrealistic to say, hey, I’m grabbing a drink after work – meaning ONE, no more than two – and coming over later to help you out. At least in my part of the US.