Bf operated ,do not need me

I’m going to seem mean (and I’m honestly trying not to be), but you need to grow up and realize that the world doesn’t revolve around you.

“He has a low pain tolerance?” Sweetie, have you ever had surgery? A clue: IT HURTS! You don’t just get cut open – whether you have a small incision in your belly button or you get cut in half – and bounce up the next day and say, “Hey, baby, let’s go to a party!” Recovering from surgery is a long process – and can be take even longer if you were under anesthesia for several hours.

Your boyfriend had an operation – then had to have another operation because something went wrong with the first one. He’s still in the hospital. Having been through that scenario with my husband in 2018, I’d be willing to bet that he’s lucky to be alive.

I don’t know where you live, but in the United States, insurance companies don’t allow you to stay in the hospital overnight unless something’s really, really wrong. If your boyfriend is still in the hospital, it’s NOT because he has a low pain threshold. It’s because HE IS SICK!!! Does that even compute with you?

When you’re in the hospital, you don’t feel like talking to ANYONE – even if you’re not in a medical crisis situation.

The last time I had surgery, I told the hospital that I didn’t want ANY calls. My own MOTHER had to call the nurse to find out my general condition. I didn’t talk to my own CHILD.

Even when I was in the hospital with preeclampsia, I was so tired that I had to force myself to answer the phone, even though I knew it was my father, calling to see how I was (and he called twice a day). I certainly didn’t feel up to having visitors or chatting on the phone after I had a C-section the next month.

To recap: In all the times I was in the hospital, I didn’t feel like talking to my own blood family. There were times that I wished that my husband would go home, because I didn’t feel like having him in the room with me.

Your even asking if you should be “understanding of his situation and illness” or if this is a “deal-breaker” because “communication is so important” to you screams that either you are very young, very narcissistic or both.

Regardless, you are not ready to be in ANY kind of relationship.

It’s not all about you.

Until you make some changes in your own life, personality and outlook, you’re not going to be a good partner for anyone.

(And be appreciative of his sister’s updates and think of HIS illness instead of YOUR ego (for a change) ).

Why haven’t you called him to check in?