Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Bf punched me in the thigh
- This topic has 8 replies and was last updated 3 years, 11 months ago by
Lane.
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Marie
Me and bf of 5 years got into a huge argument.
I threw a cooking book at him (it missed) and he punched me really hard on the side of my thigh.
This is our first ever “physical “ type of fight . I acknowledge I shouldn’t have thrown the book . Is his retaliation understandable ? Or is it not? I told him to get out and leave our house , which he did .A, Nother
Get out of this now, this is exactly what happened to me, I let it go, it got worse, leave him.. You never hurt someone you love, no excuse, get out pls, x
Marie
Thanks for responding . So do u think it’s not normal for someone to respond like that after having a book pegged at them ? I’m trying to figure out if it was my fault or am I making excuses . I was the first to attack physically :(
AngieBaby
You started it, he finished it. You were both very wrong. If this is the only time this has ever happened, then discuss it together, apologize to each other and agree you will never get physical again no matter how angry you are. And then let it go. Hopefully that’s the end of it. It it does happen again, you have a problem to address with a therapist.
Raven
What caused you to throw the cookbook?!
Marie
We were arguing over something minor then it escalated , then I told him he can cook his own food and he response is “good cause I’m sick of your s**t cooking “
So I threw the book at him
Actually I’ve woken up this morning feeling not upset anymore but frustrated at him .
I told him to leave get the Fck out the house and out of my sight so he stayed elsewhere last night .Kary
I’m sorry but I’m going to be honest that this all sounds very unhealthy. You shouldn’t be with a person who 1.) causes you that much anger that you throw a book at him 2.) throws insults when he’s upset 3.) physically touches you no matter how small it may seem or how good of an excuse it may be.
If you chose to continue this relationship, I feel that it’s only going to continue to be toxic and he will continue to express his anger in negative ways including physically. If you do want to stay with him I would recommend some type of counseling or therapy to work through both of your anger issues and what’s the real cause of these issue.
You don’t have to listen to me but also, you should want more for yourself and from your relationship. And I’m sure if you think about it, there is never an excuse to physically put your hands on another person point blank period.
Elvira
Hi Marie
I agree with the others that you went way too far. I myself have gotten physical with an ex, however he never touched me back. He did not hit me anywhere! When I brought this up to a friend she said you are very lucky he didn’t hit you back because some men will use that as an excuse or out of instinct retaliate. When I spoke to a therapist she said it was wrong and I should not have done that. At that point respect is lost and even tho you get angry it is no excuse. When that happens you remove yourself from that situation until you have a clear mind. I apologized to him even after we broke up that I was out of hand and should not have done that. He didn’t see it as bad and he understood I was angry and this coming from a man who wouldn’t hesitate to strike another man who came into his face. So I was lucky he didn’t hit me back. I have been hit by a man before and I said I would never allow that ever again, so I shouldn’t lower myself either by doing it to someone else! My advice to you is that if this was the FIRST incident and he truly is a good man, then talk about it and suggest couples therapy for anger. You have been together 5 years so something must be right in the relationship. I know sometimes I can get angry just from the smallest comment because other things may be bothering me, unfortunately we sometimes take our frustration out on those closest to us. So the problem lies with me not him which in this case I think either there are other issues between you two and this was just a “lashing out”.Lane
I think you are BOTH toxic. This isn’t about who’s right or who’s wrong because you were BOTH WRONG and you BOTH fight dirty.
The two of you need to take a cooling off period not only to temper your tempers but for some serious soul searching in how you’ve come to the toxic point you did here as you are clearly not good for each other…oil and water comes to mind. I so hope you don’t have children because you are both horrible role models and no child should be forced to live in the toxic environment you have both created.
BTW, my parents fought like you two where the smallest things would evolve into a massive argument. I’ve seen my father cover my mom’s mouth a couple times to “shut her up” and flung mashed potatoes at her once at the dinner table but to be honest, she deserved it because she didn’t have an OFF button and would keep going and going and going. He would even try to leave in order to defuse the situation and she would friggen follow him ranting on and on!!! They separated a couple times when we were younger and wished they never got back together again. Even when they finally did separate fully after we became adults they still argued over the stupidest stuff!
Do NOT be them!
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