Biggest Mind F*** Ever Known to Woman. He Sat Me Down and Said This

thank you all so much. Jenny, I know you are the usual voice of reason and very driven by logic, and I am so down with that, but I stated my stats above and in my 26 years I have learned what is healthy and natural for me. I have been everywhere in between 75 and 120 pounds. 12 years ago my relationship with food was unhealthy, and ironically, later in high school I had an obsession with this girl named Mari who was super curvy, even a bit on the chubby side. I wanted to be her. It looked cute, feminine, sexy, etc. I’ve been all over the map with this stuff and my weight always followed suit. Finally, in the past 6 years, I settled on a healthy, natural, pretty weight that did not touch any extremes. So this guy really hit me where it hurts. Because Mari made me realize that I WILL NEVER BE HER. I can get fat, and I do whatever I want, I can manipulate it with food, clothing, exercise, self-tanner, etc etc etc etc! But it is a losing battle. Because all it did was distract me from the goal of loving what I was naturally given: a tight, small, body that many women (espcially many post-pregnancy women) would kill for. I’m trying really hard to hold onto that. For a man to crave otherwise feels like a dull knife.

I see. Well again, I was just asking. I analyze endlessly and my primary focus in communication and interacting is intent. If someone’s intent is ill-willed or malicious, I disregard it almost immediately and am 99.9% unaffected by it. If it’s coming from a genuine place of concern or care then I’ll at the very least consider if there’s any truth or self-denial on my end to what’s being said. It sounds like you’ve thought it through and have concluded that you don’t agree so I think just add that to the list of ‘Why it’s NEVER gonna work with us- *insert boy’s name* Lol. TBH from my perspective his intent is malicious because there’s no way you could benefit from such statements and anyone who truly loves you is going to make every effort NOT to hurt you so carelessly *but still will at times… just sayin’. But their INTENTIONS will be not to do so, it just happens. I’m sorry you struggled with body issues it’s unfortunate but happy to hear you’ve worked through and overcome said issues. Bottom line: If you’re healthy, he can take it or leave it. Your body is yours just as every other woman’s is her own and your ideal mate will think you’re pure perfection “flaws” and all and you should too. My sweet as pie but completely vain ex once said to me “There’s such thing as skinny fat”… My response “Wait, so is that a yes or a no to pizza for dinner? *insert oblivious smile*” Bahahaha. Basically, I really don’t care what your opinions are in reference to my body… I like it and I love pizza sooooo if you don’t like it, there’s the door. ;) Lol

You know if this were not so serious I would be laughing. But come on now…he went blind when he met you and now he can see? Pleeeease.

Your body and looks have nothing to do with this…nothing at all. That is a smoke screen.

And is it any mistake he is picking on things you cannot change? The answer to that is no.

It is like saying, “Ahhhhh…you see my dear I always wanted a green eyed girl…yes, you could wear contacts but then again what will we do about your height? I wanted someone 6 ft tall…and what about your belly button being too small?….”

He is scared and pulling out. Probably you have a real nut job on your hands…I bet a sociopath…they are excellent actors and can even cry on cue. Know this, he will continue this behavior probably for the rest of his life…and it has nothing to do with you…nothing at all.

My dear, you dodged a huge bullet here…had this gone further you might have married this guy..let’s think about having someone like this long term. Scary isn’t it?

And these people are good at what they do to the unsuspecting…and as the years go by they get better at it…imagine if you had met him 5 years from now…my blood runs cold.

Please take a step back and see this is his problem…his brain…his disconnect from reality…I know it is hard since you were emotionally involved but if you can just step back you will see what we see…he has deep problems.

Everyone has insecurities and this guy sees those with a depth and skill few can match…that is his “gift” (weapon) that he uses to damage relationships beyond repair. Sick I know but true.

I am so sorry this happened to you and the several young women who had the misfortune to cross his path in the past…and the women who will meet him in the future. There should be a flashing warning sign on him. “Warning, Warning, Danger, Danger”

So, wrapping this up. Your looks are just fine. Your charming self is just fine. You met a deeply troubled man unfortunately…and that is all. I am really sorry…dreadfully.

Please, please do not let this crazy guy affect your future relationships…the good news is that men like him are rare (thank God).

Wow, I was speechless for a moment. Too painful to read this.

This guy you’re talking about is too young and immature. And right from the start he does seem to prefer curvy girls (you mentioned you met him after your pregnancy or in maternity mode).So yes, he was attracted to you and came on too strong. But then when you got back to your normal weight he seemed to go back to his “usual” preference. I’d be reeling myself if the man I love told me the same thing—because blond, slim and blue-eyed is the standard of beauty from this side of the world—and I’m the complete opposite!

You shouldn’t let this get to you, I mean it shouldn’t affect your self-esteem or confidence—- like what I said he’s too young. So you’re not his type. So what? It saved you from a lot of hurt—-if you stuck together for longer and you found out too late, then he would have cheated with a lot of other dark and curvy girls and it would be more painful for you.

Trust that you’re not to blame for any of this. And from this point, if he asks you to come back for some reason, don’t give him a chance. He is far too shallow and superficial to deserve it.

Vickie, thank you for the sweet compliment, and thank you for all the love and general (complete) consensus that this guy is pretty much a (really honest–yay!) jerk. I have so much to update on this (will do in the morning) as well as the funniest/saddest story that all makes sense in retrospect now….it really is like a movie, sadly

Ironically, with that being said, I feel like the only thing stopping me from bettering myself is the new knowledge that he never really thought me to be the queen he said he did. Or he at least, at the end of the day, doesn’t want me. Maybe I was deriving more motivation from his love and acceptance then I thought. After all, he looks freaking incredible on paper and is physically he is drop-dead gorgeous. But we already know he took a shovel to the hard, frozen ground where I buried my insecurities! Guess I didn’t bury them deep enough. It seemed to be working pretty well before.

I’m totally with red curley sue. I met sort of a similar guy, who wants to love, who wants to share, but just cant. For all sorts of reaons and excuses. My bet at first the ldr felt save with him and would prevent him to commit, but he got in way over his head. He went into panick flight mode and found some random reason. You can tell by the comments his family members made about you. They saw him grow with you, a sign that they considered him immature and were happy he finally stepped up. But he fell back.

I’m sure he will backpaddle this, but i advice you strongly to block him and delete him. Appreciate the time you spend with him and move on with your life. You will get it back together. And yeah i’m also surprised he could keep his act up for this long. Stay with the high road girl:-) cheers and love

And about the funny story from before, it’s not really a story and it doesn’t matter now because I am done with this prick, but he told me his dad was the most similar to him and he was that one close person with whom he wanted to talk this over. Ok. So what that means is he’s going to sit down with his dad and say, “Look, I’m really in love with this girl, but I just can’t shut off my left nut” (he also told me this and said that monogamy goes against his male biology. I told him that breast implants go against biology too). He is going to have this discussion with his dad about weighing one’s options in love, about settling down, about finding your future wife and dealing with sexual and emotional committment. Basically all about growing the f**k up and learning to value a woman with serious wife potential. So, since his dad is (was) pretty much the new decision-maker in all this, being the chosen one to give him such needed advice, shall we look a bit into HIS DAD’S love life?

Just a few days ago I was with his family for substatnial amounts of time and met his dad, his step-mom, and his sister.

His dad is on his second marriage.
His new wife is younger, hotter, and taller than him.
SHE RECENTLY WAS FORCED TO REMOVE HER BREAST IMPLANTS because they were giving her health problems (a crushingly devastating piece of news that my man delivered to me solemnly, which makes sense in retrospect)
His sister got fed up with being on vacation with this new woman and, in front of me, went on a rant about how her father has messed up taste in women and only chose his new wife because he is “infatuated” with her (the sister is actually a sweet, genuine, wise, articulate girl). She also expressed concern over the fact that they are trying (and failing) for a baby and how messed up it is that her dad (who she portrayed as “the guy who takes hits of weed on the beach”, which he was) is so uncertain and careless about such a huge decision.

In other words, his father is pushing 60 and, after 2 marriages and a handful of children conceived, still has no idea how to love like an adult.

my ex who is similar to yours, he too got it from his father.. his father was a cold jerk who had been married 3 times.. he said he divorced his mother because she actually was her own person & he was looking for a “slave” his exact word. his father is now old & alone (I wonder why) and my ex was all roses & butterflies at first to get me hooked then his true colors showed he tried to break me down so I’d be dependent on him, only wanted to marry me because he thought he could break my confidence & I’d be a “slave” to him lol these guys are SICK. as time goes on you will see so many red flags you missed & you will remember more & more & you’ll be SO happy you dodged this bullet!

Trust me when I say this laur…you don’t want to get implants for a man. I made that mistake and now we’re not even together anymore and im stuck with these balls on my chest that make it difficult to do things I used to love. They hurt when I run and im an avid runner! Recently II found out how much it hurts diving into the pool. It sucks. The worst part is that I dont feel like the real me anymore

Hi laur,
You sound like a clever woman who has kept her sense of humour, so i’m sure you will be fine. Don’t blame yourself for getting fooled by this love talker. You have to meet one once, to recognize the style and underlying reasons for such a guy to come on so strong that you just cant resist. I learned a lot from my former guy, and since i’m pretty normal myself when it comes to attachment and commitment, i just never knew these guys are outthere: completely confused and closed up. I will never fall for the same tricks again. And i do agree with you and Ashley; it runs in the family.

Honestly, I’m not sure who wrote that apology but it sounds heartfelt and thoroughly thought out.

Sorry, but I am just shaking my head on this one.. nothing but pretentious Bull crap. This guy is dangerously cunning!!!