Home › Forums › Decoding His Signals / How Does He Feel About Me? › Blocked after a first date
- This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 8 years, 12 months ago by
rachel.
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Anna
For the second time in one month I have just been blocked on a messaging app after having what I felt to be a successful first date (both lasting 5+ hours, LOTS in common, nonstop chatting and laughing). Both messaged straight after the date to say they had a good time and then the next morning I find myself blocked. Both men I messaged for about a month prior to meeting, conversations did get personal with both but I’m a private person and certainly don’t feel I came on too strong.
But I feel I can only assume that I have been the problem here, but I just don’t know what I could be doing wrong, first time was a little hurtful, but a second time has me now fearing future dates.
Both these have been my first dates after a 3 year long serious relationship, but I don’t feel I have lost my ability to date, I never had this happen before.
Laura
It’s personal feeling but don’t take it personal…hard to do I know…in some ways if they block you they can’t be dumped…Does that make sense? So maybe their measurement of a good date is with sex ending things…and if that didn’t happen and they read you for a good girl that has values and dignity then they do a preemptive strike to “end” it first…my thoughts…
Hannah
Wow that’s harsh! I would put it down to very bad luck. Keep going and the right person will turn up eventually.
Jules
The issue I see here is that you’re taking to these men for too long before actually meeting them in person.
When you chat online (whatever, texting or app), you start to establish a connection with this person you’ve never met. You become invested to some extend (some more than others).
In person chemistry is so crucial and in my opinion, it’s either there or its not. My guess is these guys just didn’t feel the in person chemistry, which honestly is okay. They can sleep on it and feel differently in the morning. I’ve had it happen to me, great date, no follow up.
I’m sure right now it feels personal but this is one of the downfalls of online dating, you don’t get that instant read on the other person. In the future I wouldn’t spend some much time chatting before meeting. I give them a week tops and if a date hasn’t been set up for week 2, I bail. You’ll find you won’t feel as hurt if things don’t work out.
rachel
i agree. when you text and chat for that long, you expect certain things from a person you haven’t even met yet. so, def keep texting to a minimum, and have something set up within the first week. if it goes beyond that and the guy STILL hasn’t asked you out, don’t continue to entertain them. men can always change their mind the day after. same with me – great first date, some texting and chatting afterwards, no follow up. and it’s okay. don’t take it personally, and that’s the way online dating works. don’t text so consistently because you build expectations, and you should just try and keep it to a minimum. that way, you can head into the date without any expectations. don’t text on a texting app or whatever. if the guy isn’t asking you out and wanting to know you other than a pen pal, forget it. cut him off. so approach the communication part a little differently from here on out.
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