Blowing hot and cold

Sorry i meant to add that he now seems to have gone cold and not contacting me so much, with the lockdown, we are unable to see each other but I cant help thing that if he did have real feelings for me, he would stay in touch just as he did before.

You learned a valuable lesson, which never be a mans therapist.

It sets you up as friend, not romantic partner. You clean him up for someone else. You supported him through it, fine, but again, that kills attraction.

If he is still in contact, he has not even begun to heal. Which means his feelings for you will feel like a conflict.

You need to pull back very very far. If he asks why (which might not happen as he is already pulling back), I suggest you are truthful

Bob, over the last months I thought we had developed feelings for each other, and I would love to pursue that. But right now, you seem to be conflicted because you are not very consistent with me and you are still in touch with your ex. The reality is for me, I deserve someone fully into it. If you are ever at that place, I would love to hear from you, but in the meantime, I suggest that you heal and move on. Wishing you every great thing and health!

See what happens. If he says I really want it, then say, it is not ok with me that you are still in touch and we discuss her often, it is distancing to us being together. What are you going to do stop? And then he either does not stop, does stop or gets a therapist. Then you see how committed he is to this.

But my guess is he will say, you are right, I also wish you the best.

What Tallspicy (and the rest) said. All day long.

Don’t contact him. Let men lead always. Cultivate your will of iron and armor of self love. For real.

I received a message from him this morning, nothing of note really, certainly nothing to reassure me he still has feelings for me, in fact he even said he found an unread message from me from over a week ago whilst he was looking for something! Group chats apparently pushed mine down, I honestly don’t know how he thinks that’s not hurtful to hear he wasn’t even actually thinking about me or wanting to reach out!
Anyway, he said his dog died, normally I of course if anyone said that to me I would say how sorry I was but can you all reassure me that I’m right to still ignore his message, not even reply with how sorry I am and that I hope he is ok?!
Just need some strength and reassurance I guess.
Thank you

I agree with Newbie, text a sympathy message but don’t leave the conversation door open with a question and don’t engage further if he follows up with “how are you?” or similar. He may be trying to manipulate you by sending a message you’re unlikely to ignore as a pre-cursor to starting a conversation.

Yes, I believe it would be really cold to not express sympathy for his dog dying. You can do a show fade from there on out. Busy yourself with other things. This guy is a bust.

If he broke up chances are he is talking with other girls to pass the time. Give him wide berth.