Blurred lines with married colleague

Beth – you are 100% right and I was sad to read your story. The best advice ever is to just know your worth and respect yourself – offering to just be there whenever a MM feels like it is literally not respecting anyone (yourself or the wife).

Ella – I would say that you need to go to therapy to get your “strong inner self” back. It feels so much to me like you are looking for external validation, but it has to come from within. Having been abused (as you said), I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re super nice, accommdating type – but that’s exactly who abusers target. What I do not want for you or anyone else reading this in your shoes is to just go right back to being abused again. This guy sounds like trouble and frankly just another a–hole. I’d highly recommend a decent therapist as she can help you work through your feelings and internal wounds/healing from the abuse. It may be tough but it will be so worth it.

Love yourself, put yourself first, be kind to yourself, think about what you’d say if your best friend or child came to you with the same situation you are in. Lots of other good advice on here already. Best of luck.

All this because a guy got a little flirty and more than likely didn’t mean anything by it other than what he said in a joking manner.

He said an inappropriate comment. So did your mind automatically go to fantasising him seducing you against your better judgement or will to flat out reject him?
He’s playing you.
He’s a scumbag cheater.
He thinks you’re dumb and going to eat up whatever bs he feeds you.

I think it’s crazy all the crap in women’s minds that they can come up with in a short amount of time that make them seem…crazy. I truly feel sorry for men.

I have this belief that some people need to get their hand burned by a hot stove to learn that they should not touch it again, so to speak. It’s the most effective self-growth and learning method, but you hope the damage it causes isn’t irreversible or devastating.

I think everyone has said all that could be said. It’s time to let you do what you want and believe in your own reality. Playing the odds with your heart is a courageous thing. I certainly can’t and don’t do it. Sincere best wishes with your coworker, Ella.

OP. You earlier said you didn’t think he was entirely happy in his marriage. This is what my MM told me. I didnt think he was looking to cheat at all in the beginning either. They are experts at seeming like all innocent victims. They are subtle and very patient in grooming you for an affair. I was totally conned.

Before you know it you feel very special in their company. Be watchful of compliments, them opening up about their problems. Then mentioning things going south at home. They pull at your heart strings big time.

Keep your distance from this one. I just dont want you to go through the hell I did.

Take care.