boyfriend abused my cat and left for the night?!I'm so confused! plus more

And the reason he left tonight was because the cat was making noise and he saw the cat doing something that he did not like and he attacked the cat and got very angry.. and I told him I was going to sleep on the couch and he was like that’s it I’m taking the cat (mind you its cold out) and I was like where and he was like don’t worry about it and I was like I’m calling someone and he took my phone from me and was like I’m leaving.. and then he said it’s me or the cat.. that’s when he lfet..sorry I was so vague aabout that part. That’s where I am now sitting home on my last hope of what to do anymore…

Do you have somewhere else you can stay?? He is abusive and I’m frightened for you

I can go to my dads. We have a lease together well I do under my name.. my dad said I could live with him. He hasn’t hit me or anything.. but he jokes about it. Thank you for writing me with advice so promptly

And sorry I keep sending this in pieces.. probably a bad thing on my part I sent him long texts saying I love him but why does he get so angry and why he takes it out on the cat and how he could leave knowing I was upset and not even care and he still has not responded (he gets up early for work) but how does someone that says they care about you do that knowingly that the person they say they love is upset . I also said stuff about moving out and living in diff places. He has never left for the night to sleep somewhere else.

This is SERIOUS. What he is doing is ANIMAL ABUSE AND IT IS IS A CRIME. Furthermore, you are part of it as you are allowing him to do it! You have to keep him away from the cat from now on or you are just as guilty as he is. Sorry to be that harsh, but you have to wake up. You’re allowing someone to mistreat an innocent, defenseless KITTEN for heaven’s sake. Would you let him abuse a child??? And he hasn’t hit you but he jokes about it??? Honey, what on earth are you tolerating all of this for?????????????

You send him texts that you love this asshole after what he’s done? You want to know why he’s doing it???? Because he’s got major problems. He needs professional help. This is not going to get better. You’re co-dependent, do you see that? You would also benefit from some counseling – please please please get away from him this minute. Call the police if you have to and tell him you will do that if he comes near you again.

Thank you guys for your advice. I Def think I need to get myself and the cat away. I understand where you are coming from Stefanie saying I’m just as guilty I don’t like that I feel like crap even tho he thinks it’s not abuse I yell at him all the time about it
I have been more upset with things it’s so sad. You think things are so great and then it all changed. I have been more sad and crying this past 2 months then not and I am always so positive with everything and it seems things have been so negative. Thank you for your responses ladies. I appreciate your honesty I understand where you are all coming from. It’s hard but I can see:/

And Sassperilla, you make a very important point about how murderers get started.

Honey be prepared for him to go all sweet and crap on you after you leave it is the first thing abusers do don’t fall for it. THIS MAN IS AN ABUSER, do not think for one second that he wouldn’t put his hands on you too.

Don’t go back to him no matter what he says or does.

I did talk to my mom and she said that I should focus on myself and she said I should not allow him to treat the cat like this and if he’s doing it to the cat she is afraid of what he can do to me. She says because he is young he doesn’t know any better. Just sad. I hear you guys and I appreciate all these great points of views. He has texted me and said it’s him or the cat. It’s so sad and I have just been fighting this whole time. Just so ridiculous. My dad doesn’t know what’s going on but he thinks I should get rid of the cat.. my dad won’t take it in.. just so frustrated. My mom live farther away.. my dad will only take it in with me (if I move in) it seems this is where it is going between my bf and i. You build up which seemed to be a great relationship then this. Thank you guys. You are all amazing and thank you for being there for the support. He says what he does isn’t abuse but I told him I know what abuse it.. I would never do the stuff to someone let alone a helpless cat

Ton, please take the advice you have been given very seriously. Abusive people start like this and the abuse escalates until someone gets very hurt if not worse.

I am worried about the kitten, but quite honestly, I am more worried about you. I’ve work with domestic violence survivors and they always saw the red flags. This is your red flag. Please get out before you look back on your life and wish you had this moment again.

You guys are amazing people. You guys are giving me more strength to see that my feelings aren’t off about our relationship. It is hard because I haven’t been in this type of relationship before where it has been good and then became so sour. Thank you for helping me open my eyes. I’m glad it’s not just me and can hopefully be strong not just for me but for the cat. Thank you guys for this. He knows I chose the cat. Even tho he’s not happy he said we are done talking but we haven’t talked about the relationship. We have been fighting over texts..thank you for all of your kindness everyone. You guys are truly amazing and really help on this website ALOT!

Ton,

You HAVE to get the cat and yourself to a safe place. I think you are worried about the relationship and I can tell you, relationships come and go as does love. Some times you love someone so much that every minute without them hurts but trust me on this, you will experience that feeling again and hopefully in a healthier environment.

The issue here is this person has shown a propensity for violence. This will escalate even if the cat is out of the picture. Get yourself out before he leaves a permanent mark of violence on you. And of course, get the innocent cat out of harm’s way.