Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Boyfriend Acting Weird. Is it all in my head?
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Jenna.
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Jenna
Hi everybody. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. We took it slow and became official probably 4-5 months in since we did the friends first thing. Relationship has been pretty great with only a couple hiccups from miscommunication but they resolved pretty quickly.
The past couple of weeks I’ve been feeling disconnected from him. BF was sick over the weekend and I offered up help, he didn’t ask for anything so I did my own thing. Usually we spend Friday, Sat & Sun nights together. Sun morning he stopped by unexpectedly at my house to say hi but seemed “off.” Sunday night I went to his and brought him dinner and he seemed more snarky with his banter than normal. He made a statement about being sick for the past few days so I’m not sure if he was upset I didn’t take care of him?? I was giving him his space but had let him know I was there if he needed me.
Monday comes and he does not do his good morning text, so I text him to see if he’s feeling better. He responds almost immediately. He still stops by to check in on my pets during the day while I was at work. That evening he drops by and we have a fun night out.
Yesterday I get my morning text but no nicknames. He calls after work, says he’s got some stuff to do and I’m all okay, hey cool! Take care of biz and I’ll TTYL. He calls again later, says he’s been sleeping and after a quick conversation, he’s going back to sleep.
Today no good morning text yet. I am not sure if I should text him or let him be. He is very consistent and only did not send me a GM text once when he was upset at me…after one of the disagreements we had. So I have no idea if he’s upset about something or just busy. He is normally fantastic about reaching out so it’s out of character for him. I don’t want to push him if he is dealing with something, but if he is looking for me to initiate, I don’t want to not. I am driving myself crazy and just need some help! Is it all in my head? If it’s not, should I ask him if anything is wrong?
Jenny
It’s all in your head. And even if it’s not, you’re going to drive yourself crazy by overanalyzing and making assumptions. Just give him his space and keep the “vibe” open and comfortable enough for him to be able to tell you if something is in fact bothering him. Don’t let insecurities create problems where there are none, tell yourself he loves you, he’s with you, his behavior is probably nothing personal, and if it is, you’ll cross that bridge when you get there but for the time being, adore him how you would on a “good” day and don’t get too caught up in your own mind. Rebalance
Shannon
I think the not texting as much is unrelated from the snarkiness over the weekend. I think he was just sick and cranky.
Once a relationship falls into a routine, the nice little extras like the good morning texts seem to drop off and end. It’s hard to keep that up. He’s exiting the “courting” stage which means he is more comfortable with you and feels secure in the relationship so he doesn’t need to do constant check ins. I wouldn’t worry.
Sudsy
I get what you are talking about. It happened to me. My guy was consistently texting GM Beautiful, using pet names and the like.
Noticed a slow withdrawal. The GM texts would still come but it went from everyday to every 2nd day for awhile, then sporadic. Sometimes he was snarky or the texts would be one or two words. Naturally I was concerned he may be backing away and losing interest. Did I do something wrong? I didn’t want to seem clingy or needy so I did not bring up my concerns for a long time.
Because it became a pattern over time, I knew something was wrong. So I brought it up and asked if I had done something to hurt him, that I noticed less contact from him. He assured me all was okay, he was just busy with a lot of overtime at work.
Two more weeks go by and he went an entire weekend with no contact at all. He didn’t respond to my texts or voice mails. I was out with some friends at a movie and one of my girlfriends said she saw him holding hands with another woman the day before.
If the guy is already on his way out, he won’t want to talk about anything and will say everything is fine. In your case, just watch for patterns of no contact or slow withdrawal.
If it keeps up, he is likely losing interest or dating someone else. Sure he could be having personal issues but a guy who is invested in you will mention it.All the best.
Hannah
Always assume the best. He’s been sick. He’s probably still a bit sick and maybe has work and chores to catch up on. If you start looking for trouble, you end up thinking you’ve found it and then create it when there was no trouble in the first place! So relax, step back and don’t worry! What will be will be won’t it? But you can seriously ruin things by over thinking and driving yourself crazy. If this goes on for a week or so, then you MAY have a problem.
Jenna
Thanks ladies. I need a dose of reality because I am one to get lost in my head sometimes and fear the worst. We did exchange the ILYs recently so I am feeling more vulnerable and maybe even a bit needy.
Even when he was sick, he still stopped by to say hi and I am guessing because we’d hadn’t seen each other in a couple days. I am going to try really hard to focus on other things and not let this consume me. It is so hard though! Darn this busy mind of mine!
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