Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Boyfriend does not plan dates anymore? Does he even care?
- This topic has 16 replies and was last updated 7 years, 2 months ago by
Raven.
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pop
My boyfriend of 7 months doesn’t seem to plan dates these days. We’ve been meeting up every week, usually once or twice a week. When we started going out he would initiate setting up a time to meet up in advance, which I and I think a lot of women would say prefer!
But more and more it seems like, hey what you up to tomorrow night? Or hey what’s your plan this weekend he would ask on Thursday or Friday. Or hey I’m doing this with some ppl if you want to join.
He’s also very active and likes to be outdoors for his hobbies so I feel like I’m accommodating to his stuff and plans most of the time, which I don’t mind in itself because I like doing new things.
Like last weekend he told me he’s thinking of doing this and that – and I asked him if I could join one of the activities and he’s like sure. And here I am wondering if I didn’t ask we wouldn’t have met up for the weekend at all?
I understand sometimes guys don’t get it but it makes me feel like he isn’t that into me.
I know I should communicate but not sure what the best way to go about it. I’m a grown up and I don’t want to be a nag.Raven
Are you always available?
Don’t take this us wrong way (no cattiness intended) – do you have your own stuff/life?
pop
Raven, Oh yes! I have a few great sets of friends and I am not always available when he would ask. I’m also busy with work too. This is also why I like to plan things in advance. I think a lot of women are like me too.
Jules
I think this is just normal. You guys are in a relationship now so planned dates aren’t as frequent. It’s more “we’ll get together and then figure out what to do”.
If you’re worried you’re always fitting into his life then get your own things and occasionally invite him to your things. I think what he’s doing is a good sign, he’s integrating you into his life.
pop
Jules, Thanks for your feedback. I guess it makes sense.
But sometimes though I find myself frustrated when he wouldn’t decide or wouldn’t be straight on what to do, like, sometimes I’m like, do you want me to come home with you or do you want to spend the night alone because you’re tired!?
pop
So I’m like come one speak up!
Pop
Ok so I haven’t heard from him in 2 full days. I feel like a low priority and wondering if he even wants to be in a relationship or maybe just not that interested in keeping me.
Twinkle
2 whole days!!!! Hun youl’ve been together for 7 months! Do you always have to be around him or hear from him every single day? When was the last time you saw him?
Pop
What do you mean?!
No I don’t need to hear from him every single day but it seems like he’d been in touch with me at least every other day, I can’t be sure though. I saw him 4 days ago over the weekend.
I just generally feel like he might have decided that he’s not all that interested in being in a relationship atm.Khadija
Pop,
Why can’t you call him?
I’m sure his feelings could not have shifted that quickly.
Maybe he’s been busy, it couldn’t hurt to reach out.
This isn’t some random guy he is your boyfriend.Pop
That’s true. Although I’m usually busier than him but height be very tired.
Carol
So it never occurred to you to call a man you consider your BF? That sounds off on so many levels.
Pop
I do sometimes reach out but just didn’t have anytging particular to text about. Also thought I give him space since he hasn’t checked in
Khadija
A simple hey babe I’m thinking of you text would be nice.
It doesn’t always have to be a long conversation.
In so many words it sounds like you plan on waiting this out until he reaches out to you.
Remember relationships are a two way street, sometimes a man wants to know his woman is thinking about him.Pop
Texting something like that didn’t occur to me to be honest. I guess I could use some practice in behaving more womanly. I just sent one just like that.
Guest
I don’t understand why everyone is blaming this woman. “Relationships are a two-way street”, well that’s the exact reason she is wondering why he doesn’t check in with her as much as she does. I’d say give him space for like a week and see what he does/if he reaches out to you etc. If he does, great. if he doesn’t, bring this up with him and try to see if you are actually happy being in such a relationship.
Raven
Gaaah!
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