Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Boyfriend doesn’t kiss me as often anymore
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Avo
I’ve been dating my boyfriend for around 10 months. He was really touchy at the start and we’d always hold hands and he’d give me a kiss when he’d see me. These days we would meet up for a date and he doesn’t kiss me first. If I lean in then he gives me a kiss. He doesn’t hold my hand as often. If I reach out for his hand then he does. I’m definitely the one that always reached out to him first.
He doesn’t send me sweet texts anymore. He said that he thought I wasn’t into it anymore but I almost send him a goodnight and love you with a heart almost everyday. Though he does say it back if I send something first.
Everything else is the same. He says he loves me and he has done a lot for me. Including coming to see me last minute because I wasn’t feeling well or something happened. He’s also introduced me to his parents and I know his friends. He’s met my friends and will be meeting my sister soon.
Am I overthinking? I’m fine with the texting and holding hands less but I just wish he would kiss me sometimes without me always having to ask for it..
Nathalie
Then tell him.
You should feel free to be open with someone you plan on being with. Be yourself with him. Don’t go whine about it, just tell him honestly and calmly. Like, “babe I sense that you’re less affectionate towards me unless I come to you first. I want you to know that I still appreciate these gestures. And I want us both to show it. I really miss that.”
Then give him time to come to you himself. Don’t apply any pressure like you’re sitting and waiting. Just be as normal.
Liz Lemon
It’s normal for texting to drop off once you’re in a committed relationship. There are articles about that on this site, you should look for them.
He might just be getting a little bit lazy with affection because he’s secure in the relationship with you now that you’ve been together almost a year. Especially if everything else is OK and you feel good about the relationship otherwise. I assume your sex life has not dropped off and you are only talking about public displays of affection like hand holding.
I agree with Nathalie that if you need him to be a bit more affectionate, you should ask him. Let him know what you need. But don’t frame it in a negative way like, “you never kiss me anymore”. Frame it in a positive flirty way, like “I love it when you kiss me” and say something about how sexy he is. Use positive reinforcement instead of telling him what he’s doing wrong. People in general (not just men) respond better that way. And definitely don’t put pressure, or pout, or act uptight about it. Just be relaxed and flirty about it.
Avo
I did tell him yesterday and he said that he understands and be doesn’t want to make me feel like that again which I was really glad about.
I guess he is getting comfortable but I got used to how he used to act before so much so that it seems like things have changed to me. I’m glad he’s comfortable with me but I miss him being romantic and flirty with me too. I’ll keep up the positive reinforcement and see how it goes.
@omg – I think that’s a bit rude. Yes I am “needy” when it comes to affection. My boyfriend is “needy” other ways but I respect him and try to do my best for him. Is it bad to expect the same?
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