Boyfriend ignored me– ended things?

Hannah,

Actually we met through work and hit it off. It seemed like fate– he was only about 2 hours from me back where my family lives. We saw each other frequently though! But when we talked on the phone he thought we would be just fine.. so I was very confused. I thought he ghosted me, I was trying to make sure he was okay, and just feel so used.

Yes you did the right thing. I’m starting to sound like a broken record I know but in my own experience, from all the posts I’ve read and responded to on here and from articles it’s clear that the 3-4 month mark is when most men decide if they see long term potential with you. When they don’t they break off, drop off, fade out or ghost.

You felt the communication drop off, he wouldn’t acknowledge you as his GF on social media, never replied when you wanted to go to him, and ignored you for 9 days. That’s not a guy who is committed to you. How long do you think he would have gone if the friend hadn’t said something to him?

You didn’t end this, he did. He didn’t want the confrontation or tough discussion so he left it up to you. Very cowardly in my opinion.

Paige, it is just so hard because we never had any issues prior. We had such a wonderful time last time I saw him, I never thought it would be the last. It’s just so weird. Why ask someone to be exclusive? Why waste your time?

it’s very confusing for you and you want answers. It’s completely natural to feel that way. No normal, emotionally healthy man would treat someone this way. It is completely unacceptable and speaks volumes about the type of person HE is. The hardest part about this is that you most likely won’t get any answers and coming to terms with that is going to take time. You just have to remember this is his issue, not yours. I’m right there with you… my ex and I broke up almost a month ago, he contacted me to say he missed me and was sorry he hurt me but no answers on why he imploded an otherwise really great relationship. Sometimes there are no answers.
If he hid your pictures that may indicate there is another woman involved but don’t obsess on it. Do not look at his social media under any circumstances. it will mess you up and set you back.
go to the gym, hang out with friends and keep yourself distracted. I’m sorry this happened. Some men seriously need to come with a warning label. hugs.

If he was upset you deleted him from social media then can’t he understand you were upset when he ignored you for 9 days? He should have been apologizing, telling you why he went so long without talking and his reasons but instead he gives you, he ‘didn’t want to get into conversations with people’. Are you kidding? He had 9 days and that’s what he comes up with? I’d rather a guy tell me he’s a stubborn a$$ and was expecting me to apologize instead of give me some lame excuse. And he never explained to you why he hid the pictures. Used the excuse of a relative passing away to get out of discussing it. Do you even know if he really had a death in the family? Or was this some long lost relative he hasn’t seen in 15 years?

And do you know how many guys say they’re going to be honest with you? EVERY one of them!! Do you really expect them to say upfront, I’m going to be honest with you, but f we get in a fight, i’m going to ignore you and stonewall you and not tell you what is wrong or why I’m not speaking to you? I’m going to be honest with you except if my ex girlfriend texts me I”m not going to tell you and I’m going to tell her I miss her? Or I’m going to be honest with you except for when you post pictures on social media that I hide and ask me about it I’m going to avoid the conversation. I’m going to be honest with you but if I want to breakup up I just prefer to ghost and never give you any closure?

Heather-this is odd-maybe he had another woman and she found out he was seeing you? The FB thing could indicate something like that. Sorry.

Within 3 months is quite early to already think someone is the one. You didn’t really know each other that well yet, especially 2hrs away from each other.

Try to take care of yourself and you will find someone you feel as good and better with in the future. This guy seems a mess.

Was this the first time you had pics posted on social media together? If so, he didn’t want someone to know about you.

All the signs are there. He’s not very good at hiding it. I’m guessing this is a new experience for you, or else you probably would have recognized what’s going on a lot sooner.

He’s shopping for someone else. He might have already found her. He doesn’t want to ruin that potential relationship by getting outed as having a girlfriend, so he’s hiding the evidence that you exist.

At the same time, he’s phasing you out. It’s a lot easier for him to preserve his own feelings and dignity if he just cuts you off and doesn’t have to deal with it. He won’t feel as bad about it if he doesn’t have to hear your side of things. Cowardly? Yes. Effective? Also, yes. That’s why he’s doing it.

It sucks, but the sooner you realize what happened, the sooner you can move on. That relationship was never going to pan out in your favor. It’s actually better that he did it sooner rather than later, because believe me, he was going to do it eventually.

Guy,

I guess I can see that? However, we still talked everyday and he always asked to take me out and he was very affectionate with me.

I felt like a girlfriend, and honestly don’t understand when he even had the time to find a new supply.

That is horrible, and so unbelievable to me. He still wanted to be together on our phone call. Perhaps his new supply didn’t work out?

I am feeling unworthy and not good enough :(

Kayla,

No he straight up asked me to be his girlfriend, that’s the tough part. I would never be with a man fully unless I knew I was his girlfriend. I don’t just mess around.

I hope I can find someone like your husband who is a consistent communicator. He was always the one more interested in me until the end. I guess that’s why I am so confused. I never felt ‘ahead’ of him. My friends all said the same, he seemed head over heels for me.

It’s disappointing to say the least. But going on 4 months together I thought I had more respect from him than that. He always said he wanted me in his future, now I wonder why everything was such a lie. I have a good heart and it saddens me.

Amz,

WOW! I just looked into future fakers– it sounds just like him! I actually had to kind of bring him back to reality a few times. Right off the bat he would say things like I can’t wait to take you here, or on a cruise , etc. I was like, we should slow down and just get to know each other.

I’ve realized he was a very big future talker, and smooth talker. Very hard not to fall for, hopefully I can heal soon. He was never the man he seemed to be, in reality he’s a ‘boy’ in his 30’s. Now it makes sense as to why he’s alone perhaps.