Boyfriend is active on a dating site.

Ann,

I would confront him. Did seeing this make you feel anything? I know I would feel like I was punched in the gut.

I think you should just be straight forward, you have every right to question him (regardless) and obviously you have reason to since you had broken up for possible cheating reasons before. Maybe just say that you have no interest in being serious with someone who is active on a dating website.

Hope this helps.

How about “Listen, when I saw that app on your phone it made me curious so I looked…I’m sure you know what I found. So, do you want to explain?”

Good luck Ann!

I wouldn’t be so sweet about the issue. I think it needs to be done strict and clear for him that you will not tolerate these that kind of behavior anymore and put up with it. Just straight to a point in WTF style

Hi Lane, actually I did post something similar a few months ago about a different issue. And I did leave, that day actually. And I’ve left him alone but he wouldn’t leave me alone. for a few weeks we have been talking again and such and he said he only wants to be with me and apologized, so I stopped talking to other men and started to be with him again. But today I seen that he was on match. The photos aren’t new but it said he had been active within 24 hours then it said he was online now. I haven’t confronted him yet because he is still at work. I wanted to give him another chance, But I know that continuing to put up with it isn’t going to change anything, so I’m going to confront him and make it clear and let him know that I gave him another chance but I’m not going to deal with that.

Also, you telling him ” I’m not going to deal with that” will do nothing except cause him to be more careful. Personally, I wouldn’t say a thing. What I would do is the dummy account. If you let him know, he’s looking pretty shady…as I said, he will only be more careful! He’ll add a password to his phone or hide the app in one of those apps that hide apps (yes they have them). Confronting him will only give him a “heads up”.

Wanna hear a sad story ? Once A cheater always a cheater!!
Been like this withe my husband for 9 years now. We lived in two dif states when we
before we married so when we moved in together i assumed the best of him.
N
Two years into the relationship i found him on dating sites under a fake name
He swore it was just flirting nd i was pregnant. To keep a long story short its never just
Talking !!!NEVER! Men dont just talk. And if he os doing this to you then igs more than
One girl!
Learned the hard way that when they do it to u on e and get away with it they do iy
Again. So baby run away while u can.
With me he promised he was just talking and it turned out that he was dating 4 women
At the same time! Got the good news as i was delivering my baby who was born ill
We both decided to be together for her sake but we live in separate rooms and he never
Changed. He tried to get back to me many times and everytime he deleted a site i find him in another.
Its ur life. Ur time. Dont waist it on someone who does this to u.

Ann,-

Only few months ago I was in a similar situation. Was in a serious relationship with this guy for 2 years, we were talking of buying a house together, getting married and having kids. In my mind he was always the one. Little did I know that during all the time I spent with him he was on all the dating sites. I confronted him those times that I found out and of course did get the standard response of me being the one. I thought we were both trying to improved and get over this online dating adventures but in fact I was the one running around with the duck tape and the glue , he still continued to be there after all those confrontations. My advise to you, let him be and let go of him. Move on. Someone who loves would never question being with you , would cherish and appreciate you. Don’t let him drag you down, move on because you deserve better.

Ann

“a man worth worrying about will do everything in his power to never make you worry”

I have found that, after many many dating errors, if I can’t trust someone, then I don’t need them.

You are a beautiful, intelligent woman and he is not accepting you for your caring dedicated self. Confronting him with an ultimatum is telling him that you are going to accept this behavior again.

You have options, although Mr Right might not be on the immediate horizon, he is looking for you!

Best of luck!!!!

I was in the same place with my ex, I thought things
we’re great but he was still active on a dating site long after we agreed to be exclusive.

I confronted him in a playful sweet way and he did end up shutting it down
but the truth is that I never should have had to ask in the first place.
That guy had kept secrets from me and we broke up eventually.

My boyfriend now would never in a million years do anything that dumb and is totally bewildered
that my ex’s would pull shenanigans like that. He offers to do everything while I never have to ask for anything.

I agree with previous posters. Keep your dignity, tell him this simply isn’t what you’re looking for,
you want a high quality, respectful relationship, then politely show him the door. Don’t look back.

There are beautiful sweet men who would love to be with you and treat you well.
Anytime your instinct goes off, trust it. It’s better than spy software.
The right guy will know how to make you feel secure and you will know it in your heart and mind.

Look you come on here and ask for advice’s. You pick one which is good, it might turned out for the worst or for the better. But honestly speaking what does YOUR gut tell you?
Really hun? A lot of women have had that issue and sadly speaking so did I and later I just found out about it when i BROKE up with my guy (no not for the dating sites from other personal issues) I decided to google him for fun found out he had 10 different accounts with the same name and face. how ironic and it made perfect sense when his iPhone beep a lot of times and spotted that it’s different women from different countries and states. Business work my ASS.
I agree with Holly these guys are all games and no truth. Even if you did confront him he will still do it. When you broke up with him that is a first sign! A sign for you to realize your relationship is not worth it. Honestly I am not being a rude or a bitch as though it seems to be. But you have to wake up and realize that this is not the kind of relationship you want with a guy or any guy. Who knows if you go on for long vacations he might be out with women on the side line when you are gone.

THINK ! Is this really WORTH it? Does he really LOVE YOU? cause he can get those in the dating sites by those desperate women asking for it.

Hi Ann, My heart breaks for you because I know exactly how you feel. I also caught a now ex boyfriend, with a profile on a dating site. In my case, he wanted me at his condo all the time, which I thought meant he wanted me around, now…I think it’s because he’s a cheating loser & therefore, because he knows firsthand that it happens, he’s created his own world devoid if trust. Anyway, at his condo, I was using his computer for research and closed a site that I wanted to return to. So…I clicked “History” expecting to only find my site…but found a wwhhhooollle lot more. He was active on many sites. He was asking other women to attend the upcoming Red Hot Chilli Peppers concert with him, which he had purchased tickets for us to attend together and it broke my heart in two. I left his place, only to have him call & try to BS me by telling me that what I had viewed was not a dating site profile, but unsolicited emails from some foreign sex spamming website!!! Can you believe that? I was 45 years old at the time and he was 42. For god sake, I didn’t just fall off the turnip truck, you know?!

At any rate, took him back and he only ended up getting better at hiding his cheating ways and eventually broke my heart another time until I’d had enough. From my perspective, the only thing you can do is get out now….or you’ll only feel the pain 100 times worse when he does it again later on and I guarantee you, he will. Spare yourself the regret of wasting precious time with this guy. Don’t wind up three years down the road, or so, when he cheats, walks out on you, or whatever else guys like him may do…which is anything selfish…and kick yourself for the three years lost and wasted when he’s thrown up this big red flag for you and you can save yourself today. Find a great guy, there’s one out there for you and you deserve him!!!