Boyfriend keeps liking his ex's pictures


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  • This topic has 4 replies and was last updated 7 years ago by Lane.
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  • #674097 Reply
    Jenna

    I have been dating my bf for 7 months now. He seems to be in love with me and we talk about our future together often. I have been burned really badly in my past by multiple guys who have either cheated on me or lied to me and told me they were single when they werent. So now i am really insecure and suspicious with my bf because I go through his phone, stalk his social media accounts and constantly ask him questions to see if he is like one of those guys. He knows that I go through his phone and gives it to me willingly, although recently he got a new phone and tried to get me to set up thumb print acccess to his phone but i denied because im trying to work on trusting him. I have also cut back on social media stalking however yesterday I found myself going through his fb photos, probably because I am off from school and bored and have nothing to do with my time so i go back to unhealthy habits, and saw that he has a lot of pics of his ex gf on there. So of course I click on her page and saw that he has been liking her photos recently and it made me really insecure and upset. I ignored him last night but im sure he doesnt think much of me not responding to his texts because he probably just thought i was sleeping but very soon i know he is going to wake up and text me and i dont know if i should address my insecurity or not. If i dont, then i dont think i can pretend like i am fine. My bf has gone above and beyond to try and show me that i can trust him, when we first got together he deleted and unfollowed every “ig model” and also gives me his phone willingly whenever i ask. When i would go through his phone i found that just before we got in a relationship he was messaging his ex and their conversations were telling each other how much they miss each other and they want to cuddle blah blah but he stopped as soon as he asked me to be his gf. A part of me thinks that he does still want to be with her but he cant because she lives in a different country and they only broke up because he came back to the states. I only believe that because of my insecurity most likely but also because they didnt have a bad break up and they still follow each other on social media and were talking before we just got together and now i found out he still likes her pictures and posts. What do i do? How should i handle this?

    #674134 Reply
    Honeypie

    Honey, your boyfriend liking his ex’s pictures are the tip of the iceberg of what you and him should be worried about.

    he hands you his phone for you to check through? You check through his social media and stalk and he actually considered you having the fingerprint recognition on his mobile?

    I can see from your reference about school that you are young, and I can see that your obsessive stalking and checking comes from a place of anxiety and insecurity, BUT it is so controlling and actually abusive to the extent you carry it out towards your boyfriend.

    How would you feel if the behaviour was reversed here? He has done nothing wrong- so what he messaged his ex BEFORE you two were together. He likely did miss her then. He’s liking her pictures? I kind of get that would get to you and especially with your issues… however the point here is they are your issues and they are significant.

    You sound quite ill with this if I’m honest. Look up anxious-preoccupied personality and see it this resonates with you.

    Carrying on like this makes you miserable AND your partner miserable too. Imagine being constantly accused? That is what you are doing to him. You will affect his self esteem and self worth with this carry on. There is no excuse for treating him this way OP. You appear to rile out your excuses like it gives you permission… it doesn’t. Address your problems.

    #674198 Reply
    my2cents

    You should be ashamed to even post here. You need psycho therapy. Your behaviour is such a turn off . I would drop you like a hot mess.

    #674199 Reply
    Julie

    1) Given your extreme insecurities, it’s honestly only a matter of time until he gets sick of your paranoia and drops you. You’re making his ex look really attractive.

    2) Cut him loose, he doesn’t deserve to be treated like this, and get working with a counselor to clear your issues before you date anyone else.

    #674217 Reply
    Lane

    You are the common denominator, meaning how is it that one person (you) can be burned so badly by men? This one is next if you don’t fix the core issues that makes you so crazily insecure to the point you have to constantly STALK him and create all kinds of scenarios in your mind that makes him out to be some bad guy. You need to seriously get a handle on this professionally because its sounds like an obsessive compulsive disorder or addiction and that’s no way to live. I actually feel sorry for this guy.

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