Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Boyfriend keeps me a secret?
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Sarah
I have been dating my boyfriend for about four months. He has never wanted anyone to know that we are dating and ignores me on social media. We both write for the same blog and he doesn’t want anyone at work to know about us. What is going on? Why doesn’t he want people to know we are dating? I am getting tired of it, should I say something? Or just let it go until he is ready?
Ashley
I’ve had this happen to me before. Usually when a guy hides you especially on social media it’s because he’s talking to other females. I just wouldn’t be with someone who hides me because it’s indicative of bigger problems. A guy you’re with should feel lucky to have you & show you off.
cookie dough
Hey Sarah, sorry this is happening to you
but imo…he is just being plain rude. he is treating you like a FWB!
4 months is quite a bit of time to be hiding someone…. don’t let him get his wayHealthdove
Sarah I am sorry this is happening to you. I think you should discuss this with him and see how he really feels about you and tell him what your concerns are. Communication is key to a good relationship. If he doesn’t want to be your boyfriend then cut the strings, the earlier the better. If he have reasons as to y he is hiding then listen and see if it sounds legit. Hope this helps.
Sin
Sarah, Sometimes people want to keep work and their personal lives separate. When I dated a guy at work, I did not want people at work to know. Additionally I have a lot of work people on facebook so even when we interacted on Facebook, we used to just ‘like’ each other’s pictures and interact like how friends would do (Sometimes commenting on pictures, checking in etc.) However in your case, if he does not even acknowledge you as a friend on social media then there is something amiss. Be calm and tell him politely that you would like to discuss this. Have a heart to heart and be confident in your own skin. If you still think something is amiss, then walk away with your head held high. Additionally, I hope you have met his close friends and he has met yours? If that’s the case then I’d say you’re in a good place. Sometimes people gradually open up on social media. That could be a possibility. Good luck!
Raven
If your boyfriend is keeping you a secret, he’s not really your boyfriend… sorry.
Amy S
Hi. Has he had a few relationships he maybe added them in the past and wants to keep things a bit more private in case its another gf added that doesn’t work out. I don’t have my bf on fb just because I feel my fb is all my mummy pals n kids photos and not something he would be interested in, nothing sinister at all lol x
Smile
It is either for work reasons or other women reasons. Maybe both.
You are not official anything until it is declared to the world – so you are free to do as you want….
I would not trust someone who was so deceptive…that is me.
CMN
I can relate! And it drove me crazy! But my guy has always been discreet.
First, social media, some people love it, some like it, some hate it. How does he use his page? My guy has a few hundred friends but rarely ever posts anything. I don’t post info about us as it is personal.
Second, work. We also work together. We do not let co-workers know we are seeing each other. I suppose some suspect, a couple know, but we both blow off any questions or suggestions that we are seeing each other.
People have gradually figured out we are dating. We had other issues in the beginning as well. I wanted everyone to know at one point. But then I ask myself what the purpose really is? So, i had to figure out what was most important to me. For us, I think it was around the 6-9 month mark that people started to find out. We are at a year and many people probably still don’t know. But I’ve know my guy nearly 15 years. And he has always been this way.
I wish you luck with this cuz it can be hard.Andrea
I would say it is acceptable if he hasn’t introduced you to friends or family yet at this point, maybe he is just more reserved than others. Bu hiding you from everybody is different and a red flag. At this time he should start to bring you into his life if he sees a future with you, at least show you to people aren’t very important to him. So only you can tell.
yahoo
Been through the same…i would say thats a red flag. Be alert girl, go find out the real reason..ask him..but don’t just believe wat he says..some guys are too good at manipulating. Make sure u r exclusive and he is not in any other relationship at the same time. Have u met his friends n family..if not do not let him play with you. If he is serious he would never hide u..u only hide things wen there is sumthng wrong. If i suspect sumthng, try n find out. Its really going to hurt a lot later wen things get really serious
So do it now. -
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