Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Boyfriend leaving on trip for 1 month
- This topic has 3 replies and was last updated 9 years, 5 months ago by
redcurleysue.
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Jennifer
Hello ladies hopefully some of you can give me some advice.
My boyfriend of 3 years is from France. He is thinking about going to visit his family this summer for 1 whole month. About 2 months ago he asked me what I thought of the idea of going to France with him and I told him that I’d love to go. Then a couple of weeks later he asked me how many days vacation I can get at work and I told him I get 2 weeks. Anyway, yesterday when we hung out he said to me “Babe, I might be leaving to France in August for one month, I haven’t planned it, I don’t have my ticket yet, but I am thinking about going” I just said okay and then I went silent on him. I was expecting him to invite me but he said nothing. He asked me why I was upset and I didn’t want to tell him why because I feel like if he wants to take me with him then it should come out from him without me having to say anything. But it does bother me a lot. Especially because 1 month is a long time :( and after 3 years I would expect him to take me into account so I don’t know if I should wait and see if he actually invites me or if I should bring it up and ask him? What do you all think?
Andrea
Come on, he is not a mind reader, why don’t you say it directly you want to go with him? After 3 years, you should be able to ask for anything! Maybe he doesn’t want you to come home by yourself because you only have 2 weeks vacation.
Sin
I think after being with him for 3 years, you can tell him you’d accompany him. What you could do is you could join him for whichever 2 weeks (acc to your leave) that work for you. Since he has asked you twice, he probably expects you to confirm to him that you would love to go with him. C’mon it’s been 3 years, tell him, be direct :) xx
redcurleysue
I have a different point of view.
First of all he may want to go alone. Sometimes it is hard to bring someone else along when you want to feel free to do unplanned things and visit family the other person does not know. You feel responsible that they have a good time when you are trying to relax.
Do you speak French? That can be hard also if he has to constantly translate for you.
Second of all, while it seems like a month is a long time it is not long at all…and most humans can use a break from each other to recharge as individual people. While he is gone you may want to take your own trip…hmmmm….interesting isn’t it?
Personally – I would open my mind to other possibilities if he does not seem interested in you going. I see your point that if he included you the first time but did not include you in his latest plans that until he tells you he wants you to come with him I would assume he changed his mind…but unlike you I would be happy about it either way.
Just go with the flow…no worries…either way you win.
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