Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Boyfriend not finishing during sex…
- This topic has 8 replies and was last updated 9 years, 5 months ago by
Dyshonda.
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Jessie
Ok so I really hope it’s ok to ask this here. I’m not going to be explicit or anything but seeing as this is a “sex advice” forum too I figured what the hell…Me and my boyfriend have had sex 3 times now. We’ve been together for a while now and just had sex together for the first time about 4 days ago. My first time all together, not his. Well all 3 times we had sex, I’ve never felt or heard him “finish”. I think he’s enjoying himself because he moans every now and again and breathes really hard and bites his bottom lip and smiles and just the way he grabs me and touches me during the act tells me he’s enjoying it, but I’m wondering what’s up. I asked him and he said that he sets his mind not to finish too soon but that he can go for a long time and has to take breaks to catch his breath in between but that he IS enjoying it and loves having sex with me. I really want to get him to the finish line because I feel bad AND it’s a turn on to me for him to finish. Do you think he’s telling me the truth or could it be something else?
Miss_Aspiring
Are you SURE he hasn’t finished? Maybe he did and you didn’t know? Or did he confirm that he didn’t any of the 3 times?
It does seem odd, because with guys, once they get started, they usually don’t want to stop until they’ve achieved orgasm. In general, there are several possible reasons why a guy wouldn’t finish during sex:
– He’s too tired
– He’s too stressed or preoccupied
– Self esteem issues
– He’s not that attracted to his partnerA guy once told me that he’d been with a girl who was cool, but he just wasn’t THAT attracted to her, and therefore he couldn’t finish when they had sex. But I’m not saying that’s the case with you. He told you he loves having sex with you, so there must be something else going on.
Maybe next time, if he seems to stop in the middle, ask, “Did you finish, babe?” And if he says no, ask if he wants to keep going! He might need a minute to catch his breath, but there’s no reason he shouldn’t want to continue after that.
BriLyse
You gave him the “V” card, how cute! Lol. Okay…serious time.
Don’t worry about it girl. As long as you’re wet, he’s enjoying it. Trust me. The only bad sex for men is dry sex. They really don’t need your help if your wet enough, that’s why you hear comedians say “Shit you can stay sleep for all I care.” Lol. And No way you’d be his girlfriend if he didn’t find you attractive so don’t worry. If you want to know what he likes experiment or flat out ask him. Ask him his hot spots, and practice kissing or licking those spots. Try talking a little raunchy to him, like how much you missed him, how you love the way he feels, say it in a sexy tone. Every guy loves a good ego stroking. Some guys love when you rake your nails across their back, or squeeze their back pulling them in deeper. Wrap your legs around him. Kiss him on cheek and forehead. Sounds like something out of a soap opera, but it will show him he’s not humping a blow up doll, or a manikin. Like “Hey, I’m alive down here!” lol.
I’ve had a guy not be able to perform because he doesn’t like the condom (OH DAMN WELL). Then there was this one guy that used to finish after one stroke, literally! Man that was irritating, but I did make him wait a while, and he was always so physically attracted that when the time came he was too excited. Go figure.Beka
I have a boyfried for 9 months, and I didn’t see him finish never.
We almost had sex everyday and I know he enjoyed that. At the end I discovered he took “the blue pill” all the time (despite he has only 29 years old) .
I am not sure if that produced retardation on him or something. He was always up and ready but didn’t finish. I enjoyed myself. lol.
On the other hand, I had also a boyfriend that suffered of “premature ejaculation”. It was really annoying!!! not because he had a problem or whatelse it was because he didnt want to accept it and as soon as :he finished: he even didnt care about if I was ok or not. he didnt help me to finish either! I didnt have any orgams with him of course during our 6 months relationship.
Thinking about your case, there is a chance he wants you to lead that? He wants you to do the job the first time? Did you think about it that possibility?JR
I wouldn’t worry. Do you orgasm? Some men, good lovers will want you to finish first then they will finish like my guy. He always makes sure I am satisfied no matter how long it takes. Did he actually say he didn’t finish? Some guys are good at not spasms when they finish but you can feel it tense up when they do and you are right it’s so hot when they do. They feel the same way when we finish too. My guy once inawhile doesn’t finish but it’s usually cause he’s very tired but that’s on a very rare occasion.
Jessie
So we had sex twice today and the first time I don’t think he finished, but the second time he pulled out and did his business. So maybe certain positions or something. I was super into it this time and we changed positions but the final one was the one that seemed to have done it for him…So mmm, maybe? lol thanks!
Miss_Aspiring
Thanks for the update, Jessie :) It sounds like you two are finding your rhythm together, which is awesome. With every couple, it’s different.
Amy S
I think in a new relationship like other things the sex gets better in time when you are more relaxed and familiar with each other. I was dating a guy for about a month and the sex was just normal then one time we did it and I don’t know what happened it was fricking amazing and it just stayed like that every time after lol. It was like a clicking into place moment or something x
Dyshonda
Jessie,
When I first had sex with my boyfriend he didn’t finish. We had to have sex at least four to.es before he did the deed. Like you I felt that it was me who was the problem. I talked to him about it and he said wasn’t me. I think it was the fact that he had been wanting to do this for a long time. Second, we’ve known each other since 1st grade, and last, we are in our 40’s. There was always attraction there, but actually doing what he always wanted got the best of .Now that we know each other physically we have awesome sex.
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