Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Boyfriend not shutting down flirting client
- This topic has 2 replies and was last updated 1 year, 3 months ago by
AngieBaby.
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Zara
Hello! My boyfriend works in somewhat of a sales role and one of his clients or someone he is working with (without getting into details) I have seen has been texting him very flirty. Telling him he’s her favorite, sending hearts and heart eye emojis, calling him “daddy”. He doesn’t ever respond inappropriately, but he also never shuts her down he just moved the convo forward with an lol or a smiley and moves it back to work related. I know he hasn’t necessarily done anything wrong but I’ve looked and seen that’s it’s Ben going in for a few months. I just feel in a long term serious relationship he should be shutting it down. Am I overreacting or is it normal to expect a significant other to shut down overly flirty interactions in person or via text rather than just ignore it?
Ewa
he not only should be shutting it down but also reporting it to HR if this is someone he is working with. In terms of this being his client, it depends how much money that person spends as she could be seen as someone valuable so he has to keep her ‘happy’ if that makes sense. I am assuming he told you about it , not you finding out by accident ? I am also assuming you have seen text messages etc, does he act suspicious , does he talk a lot about that person, does he give you a reason not to trust him?
She could be an older woman just enjoying a bit of banter , not saying that I would be super happy about it but maybe it is not as bad as it might seem.AngieBaby
He’s trying to shut it down using a method calling extinguishment. Meaning he ignores the inappropriate things she’s saying with the aim that she will get the message he’s not interested and stop. If it’s been going on for a while he has to face the fact it’s not working.
How do you know about these messages? Did he tell you or are you checking his phone?
He may not be able to or may not feel he’s able to tell her directly to stop if she’s a valuable client. Typically in the US you don’t report things like this to HR, you would discuss with your immediate manager if necessary but given his complete lack of response to her and the immediate return to business, he probably doesn’t think he has to.
What does he say when you talk with him about it?
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