boyfriend of over a year has ignored me for a week

I don’t think you were being clingy or needy, but it does seem like you are making a majority of the effort when it comes to communication between you two. The fact he sent you to voicemail and then said he would call you but didn’t, is pretty crummy boyfriend behavior.

Is this the first time he’s been this decent with you in the year you’ve been with him?

Hi I could’ve written this my damn self LOL.

My BF also of almost a year is one of the busiest men I know (owns his own electrical business plus works as a gov’t contractor). We met during a slowdown time in his job so he had loads of time then to hang out, movies, dates etc. It was beuatiful. he warned me a few weeks in that his season was gonna pick back up and our time wouldn’t be as often. He also said that it has been an issue in his past relations where he couldn’t devote the time and most woman walked away out of disheartedness. I thought I could handle it but I FREAKED out when my text and calls went unanswered for few days.

I didn’t do the “if you wanna break up with me” text but I did tell him that I don’t think he has time for a fulltime relationship and maybe we should part ways. That’s when he reminded me of what he said few weeks prior and while ha hasn’t gone a whole week without contact, he has gone weeks without seeing each other. It is tough and takes a special kinda understanding to hold onto someone like that.

Hope this tid bit helps but I’m still learning how to be so patient. Its not like he’s out womanizing or bar hopping or with his boys ya know. Whenever he calls he’s either on his way from or just leaving a job site.

I think before anyone can tell you whether or not this was needy or incessant or whatever it totally depends on your pattern of communication in the relationship. A year is a long time to have developed a pattern of either contacting each other every day or every few days. If your pattern was not going more than two or three days without communicating and he went a week, then yes I agree you had reason to try to figure out what was going on. And to follow up to that, when he finally did get back with you he told you he would call and then he didn’t. That’s very rude because he knew at this point your were upset. Who knows maybe he was trying to avoid having the conversation knowing you were mad at him.

While I don’t agree with your “if you want to break up with me send me a text back saying that” method, I do think you were right to be upset by the whole situation. You don’t make it clear right now whether or not he’s out of town. If he is, I would wait until he gets back in town and ask him to sit down and let you know what is going on.

Personally, it this society that we live in where people are attached to their phones I find it really hard to believe that anyone is too busy to not text you back for a few days when you are in a committed relationship with someone. My boyfriend knows that I hate to be ignored and he usually won’t let more than 5-6 hours go by before he responds to my text. And that is only when he’s working. We communicate every day by text and phone calls so if he were to break that pattern I would definitely think something was wrong. But I wouldn’t immediately think it was that he wanted to break up with me. So maybe you should just cool your heels, not contact him and see what happens. If you’ve been incredibly understanding as you say up to this point, then he needs to step up and show that he’s willing to make this work too.

So you are saying you let you bf get back to you in his own time because he is busy and you let him set the pace etc. But basically you freaked out after two days. And after day 3 you were fed up. All fine, but don’t think of yourself that you give him space to get back to you when he is not busy.

Hey newbie
read the post before you judge. I didnt freak after three days. After five days i called him and he said he would call me back that was the only communication after a week. If you are going to judge please read the post first

Newbie
i am really not sure why you are being so hostile about this. I was upset and my point wasnt to be “proud” it was just explaining the situation not about any rules. There is a deep level of trust which is why i don’t usually freak out. However this was out of the ordinary and in my opinion quite extreme. I really have no idea why you are being so judgmental about this.

Newbie, I’m confused, I don’t why anyone would be on a non contact rule if they’re in a relationship. You should only be doing the non contact rule when the relationship has ended. And, I’m sorry, I think the OP is completely justified in being upset. This isn’t just a few days of zero communication. This is days and days of zero communication AND being ignored combined. And even if there are women out there who would be okay with this kind of treatment, clearly the OP is not and so this is not the right man for her.

Well no need to freak out. I wasnt referring to you about the non contact rule. That was a general remark about girls saying one thing and doing the other. I was only commenting on the fact that you patted yourself on the back about how patient you are with your guy and how you let him be, give him space etc, but you manage to break up with him over text because he didn’t text. After a year in the relationship.
I was only referring to that, because if you were relaxed about how he is, then you wouldn’t give yourself so much credit about being patient. If a relationship is good and smooth you wouldn’t think of yourself being sainlty. So to me it says you are not being your true self in this relationship (the one that is no more). But i was just bringing up another point for you to maybe consider. I didn’t bring it very gentle though, so my apologies.

Have you heard anything yet ? x

Ok and i’m very sorry you got a bad outcome and that you’re upset. Take care.

Yes please let us know what happened, it is ok to be upset, you had every right to be upset. I am just not sure what happened during this one year because this reaction from him is abnormal after a one year relationship with someone. I am not sure if you two had a good relationship, why you had to be patient the whole time, etc. It sounds like this was not the relationship for you but you chose to stay, I am assuming here since we do not know the details but if you had to be so patient, then perhaps things were less than ideal and he has never been that interested. What he did to you for an entire week is totally not ok. Completely ignoring you, not contacting you but not even responding to several attempts to reach out to him is very rude. I am also not sure if this was his regular pattern, I mean not the not responding part but that you were the one that had to reach out to him every time. I am sorry this happened to you, I would have been livid too. Hope you are ok.

I really feel for the OP. Unless someone died your BF’s behavior is completely unacceptable.

I have never had anyone I was in a serious relationship with pull such a thing, and if they did I would be extremely hurt and incredibly livid.

The only thing I would not have done is send the text “asking” if he was done with me. I would have decided and stated it’s over, because somoeone who truly cares about you does not act this way. I would have given the benefit of the doubt at first, but after a week, then sent to VM…and an unfulfilled promise to call back…that would have been it.

I’ve dated guys with kids who owned their own business and were very busy. They always made time to call, text and see me. If they didn’t I would take that as a sign of low interest.

While there are always exceptions to the rule, and things need to be looked at on a case by case basis, a man in love doesn’t act this way, unless something is up.

I hope I’m wrong, but my immediate thought was this guy had met someone else or was doing something equally douchey.