Boyfriend seems off

I would mirror his behavior. It doesn’t really sound good. I had a bf who started asking what day were you coming over? when we had clearly made plans. It turned out he was seeing another girl at the same time and probably couldn’t keep it all straight.

On this website folks always say that around the 3-4 month mark is when men decide if they see a future with you and want to settle into something more serious.

It seems to really be true because so many women post here for advice who have been dating guys for 3-4 months, saying that is seems like the guys are losing interest. It definitely seems to be the case in your situation. His vibe is off, he doesn’t ask you to hang out, no longer says he wants to do things with you, etc. You told him he seemed uninterested and his reply was “I don’t know”. They are all clear signs. A guy that wanted to pursue a future with you would not be doing these things. On the contrary, you’d be in the honeymoon period now and he’d be extremely attentive.

I agree that mirroring his behavior is the way to go. I wouldn’t ask to hang out or invite myself over at this point. Make him do some of the work. If he doesn’t initiate then you know he’s lost interest.

All super great advice. Also, unfortunately many men don’t have the ovaries to tell a woman they want something to end OR just don’t spend any time self reflecting so don’t even notice how they feel — they just ACT. And the actions say a lot. This leaves women to do what they should be doing all along — loving and prioritizing their self first. This should be less about riddling out what’s the heck’s going on with him and more about you asking yourself is this what you want? A boyfriend who doesn’t cherish you, court you, or communicate well? Give it a little bit more time with stepping back – but ultimately if it he doesn’t step up big time — have the courage to leave what is not making you happy. Not with a big fuss or drama. When you have a lot of self love it’s more of a calm decision, like — ‘Ya no. I’m not putting up with this BS.’

Good luck

It’s always sad when the poster misses many of the points of the replies. The person you should be most actively supporting is you! Men don’t want a supporter in the beginning. They want to be intrigued by you. They want to have fun with you. Supporting happens over time, after big bonds have been made. Stop making excuses for his behavior. A man can be working himself into the ground but if he’s in love he will make sure his woman knows it. Staying “as long as you can” means you are codependent on someone else, instead of relying on your self for happiness.

As posters have written in the past, when a guy really likes you and probably loves you- he will make it work. You won’t have to be a certain way for the relationship to work- it just does. And a really great love is rare, not impossible. When you recognize it, you treasure it as it may only happen a handful of times. There will be many, many men that you will date who are not this great love and as you date them, you will notice how the relationship is limited in one way or another. Some of these limitations you can live with but most times it’s a deal breaker. I can tell you, if a guy shows disinterest- that’s a deal breaker because there are many others that want to be with you and a few you may find that great love with. It’s not thus one, so you can use him as a time filler or you can decide to spend your energies on someone who gives that same energy to you,