Home › Forums › Break Up Advice › Break up!
- This topic has 2 replies and was last updated 4 years, 3 months ago by
Lane.
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Mandy
Hi guys, I broke up with my bf of 2 years tonight. I feel he became distant towards me in the last month or so. Initially I thought it may be to do with Covid and it’s been affecting his job. I raised the question with him last week and we thought maybe we should have a break and give each other some space to think about where our relationship is heading. I love him dearly, my feelings for him never changed. A week gone by he messaged me today wanting to meet up to talk about it. He told me it’s best to break up because he still doesn’t know why he became distant towards the relationship and don’t want to mislead me on as it would be u fair to me. I’m pretty confident it’s nothing to do with another woman. He told me he still loves and cares for me. He cried a lot and was really emotional.
I want to work on it but he doesn’t seem to know what he wants, it will end up to be just a one way street. I love this guy a lot too.
Thanks for reading. I just want to express my feelings that’s all. I will keep myself busy and hopefully I can move on quickly.
Sensy
You are handling the matter so well. Take good care of yourself and trust God’s path for you.
Lane
I understand how hard this is for you but its something we’ve all been through and its going to hurt for awhile.
I would meet and talk to him so to clear the air and leave on a good footing. Once you’ve done this you have to go *no contact* and take the “out of sight, out of mind” approach as it will do one of two things: 1) Give HIM the space and time to see what his life without you in it truly FEELS like where he will either be OK or have a change of heart. If he should for some reason have a change of heart he would have to step up in a big huge meaningful way for you to even consider a “do over.” Note: Do overs have an abysmal survival rate because the reasons for the initial breakup have never been resolved and you’ll just end up in the same dysfunctional cycle…wash, rinse, repeat.
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2) It gives you the time to start the grieving process as soon as possible because you are no longer holding onto a dead relationship, or hope he will return because in your mind “its over” and need to treat it as a death. Trust me, with space and time apart you’ll eventually begin to see it wasn’t a good, happy or healthy relationship and that its time for you to get your *mojo back* (happiness) on your own by doing things that make you happy by being able to do “what you want, when you want, anytime you want, with whomever you want!” Being single can be loads of fun—so much funner than being miserable or stuck in an unloving or unsatisfying relationship! I would take single over that every time—been there, done that, will never ever do it again!
My mantra during these kind of situations is “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger!” I know you can’t see it now because its still so raw but you will get stronger over time (out of his sight) and survive this no differently than you’ve survived other losses during your lifetime. Just breathe—-you will get through this.
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