Broke up after 6 months and absolutely devastated

He’s always kept his word but for some reason i’m not sure if he’ll actually reach out. Either way I have to move on regardless.

How long it takes to heal greatly depends on if you keep picking at the wound–checking his social media, asking mutual friends about him, going to places you think he’ll be, keeping reminders of him such as old texts, etc. Scrub your life of all reminders and go complete no contact.

I had every intention of staying the night too and he surprised me by suggesting that it would be better if I didn’t because it would make everything that much more painful spending the night after having just ended things. We sobbed with each other for a couple hours and then he ordered me a car home. I guess I felt angry almost as if I was being kicked out but that just shows how different we are. He grieves by himself whereas I seek comfort. Don’t know if I’m being too harsh on him because it’s so raw or not.

He was right to ask you to go. Why add to the pain you’re already feeling? You can’t seek comfort from the person who broke your heart! It’s like asking the person who just shot you for a band aid. It doesn’t work that way. I have to agree with the others that having a designated check in at 2 weeks is just going to set you back to the beginning. It will be a huge mistake. It took you almost 7 months to realize you two weren’t a match. It sucks, but someday you will realize this was for the absolute best when you meet the person you are meant to be with. It doesn’t mean you won’t get your heart broken along the way. But meeting the right person has a way of healing all those old hurts and making them worth it!!

Dear OP it’s so very painful, we can all relate

Why don’t you check in here ever few days? Let this forum listen to how you’re doing. You’ll get through this, and I suspect you know that

Thanks for the kind words ladies. Every day is like a roller coaster right now. I’m completely fine one minute and the. The next minute I’m balling my eyes out. I’m trying to surround myself with friends and family. Went to dinner with a gal pal last night which I was very much in need of. Of course a few things reminded me of him but as she and I ate I began to temporarily forget about everything as we chatted. Deep down I know he’s not the one for me but he was so good to me and part of me fears I won’t find someone like that again.

Unfortunately this is the worst part of falling in love and it not working out the way you hoped or envisioned it would. The good news is we heal and able to love again so although you may feel heartbroken now in time you will feel better and open to loving the man you were meant to be with. :o)

I agree with the others saying not to check in after two weeks. I know the two of you agreed to, but I do not think that is not enough time. I think at the two week mark you will probably be just on the verge of not crying and missing him every 5 mins, and texting would only set you back. All this advice is really hard to apply when you’re in the middle of it.

Some thing that really REALLY helped me with my last break up was journaling. It started when I would feel super sad or wanted to text him. I would literally write in my journal, “How are you feeling right now?” And I would start writing as if I was talking to a friend. The days I wanted to text him I would write “why do you want to text him” or “what outcome are you expecting” and my favorite one “how are you going to feel when he doesn’t respond”. Some times I would spend an hour asking myself these different questions and answering them and before I knew it, the feeling passed or I was strong enough not to give into the urge. I know it sounds super cheesy but I really helped me and I still do it to this day in regards to other aspects of my life. It really helps me to focus on the real underlying issue or feeling and instead of making emotional decisions, it allows me to make better decisions that I don’t regret later.

Things are very raw right now, so just allow yourself to grieve and do what you need to do. Cry it out. Punch a pillow. Go through all the emotions. (in the privacy of your own home, of course) Then, when you start thinking a little clearer, please remember that there are MANY men out there. This was not your man. Your man is still out there…and he’s looking for you! There’s a reason they say “plenty of fish in the sea”. It’s the law of abundance! This man is NOT the only man out there. Google abundance. It will help you heal. And yes, TIME helps heal the most. You will be OK. ;)

Wow, typos galore. Meant “how” not “hoe” lol.

Steph- I had a similar experience with a bf. We had a fight, broke up mutually, and then when I went to his place to have a talk with him- literally one week after sleeping with him, he greeted me with what he called a “side hug”. He had already put that boundary in place and while that might be healthy, it was so hurtful. It’s amazing how you can go from complete intimacy to strangers so quickly.

It is difficult not to be sad after a breakup. It is a time of mourning, mourning the relationship. To stop thinking about him you have to do exercise, pay attention to your breathing as much as you can, every time that you begin to think about him, change your attention to your breathing, to the sounds around you.

Sometimes tears just flow like a river.

Journal was mentioned by one of the participants of the forums. It a good form of releasing your thoughts and feelings. Ask yourself questions: What do I really desire? what did I learn from this experience? Usually, the people that are not with us anymore were with us to teach us a life lesson.

I do not know why you two broke up, you said you were not meant to be with each other anymore but you wanted the last kiss and felt hurt when he did not want to kiss you back. Take into consideration that most men are not perfect, the same as most women are not perfect either. Was the situation with him that bad that the relationship had to end?.

Take into consideration that you can find a better man but once you marry there will be other situations that couples have to deal with. The important thing is both of you will have to talk and do things to feel love and respect.

Men desire to be respected, women desire to be loved. It is in the application of good communication skills and actions that show respect and love, respect of boundaries, knowing him and yourself and what you really desire, that you can create your life.