Bumble, same apartment complex , ghosting !?

I don’t Why and How ! but everytime I am waiting for his text and end up posting here , I get a text from him, I think with this conversation I made clear I am not doing this again, and I am not going to settle for less

But I still didn’t feel very good about it, as we last texted on Tuesday, and then there was no communication. And right before weekend I get a text.

I told him Sorry I won’t be able to do this, as I am not a casual dating kind of person and I am feeling very guilty about sleeping over…nothing on you, I should have been more responsible with my drinks and actions.

Too which he replied don’t think like that, it was a good day spent and nothing happened between us that night, we were hanging out just like friends. And he feels responsible of me being wasted.

This “just like friends” didn’t set well with me…
we were hugging each other whole night.

Would you please please please stop pining over this guy and running after him and being annoyed because he isn’t responding to you the way you want. This man is not interested in having the relationship with you that you have built up a fantasy you want to have with him. You’re here asking over and over if there’s a future with a man you barely know and for some reason have sold yourself on. He’s showing you low interest and you keep poking at this situation while ignoring the obvious signs this is going nowhere.

You are all over the place. Let this be and focus on yourself. How is your life? What’s missing that makes you act like this with a man you hardly know? It seems to be very important to you to be in a relationship to the point you’ll attempt to force it with anyone. Is that a cultural thing? Where are you getting that pressure from? You went out and got falling down drunk with a man you really like on an early date. What was that all about??

Stop and be with yourself and make yourself happy first before you go looking for a man again. Get off Bumble for a while. Looking for fulfillment and happiness in a relationship or anywhere outside yourself never works in the long run.

Have faith in the process.

I understand the indian process

You said you guys have talking through the app for almost one and a half month now. He has been talking about his friends , his past relationships, his family…take it as a clue that he is opening up to you. You guys talked about relationship stuff after you were drunk, so he really wanted to know the truth about you…because he is interested in you, didn’t cross physical boundaries even sleeping next to you because he either has that respect for you or doesn’t want to exploit you. As a gentlemen he took good care of you, he feels equally responsible about your health day…he always wanted you to come home…but never thought that you will be in bed so soon.

Sometimes things don’t start with physical things, makeout or kisses..sometimes a hug, holding hands tell you a lot more…I am sure you wanted more, may be the guy wanted more too after you left. As per your post he is the one who has initiated the texts ..not as per your expectation.., may be he was testing the waters…

Someone earlier said don’t try to force things…let it take its own course, I believe he has equally good time as you. Guys want to connect to a girl who they can talk to…no relationship lasts on just sex but it does on friendship and small things that make you happy ! :)

So have faith , don’t initiate the contact, guys feel a certain pull when a girl ignores them, dont ask abot anything in terms of relationship…he will do it.

Give yourself 3 weeks…I believe you will find your answers one way or the other :)

Have faith and belive yourself. Guys are always under more pressure, they know you gils have plenty of options…if he pulls away, he was never the one.

Don’t put tyour eggs in one basket…

Erin, that is the most amusing, informational post I’ve read here in a long time!!

I_D thanks for explaining the Indian culture. What you’ve been saying makes better sense in that light. I”m glad you’ve got this into perspective for yourself.

Do not Text !

You made food the same week and then he asked you out . He hasn’t asked you out , to meet him and clarify things ..when you live right next to each other.

Hold your head high…if he responds be normal , else drop it like dead rat and focus on yourself . Your conversation depicts your state of mind….

You are the QUEEN and The PRIZE.

It feels you still want things to work with him, you are the one fueling it if you see, let him be the man and take the lead.
And you my dear …leave him..mentally :) <3

You guys have no idea how big of a support system you are right now.
Whenever a thought of initiating a contact crosses my mind…I straight away look at your texts.

I am getting this urge of reaching out ( I know the bullsh*t reasons I am giving myself):

1. May be he got offenced by my last text that I am feeling guilty and blah blah
2. May be he feels he did something wrong and can’t text me because of embaressment
3. He was the one who initiated contaced (thrice) after that night !
——-
Bottom line I saved his number as Do NoT TEXT ! lol

He told me while we were coming back that he was in a relationship for 2 years and did a lot for the girl, even to apoint asked her to marry, but she was in her zone.

One reasoning :
I feel may be he is hurt from that experience that’s why cautious now

My Self worth Reasoning :

If he can invest in a girl who didn’t wanted somethin long term, then he can definitly step up for girl who can’t do anything casual :D

—–
This is exhausting…as much as I try doing other stuff I come back thinking on the same lines…but I am no crying or cranky ..just thinking alot…and can’t stop.
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Question : In early dating phase are guys Insecure as well ?

When a man is acting wishy washy, you just observe and see what they do. You do not fill the space for them.

Honey,when you find yourself trying to psycho-analyze a man and rationalizing things, it’s safe to say you are out of the game altogether.

You’re in denial, it’s understandable, it’s normal and it happens to the best of us. Just don’t spend a lot of time in that state.

So here’s a few tips, for next time you start vibing with someone on Bumble or on any app.

1)When it comes to dating apps, when you match and start talking and vibe, move the conversations to your phones. The more you spend your back and forth on the app, the more your chances of actually starting something dwindle. Next thing the conversations just fade.

2) After talking for a bit and you still vibe, move it to phones calls/video calls and then set a meet up. It you stay in the same area and you spend two weeks without a meet up, it means it’s not going to happen or they’re not that into you.

3) Expect nothing when you meet up, just have fun and be yourself. If they don’t call or text after the date it’s okay, no problem. Onto the next one or not… It’s up to you.

4) If they set another date, good for you, still expect nothing, go out and have fun. As long as y’all both on the app expect nothing, y’all still playing the field and weighing your options so don’t expect epic declarations of. love.

Couples who decide to be together and be exclusive make conscious decisions to both delete their apps.

5) As long as y’all still there, it’s open season, he’s talking to other women and you should be talking to other guys as well. You are both single!

This is now you survive dating apps otherwise you’ll be falling for every guy who gives you attention and get yourself twisted.

Dating apps are a minefield, don’t go in blind. You would expect people to be decent, honest and sincere. It’s doesn’t always work like that. Take everything as smoke and mirrors until you’ve met the person and spent considerable time with them. I’m talking over 3 months.

You can only steer things into exclusive territory when BOTH of you are convinced that this could be something real and serious.

And that can be done after spending considerable time together and getting to know each other better and you realize that your interests are aligned,, you both want the same thing and you want it with EACH OTHER.

The mistake most girls make on dating apps is that we are quick to place our bets on the first guy who ‘likes us back’, talks to us and plans to meet you with us. We are already seeing him as ‘the one’.

We don’t even stop to consider that he’s also still weighing his options and exploring them all before making a decision. Or that he might not like us as much as we do.

Everyone on dating apps is playing the field and the crazy thing is that there soooo many men and women to choose from, so why should anyone rush to settle when the next best person could be one swipe away. It’s a minefield and sometimes it can be soul sucking. When you’re looking for something serious, the losses outweigh the wins.