Busy BF didn't contact for two weeks

Funny how all these words that you’ve said were the exact thing in my head as well as how I told my BFF.

But when I’m alone at night or driving, stuck in a boring jam… that’s when negative thoughts seep in again. As if a little devil me is whispering to my ears. Then when I pray to God or hearing all these relationship problems from my close friends, this forum etc. I feel appreciative and love him more again! Especially when I sit back and think how’s the time spent with him… and the kind of person he is.

I’m like this crazy girl in love lol.

I will give him space to meet me and then the heart to heart talk.

At the meantime, may I give you a kiss Bedazzle? <3

I had this happen kinda recently – I thought he ghosted but he texted me in 2 weeks apologizing blowing up my phone 6 texts in a row & calling a couple times. Explained the life stress etc. But by that time I had already lost most of my interest. Your guy seems genuinely preoccupied. There’s a difference between someone who’s blowing you off & someone genuinely dealing with something & as you said the best indications of that are not being on social media, not seeing his other friends so in those cases I think it’s OK to cut him some slack

Dior, two weeks is a VERY long time, nobody is THAT busy. If he has time to have coffee he could find time to text you “how you doing, sorry I’ve been out of touch”.

I am not saying you should drop him but you should definitely not overlook his lack of contact with you.

Normally, is it him who always initiates? What is the ratio of contact initiation? If he has been doing 90/10 then maybe he feels neglected and wants you to initiate things. But if not, if you do initiate regularly, then 2 weeks is a very long time.

Do not text him about it, when you have a chance to talk in person, ask him directly, without accusations, and tell him that you are happy to hear from him at any time and that you were wondering if he is ok etc. Let him understand that you want him to contact you, there is no shame in it, most women in your shoes would be quite pissed off by his lack of contact for so long. So do not hide in your shell, your needs are normal. If he is not willing to give what you need, busy or not, then you should start pulling away.

@Bedazzle
Ahh I’m trying… but coming to this forum is like a routine already. Yes, I will send him that flirty text when I’m feeling positively positive again!

@Maria
Our ratio (bf:gf):

90:10 – courtship
80:20 – bf/gf
50:50 – the beginning of his intense schedule
40:60 – during his intense schedule
55:45 – i slowly back away and let him initiate

Which comes to this now. TWO weeks before this TWO weeks of no initiation from him, he would message me every 3-4 days and he was the one who planned the date, which we last met on 23 Mar. I stayed over the night and things were still same, consistently amazing. He’s really tired though, I suggested we go to bed early, but he couldn’t stop making out with me. We were as intimate as usual with no sex, cuddled and talked till 4am. Then the next day after lunch, he sent me off, said he would text me.

Haven’t heard from him since then.

So I sent him a text on 2 Mar night, flirty text + wishing him good luck for the game interview next morning. He was quick and responsive and after a few text, he crashed.

That’s the timeline until today. Nothing from him at all. In which, I feel Blair and Bedazzle really made a point on how he feel that our communcation is fine.

Thank you so much Blair and your boyfriend! I just need to be positive and tell him what’s going on in the BEST way when he comes back to me. If still nothing from him by this Friday, I will send him a text and ask tell him I miss him, want to see him.

I’m still rehearsing!

Just read this long thread and Dior, I must tell you that this is a really long time to have not contacted you. Are you sure he has not been on social media or not met any of his friends? If you are official then I am sure you’ll know his friends and if he has met them. If I were you, I’d send a casual text to him asking him what he is upto and I am sure he will respond to that telling you about what’s keeping him so busy. Then I’d make a plan to see him and tell him that this pattern of communication does not work for me and that I’d like to be in touch more often (Such discussions work better in person)
Good luck! It’ll all be fine! x

Happened the same with me, not once. Today, I would not care about a man, who hasn’t contacted me in 2 weeks. I would not be interested. Unless he sets up a real date with flowers I would not bother :D

A couple of month ago I had almost the same thing with a man, he was older, and he was a gentleman. We met a few times, but talked on the phone for hours, he sent me texts early in the morning, and always wrote me how he misses me. It was weird actually, because we didn’t really know each other. Then it stopped, he didn’t make contact for 3 days, then blew up my phone with texts,(explaining, and giving me compliments) then disappeared for 1 week, then 2, and basically I haven’t seen him for months now :D After his second NC I thought it’s over.

Don’t expect much from him … If it is not ghosting, then it is fading away…

If I didn’t hear from my guy for 2 weeks, I’d be going crazy.

Now webtalk every day so the difference would be staggering.

The longest he’s ever not talked to me was 6 days and I thought it was awful.

If he didn’t talk to me for 2 weeks, he would have something crazy planned to make up for me to still come back to him. I don’t know, not even a ‘good night I’m getting ready to go to bed’ text?

I’m with Maria and everyone else who agrees that two weeks without contact is unacceptable. Unless he’s in the line of duty, traveling without access to technology, or on an otherwise important mission, no man who wants to pursue and lock down a woman willingly goes two weeks without reaching out. He’s either slowly backing away or trying to establish that he has you where and how he wants you and feels no reason to advance the relationship? Why? I don’t know. Perhaps “official” means something different to the two of you, but how would you know if you’re afraid to communicate with him, which is what this all boils down to?

I believe he knows and expects that you won’t bring this up. Not to bring power plays into this, but he has the “upper hand,” so to speak. When you second-guess yourself and try and convince yourself that you’re being insecure, I see where you’re coming from. (And the ladies who chime in with that belief are probably trying to make you feel better or learn not to be “need”). But two days is acceptable, not two weeks. It is not needy to have legitimate needs- and a legitimate need is a healthy level of communication and contact.

Not to play Debbie Downer, but something is likely wrong here or will be. Before jumping to conclusions, though, get some courage and please bring this up to him. Come from a place of love. Start by saying how proud you are of his accomplishments. But if you don’t say you’re not getting what you want, which is more than reasonable, how will you ever grow as a couple?

I’m so sick sometimes of women being advised to shut up and walk on eggshells and pretend as though there are no real issues. That’s how resentment builds up- because we become so hell-bent on “rules” and lose sight of what’s important in the process. People need to grow up. It’s all about delivery. If issues are presented in a non-confrontational way, then that’s a GOOD thing.

Dior I feel for you because when we really really like/love someone we want to always give them the benefit of the doubt. Like some of the other girls say, NO ONE is that busy to send a 2 second text if they care and are thinking about you. Please please do not let him make you look like a fool.

If it was 2-3 days you hadn’t heard from him I would say okay fine don’t text and wait…. But 2 weeks? Come on. Even if you text him and he comes back with this amazing apology and excuse do you really wanna be with someone who will peace out for weeks at a time?? If he’s not the one calling you saying omg I’m so sorry this is why I haven’t been in touch, then I’d be weary of anything he said after you reach out to him.

You’ve been dating for 6 months. It’s not good that you’re not comfortable enough with him to just text him “hey miss you, how’s it been going?”…. I’m so sick of letting guys pull the ghost or fade without calling them out. He owes you some kind of explanation I think.

In my personal opinion from dating lots of different types of men in a big city is that if he hasn’t reached out to you in 2 weeks, something is wrong. Unless he is in a coma, fighting in a war, or dead.. There’s just no excuse to to 2 weeks. Call me crazy but that’s how I feel. Even if he is so busy and his phone broke… Facebook message, have one of his friends text you, email… There’s way too many different ways to get in touch these days to make excuses.

Reality is:

1) he’s ghosting you or pulling a fade on you
2) he really is that busy.. But doesn’t care enough about the relationship to check in with you

I apologize for getting so heated but I’ve been in this position before and I just don’t want you or any woman to be made to look like a fool or put up with someone who isn’t 100% into her.

I agree with the others that say this is too long.

I even asked my boyfriend who’s very busy as well and I’ve seen can often have a one track mind when it comes to his career, he even said this isn’t normal and probably indicative of interest lost.

As I see it when two people are truly invested in a relationship that other person becomes their best friend and their sanctuary of sorts. I know that when life is stressful my boyfriend and I turn to each other for support or relief from whatever is going on.

I just can’t help but think this is a lack of investment on his part that he hasn’t reached out to you in two weeks.

I agree with Mae on women being told not to address things, especially when they warrant addressing. I’m all for being understanding but at what cost? It wouldn’t feel like much a relationship to me if I rarely see or hear from that person.

This is not acceptable. He’s a grown man and he doesn’t realize he needs to contact you regularly? If I were you, I would call him and break up with him. Don’t get into why because then you will sound like you are nagging. Just tell him it’s not working for you and cut it off there. He sounds completely clueless and there are so many great men out there who are relationship ready. This guy sounds like an idiot.

Yes, Dior, can you please let us know if you have any news?