Home › Forums › Did He Lose Interest? › Busy or disappearing?
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tammy.
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Tessa
So I met this guy a few months ago and in the 2 weeks we went on four dates. And then he had to leave for his work that was 2 months ago. In the last two months we texted whenever possible probably for five times a week but in the last two weeks he’s gotten really quiet where he used to initiate conversations with me two or three times a week is dropped down to nothing in the last 10 days. If I text him he is quick to respond and has told me that he hopes to be down where I am in a few weeks to spend a few days and he made it clear he wants to see me while he’s here. This guy has in the past told me that I don’t need to overthink things with him and has warned me when he’s not gonna be able to get back to me so that I don’t think he’s ghosting me. But the last two weeks hear the drastic change in his communication and his emotional distance is making me think he’s disappearing. Or losing interest. He did tell me that he’s working crazy hours and it’s like some night shifts so he’s exhausted, could that be part of it is he just too stressed to make time to talk to me? At this point it’s been four days of no communication with him and I don’t know what to do from here. My gut is telling me just to give him some space and trust that he’s going to come back but if anybody has any words of wisdom I’d happily accepted them.
Khadija
I think you need to focus your efforts elsewhere.
He doesn’t appear available to date, so why wait around?
If you want someone who contacts you when its convenient to them then stick around, otherwise move on to the next.
Unfortunately women, waste a lot of time wondering if a guy is interested and holding to every word that he says. His actions are showing you that he is not really interested.
HS
I’ve been chatting to a man lately. he lives in a town a couple of kms away. we chat on whatsapp daily and most evenings he calls me. i’ve noticed the whatsapp communication going down significantly, and on saturday evening is sent him a nice charming message to which he just didn’t respond at all
so on sunday evening i called him out on his slow fade, and when he said he’s really busy he’ll chat on monday i told him to not bother
so on monday he sent me a few page whatsapp, explaining everything he did on sunday from a long conversation with his mom, to driving 250kms, to putting license plates on his ex’s car, to packing, to assisnting a neighbour with changing her weel…. and on and on and on
my take from this… i sent him a kind caring whatsapp. he was truely busy. he had the time to swap number plates, fix keys, fix tires, etc etc etc. he did not have 10 seconds to respond to a kind caring message from me. proves exactly where i am on his priorities.
so now i only respond if he messages me, when i actually have time (i don’t make time for him anymore) and i keep it very cold and to the point, not volunteering any information or even trying to keep the conversation going
T from NY
The problem with so many women these days (SO many women) is they equate texting and chatting for a relationship. Men put very little stock into verbal exchanges and don’t see you as “special” when they’re chatting you up. What really counts is time spent together. That’s how you know a man is really invested. If a guy is regularly setting up dates, booking you in advance and really wants to do things together besides just sex. Stay away from the ones that leaving you wondering or ones that aren’t following through on their promises. Don’t waste your time.
Liz Lemon
You went on 4 dates with this guy, two months ago, and have not seen him since then? I don’t see the point of continuing this? It sounds like he’s just using you as entertainment (via texting) but doesn’t have serious intentions. And perhaps he’s met someone else he connects with better now, which is why the texting is dropping off.
As for being “too busy” to text, for goodness sake– like HS said, it takes seconds to send a text. No one is too busy to not text someone they care about for days, if they really want to reply. He is just not that interesting in replying to you, because you’re not a priority. And the fact that he hasn’t made time to see you in person in months speaks volumes. I wouldn’t waste my time on this guy. Like Khadija said, focus your efforts elsewhere.
tammy
your wasting your time.
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