Home › Forums › Texting Advice › came back with a lame Hello
- This topic has 16 replies and was last updated 2 years, 6 months ago by
Tammy.
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Emma
How to respond to a ghost who came back with a lame line of Hello. First the story a month ago I dated a guy we were connected through work and really got along. While exclusivity has not been really discussed however everyday we texted up until last week. Texting is very important because we are in different time zones and drafting a plan to see each other was something that occupied my mind, he was more assure we will manage to see each other than I was but he really didn’t discussed details was more interested in see my face than a real and honest talk.
So on Tuesday I called him he texted back saying we will call back it was in the middle of a meeting I said ok, a day goes and the next morning he apologizes he runs his own company and had a big event on Friday, he says it was because of the event the whole time I am thinking I wanted to tell you my plan but only said ok no worries, he calls me back in the middle of the day while driving off work and send me 2 songs from Phill Collins everyday and cant turn back the years.. my hurt melts again (never heard those songs) and on Thursday he says good morning I replied quite happy good morning babe he calls me but I couldn’t pick up when I returned the call he didn’t answer I send him hey quasi perfect are you ok? Text nothing all read no response for the whole Thursday by then I was so pissed I started using my oculus and boxing on Friday he says can I call you I send an audio I can at 8am again listened nothing then I am done with him and the whole situation stop checking my cell my body aches for all the oculus exercises also on Friday…. And then comes Saturday of course he has many status updates in the same group we share he started sharing images of his business event that was a huge success I read and didn’t comment …
Saturday afternoon he says Hello Emma I haven’t officially read it I am baffled of how he used to say all this wonderful things and yet his actions speak louder and it was also my fault he is treating me like a doormat…I should’ve told him that sending a quick let me call you tomorrow would have been better than nothing at all I am overreacting or is this the end and how would you respond if at all ?
Raven
So you let a ghost return & he’s ghosting again… Why?
Emma
yes, i let a ghost return, yet again he ghosted and came back i do not know if i wanted him back in my life and do not know how to proceed so I am not responding either as of now, what would you do? thanks!
Raven
I’d block his Casper @ss, that’s what I’d do!
You don’t need to do anything except move on…
Anon
I would respond- it looks like the event went well- that’s great- and leave it. Let him make plans to meet and if he doesn’t make the plans you are texting buddies only- then block and move on. He may be inconsistent the last few days because of this big event.
tammy
you can try what anon says. but i think its also ok if you ignore and don’t reply to his hello. let him text you again and then see what he says.
Emma
I just followed Anon advice, and responded with Babe thanks I am glad to hear from you (it took me 2 days to respond) he is more chatty but for me he just became a friend and one that does not deserve my full attention… so sad
Anon
Did he say “babe I’m glad to hear from you” or did you say that to him? You should be friendly but allow him to make the plans or “drive the relationship “. That way you will not wonder if he’s interested.
Emma
he said it, however he has made no plan to meet up, and I am officially his strategist and is all about his new challenge or business opportunity. how could you politely say good-bye and good luck?
Tammy
I thnk you need to give up any thoughts u had about you guys getting together. It seems highly unlikely. You need to simply demote him to the category of a casual friend. Respond only if he msgs otherwise dont bother.
Anon
If it’s not going anywhere and you are working with him- then set a boundary of being professional only. No babe and no random texts- only work related texts. I would do what Tammy said and only respond (professionally) if he texts. You don’t need to tell him good bye or anything else.
Emma
Finally, I blocked him … actually regret not having done this earlier… thanks so much for the advice, just to clarify I do not work for him I was used to help him draft documents he gave me compliments but today I just had enough I was swamped with work and he said he was sending me a draft of his own story – the untold version – it could be a book for entrepenuers ( I still believe that ) I gave him serious comments -took time from my scarce time and while I did manage to finish my own work I almost late. Yet he doesnt even say thanks nor even respond to my messages… also while reading his bio I realized it is all about himself his ego is huge. Blocking is perfect because I dont need him taking my time and the stress of knowing he is ignoring me YET if only I could tell him how much he messed it up all his strikes and flaws because in a date he told me didnt have any and I responded the fact that you cant identify it is a flaw in itself…. the question is would you write him a letter and explain it all or would that be even worst? Does by blocking him, I shown him that I am inmature? I feel he is such a narcissist that he could not even tell why would I block him :/
lane
Emily, stop expending so much energy on men. Let it go, and just go on with your awesome life :o)
Raven
Please do not write to him & explain… Be done with him & move on.
Mary
I agree with Lane. Focus all of your energy on yourself. It will bring the right guy into your life.
Anon
Blocking him is fine- if people irritate you through their texting- block them. Set the boundary and move on.
Tammy
Its not about being immature. Sometimes to cut off certain people, we either ignore them or we block them. Whatevr suits you is fine. You dont hv to give explanations or justifications to anyone and certainly not him. Just refocus on self and move on.
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