Came on too strong, now what?

Do not send that text. He knows you like him because you have been pursuing him. It was only one date and learly he isn’t interested in you. Sending that message will just result in you being taken advantage of and he will keep you on the back burner if he has no one else to get attention from.

Whatever you do, DO NOT SEND THAT MESSAGE.

If you have already admitted to over reaching out why send that?

You’ve only gone out on a few dates with him so what is there to fix?

When you first meet someone anything can happen so try not to get overly excited or invested.

He may be dating others or didn’t feel the connection as you did. Whatever the case may be just go about your day and keep meeting people.

Above all learn a lesson for next time, let the guy lead and stop all the texting.

Absolutely do not send that text. Men are not like women. They dont want you to TALK about being different. They just want you to BE different. Also important to remember — a man who is REALLY into you or really into to finding a relationship is not gonna get scared off by you acting a little silly! Even needy (if it’s not crazy needy)

This guy has low interest. Is there a chance that he’s just taking some space because you acted a little too enthusiastic and so he’s backing off? And maybe will come back later? Yes. That’s possible. But beware. Even if he comes back he might disappear again. Because men who like you generally do NOT stop talking to you.

Just forget this guy. Live your life. If he comes back — act calm. Be pleasant but not excitable. Stay busy. Do not let him occupy too much of your brain. Either way — figure out a way to be at peace without a man and ONLY spend energy on dudes spending energy on you.

@Dani
The issue in *this specific instance with a casual text is the OP described that she has historically been the main one to reach out — so much in fact that she thinks she may have “over reached out”. This creates a bad mind set for her to be in. She is putting too much energy into someone who is not investing even close to the same amount. Also — let’s be real. This wouldn’t be a “casual text” because she’s upset enough about losing association with this guy that she’s writing into a dating forum about it! So it is not authentic labeling it as casual.

Of course things don’t alway have to be on some hard fast timetable and relationships that work out don’t alwaya follow the guidelines and rules prescribed in this forum. But I feel confident that in this particular situation you have a classic example of a woman meets a guy who she begins to idolize and daydream about and the man has low interest. Sending AnoTheR text isn’t gonna change any of that.

I stand by my advice that OPs focus should be on herself. Not a man who rarely reaches out and has shown very little interest.

If you think your attempt at flirting was cringe worthy, well I cringed at the text you want to send this guy! Think about what you’re saying here. You haven’t talked to this guy in a week and you want to send him an apology text in a week or so if you haven’t heard from him? So 2 weeks of silences and then you want to apologize? Just exactly what are you apologizing for here? You don’t say you’ve been blowing up his phone or double texting, and he’s been responsive when you reached out. The problem is that you are having to reach out to him and he’s not showing interest and he’s disappeared. This is incredibly normal when you’ve only been on a couple of dates with someone. You are both feeling each other out to see if you see a fit for a relationship. And if one of you doesn’t see it then it doesn’t continue. Odds are you are going to experience this many times before you meet a suitable man for a long term relationship.

You say it’s your first time dating so it will take you some time to realize when a man is really interested in you. Heck there are grown women on this site who have yet to figure it out so don’t feel bad. :)

T from NY,

The drama, the drama, omg the drama. IF the OP decides to send ONE text, it is simply that, ONE TEXT. That one text is symbolic of feelings, but setting things up as if it some dire situation is a bit extreme. How is anyone realistically supposed to put dating and all its trials and tribulations in perspective if the message being sent is that even a hello text is loaded down with 1,000 pounds of unnecessary meaning about self-worth and implied as being radical?

“This wouldn’t be a “casual text” because she’s upset enough about losing association with this guy that she’s writing into a dating forum about it!”

And?

Do you know for CERTAIN what the OP can handle or not handle? Give people some credit for being able to navigate their way through their own affairs even if they write into a dating forum along the way. She can choose to take whatever view resonates with her. It doesn’t have to be yours and it doesn’t have to be mine.

Give the OP some credit for knowing her personal boundaries… whether they be contacting him or not.

The OP went on a few dates with him. He dropped off. Fair enough to make the case that says all she needs to know and to let sleeping dogs lie. It’s also fair enough to make the case there isn’t some long history fraught with baggage between the two of them where saying hi would have disastrous emotional repercussions or tip the scale for lifelong imbalance.

Lighten up

This is a three year old thread. How do people find three year old threads?