Can a guy change his mind from wanting only FWB?

This man is being very clear with you. If you enter and think you can change him, you are falling into the trap of thinking you will be an exception to the rule. You never are. Women are not exceptions to men’s rules. Men decide to change and then date the next one the comes along who did not take the crumbs she was give. Who are you, a crumb taker or a loaf taker? Don’t make his crumb a loaf, you will end up hungry and sad.

Men don’t change their mind and you will drive yourself crazy and look low status in trying.

Thanks, yeah i think you guys are right. Assuming the whole still wanting to be friends even if i don’t want to do stuff is bs? Lol. How do you think i should approach it? Tell him no but i don’t mind being just friends?

Who knows if it is BS or not? If you like him as a person, and can stay away from funny business, then just make it clear you are just friends. Otherwise, just be less available and fade out or tell him you don’t need more friends…

Hannah – there are no absolutes.

I’m sure there are some cases where folks have FWB relationships and do actually care about each other…but I haven’t seen one personally. Some of the women here may have had them. I just think in this case – that’s what it sounds like, but only you know the entire situation and can make those types of calls.

Usually, it’s a relationship where the girl is just settling for it because he won’t commit – even if she doesn’t admit it to herself.

A FWB relationship is for people who are very mature emotionally and mentally, and do not have ANY romantic feelings for each other.

Red! I’ve never heard it described like that, but I think in my head that’s how I think of it.

So they can have sex with you and you can’t get mad because you ‘agreed’ to a FWB relationship.

Ladies, not ALL FWBs are the same so don’t paint them all with the same brush. I do agree that the two parties must emotionally mature and not be looking for anything deeper than a superficial friendship that may or may not include spending time doing non sexual things while also doing sexual things.

I’ve had two FWBs and they were/are perfect for me at this point in time in my life (long marriage with two adult sons). The first was a couple years after my divorce where I still had absolutely NO DESIRE to be in another relationship and we would ‘hook up’ once a month (if I wasn’t busy) as he lived in another state and came to my city a few days. It worked perfectly for me, no attachments and freed me up to do what I want, when I want, anytime I wanted. After a year got bored, ended it and never spoke again…easy peasy.

My current one is totally OPPOSITE! He acts more like a BF than a friend as he lives close by and over the course of the past 16 months has continually made majority of the contact and scheduling of dates 1-2 times a week along with romantic getaways. I know he likes me more than I do him, whereas he’s the one who been more emotional at times and displaying his feelings but I refuse to take the bait. I don’t want anything serious, don’t want a BF and don’t see him in my future so I like it the way it is…easy peasy.

Now there are some very small cases where it can evolve into a relationship, but that has more to do with the man than the woman. A man initially may not think he wants a relationship and then finds himself falling in love with the FWB. Its super rare though and I think in these cases the man was ready and really liked her but trying to avoid his true feelings and eventually can’t lie to himself or her any longer.

Please be very clear that this is NEVER the path I would personally take with a man if I was wanting something more, e.g. a relationship. You need to be REAL with yourself because if your just pretending to not want something then an FWB will backfire you in a very bad way. Take him at his word and never engage sexually with a man if you like him more than he likes you…its a road map to heartache!

It sounds like you really like him and you’re not going to be able to compartmentalise things if you enter a FWB. If you want a FWB, fine, but this is not the guy to do it with. If you want to be his friend then do that, but I think with the way you feel, even a friendship with this guy is going to leave you wanting more. It might not be what you want to hear but if I were you id keep my distance from this guy and try to put a stop to your feelings for him.

I have a FWB and it only works as I am fully aware he is not boyfriend material. I know he only sees me in this way too so there’s no point even thinking of going down that road. It’s purely fulfilling a need. Nothing more, nothing less.

FWB totally work, but only if you are really on the same page. Same needs and wants. It is not an entry way into a relationship….

I don’t exactly have a normal FWB but a few of my exes and possibly my girlfriend. I might go into a time with them that was role play sex. or others exes and no I might video chat on skype and they masturbate to me stripping. It’s not a normal time and I like the the chatting because I can do more rules with it. I even had been a mistriss to two guys thats a FWB and a half. I mainly those type that I may not even be attracted to. I know it’s weird but it’s no strings attached some even like that scrap and when I’m not in the mood or am with somone I say no some beg like puppies others are like ok. One I do it because the poor girl would be who I’d go for if I didn’t have the one I’m with now. Bless her heart I’d like to shoot all her exes her newst ones especally. A poor singaporan girl whos shy and abused she knows my feelings and never begs me for anything.