Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Can a guy fake affection or do they confuse it with physical attraction?
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Mara.
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Mara
Hi girls,
Can a guy fake affection?
I met a guy that is really attractive. We went on “two dates” and had a good time, we have things in common and we laugh a lot. He knows i’m dating other guys and I know he started dating a girl. We are not compatible in more meaningful things like he doesn’t like to take risks in relationship and thinks things through a lot. Me, on the other side, I’m more impulsive.
Like I said this guy is really attractive. We kissed in the second date and it was amazing. I saw him yesterday and we saw a movie in my house. Nothing happened. So I asked him if he was weirded out about our third date, he told me that he didn’t wanted to assume anything and that he wasn’t sure if I wanted as a friend( We discussed our other dates) I told him I was seeing what happens. He knows I want something more serious and he said that he can’t rush into things because it has happened in the past and that he doesn’t want anyone to get hurt. I told him I didn’t wanted to stop seeing the other guys but that I wasn’t going to get intimate with him, because we weren’t sure of what we wanted.
We started kissing and he was really affectionate. He caressed my hair a lot and gave me kisses in my face. The kisses were passionate but also very sweet, he kissed me on my belly and in my forehead a couple of times. He caressed my hair a lot and stared at me a couple of times with a smile. He was smiling and I asked him if he was laughing about my messy hair- he said he was happy- although things got pretty heated he didn’t undressed me and interrupted things to help me with a uni work he knew I was working on.
After that we kissed a bit. We kissed passionately goodbye and that was it.
He was really affectionate, like my boyfriends haven’t kissed me so much or with so much affection. He really took the time and the kisses were sweet although they were passionate. Can he be faking it? He has expressed a couple of times that he thinks I’m really attractive, could it be that? Also, he asks me a lot about my other dates but that could be his ego. He texts everyday and asks me about the things I’m doing, remembers what i say and asks how things went if I tell him something particular. He is really attractive so maybe he has master his kissing skills to make girls feel special?
thanks girls!
funnychan
Big bonus when a guy is a great kisser. It does not mean anything. He is a good kisser and make-outer.
hannah
What you’re describing isn’t affection. It’s a guy getting “amorous” with you! No faking needed, I’m sure he was enjoying himself but it means nothing when it comes to any emotional attachment.
Someone
Some guys are just really good at that stuff and others try to just fumble through it. Being attractive might mean that he’s had a heap more practice than other guys you’ve dated.
Mara
You guys are right!
Anon
Men know how women interpret actions like a kiss on the forehead, gentle caresses et cetera. The players fine tune their “game” by incorporating those types of actions. The flip side is the genuinely adoring lover also does that.
Lena
He’s trying to seduce you. That’s what I think it means.
Chloe
It’s weird because I agree with you all but he also texts a lot, it’s interested in things I do and since he majored in what I’m studying helps me with a class I’m struggling with.
It can be a lot of things…maybe he just thinks I’m attractive and he is just nice with people. I don’t know. The only thing i do know is he isn’t sure and that’s what I should believe. To be fair, I’m not sure either.
I forgot to say we agreed yesterday to keep dating other people and see what happens with us.
Mara/chloe
Ops…mess it up with the name.
So, update.
He texted me to invite me to go out of ice cream this week.
kaye
The guy is attracted to you, but because you two are seeing other people and he knows you aren’t going to get intimate with him, he is being slow and affectionate with his advances. I think that’s sweet but don’t read any more into it than that. You know he’s dating another girl and he’s said he doesn’t want to rush things and for anyone to get hurt. Big red flag for me when a guy says he “doesn’t want to hurt you.” Just take things slow. Continue to date others and see how this develops. It already seems like you may be ignoring the fact that you two don’t seem to be compatible because this guy is attractive. Don’t ignore too many red flags in the beginning or you’ll be kicking yourself later.
Teri
hey this so sounds like my new guy of 3 months. our third date I allowed a kiss and some touchy feely and I was quite pleased to say the least. All the things you describe is what my guy does physically and he really knows how to arouse me in all the right places. We are intimate now and he never fails to hit the right spots to get my juices flowing over and over again.
SO I have the same question you did, is he just real good at this and knows what to do? He seems so well versed, and well trained and very hospitable.
But if I understand these posts I/we shouldn’t take too much thought with all of this huh?
Maria
He clearly is attracted to you and likes you. Take it slow and enjoy. You are dating others and he does the same. Many things can happen, if you like him and you feel he likes you, then you’d want to stop all this multi-dating sooner than later. But before you start this conversation, try to prompt (bait) him into starting it. Think of how to do it best.
Mara
It’s confusing for sure. He is texting me right now, asking me about my day… I think the best option here is to not think about it too much and see what happens.
Mirroring his actions also could work. He is a great kisser but I don’t want to have sex with him any time soon. That might also be helpful to discover his intentions…
It’s just so amazing how guys can sometimes make you feel like they really, really cared. I just don’t want to get hurt.
kaye
Teri,
I think your situation is totally different. You can’t compare a 3 month relationship with date 3!! Like you say, some guys are just well trained and well versed. I dated this one guy I met online for about 6 weeks and on the very first date he kissed me on the forehead and as things progressed he knew all the right things to do to get me going as you say. Some guys are really good at that. They have the experience, they know what women like from previous feedback and they pay attention.
Speaking of paying attention, my boyfriend is very good looking and I know he has experience with women since his divorce and it definitely shows in our sex life. It only took him a few weeks to figure out things about me that took my ex husband years!! :)
Just remember, great sex and chemistry is awesome, but it’s that emotional connection outside the bedroom that gets guys attached to you.
Mara
i agree. So far we text a lot, have a similar sense of humor and things in common. The problem is that im more impulsive and romantic and He is more rational.
Let’s see what happens…
Sarah
My FWB does this.
Kisses me on the forehead all the time, especially during sex. Sometimes he will grab my hand and kiss it, and just hold it there. Physically there is no difference between him, and a boyfriend. Even in public, say the supermarket he will place his arm around my hips or kiss me.
But he is my FWB, we have had talks that we both are getting jealous when we see that the other person is dating. I think he likes me a lot more then he lets on.
So to answer your question… I think when a guy acts like this, no he’s not faking it. But don’t just relay on this, communication is important.
SthrnBelle
Not faking it and in my opinion not just being good at it either but because of fear sometimes I think these guys do not make the best partners but then you never know. He may come around. You are doing well dating others as well and seeing what will happen, I am glad that you can be so relaxed, so far so good.
Mara
Thanks sthrnBelle!
Sarah, you’re right, we will see what happens. If something comes out of this, communication is key.
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