Can I tell him I want to see him more?

You can ask, for sure. However, men do what they want. So, it is good to make the request, but he might not change. You need to consider what will happen if he does not do it. Ask once, see if he does it, if it does not stick, you will need to end it or accept it…

How often do you see each other and how often would you like? I’m just curious… I agree with you, it might come off as needy to some men… Some men would take what you said and be flattered and make an effort but yeah, hard to know which ones would and which wouldn’t.

If this is how it’s going at 2 months and you’re not exclusive, you’re on thin ice by bringing up seeing each other more.

Remember that so called clueless guys catch a clue pretty quick when they meet a girl they want to keep around.

I’m reading a book at the moment called Women who love too much… One part of the book says this:

Early in each relationship there was an initial high a feeling of euphoria and excitement while she believed that finally her deepest needs for love, attention and emotional security might be met. Believing this, Jill became more and more dependent on the man and the relationship in order to feel good. Then, like an addict who must use a drug more a it produces less effect, she was driven to pursue the relationship harder as it gave her less and less satisfaction and fulfilment. Jill slavishly dogged her man, needing more and more contact, more reassurance, more love as she received less and less.

If you are like Jill then no you shouldn’t ask to see him more as it won’t satisfy you anyway.

Stefanie it’s actually been 3.5 months we’ve been dating, not 2.

TallSpicy that might be a good way to broach it, just like lighthearted, etc.

The thing is, I really do know he works a ton. He’s a very honest, open man. I usually know for the most part what he’s doing when he’s not with me. He’s not amazing at text, but he’s very open with communication and sharing what he’s up to. He’s not private. He works a 60+ week job, and then does a side job as well, and still makes it consistent to spend SOME time with me no matter what (has only cancelled two dates with me and has always made sure it wasn’t last minute, both due to work). I just feel that at this point it shouldn’t be so platued in how much time we spend together, it should be progressing, and we should be spending more time together (more nights together too), and because this is where you decide how serious things are getting. I don’t want to seem pushy or needy at all though either.

I’ve “showed him my crazy” a couple times too and he’s acted great, patient, with me, even found it amusing. So i just want to tread lightly with this.

It’s not a short term thing, he works in finance :/ but some weeks are better than others. some weeks he has a lot more free time. and I know, i feel like there should be some more clarity at what’s going on, but I don’t want to push him! I actually get more clarity by what I hear from others which is awful! (he randomly brings his sister to a party to meet me with no heads up, she tells me all these things she heard about me; he tells my friend he talks to his parents about me all the time; little things he randomly tells me; i make a joke and he reacts a certain way to it). it’s so weird. just when i’m about to pull the plug, it’s like i was totally wrong. i think our communication styles are very very different or something. (can you tell i’m a little frustrated?)

stefanie, i like the praise idea. just stay level headed, cool, praise, say what i want, without seeming needy….

I also remember at the 6 month mark asking my bf to pin down a day of the week that we would definitely meet each other. I know he had to move around some of his classes but he agreed.

I chose to increase the times a week I see my bf simply because telling him and showing him seemed to work out different. So if I know I”m in his area on weekends for lunchtime I call and let him know and he usually can get out a few hours to spend. Other times in the evening if I leave work early for some appt at the hospital where he works or nearby I let him know the day before and he usually is accommodating.
Otherwise he simply is at my house 1-2x a week when he’s off his shift which is usually late into the night.

I don’t think its a bad thing to ask, but at this stage he should be naturally seeing you at whatever pace has been set IMHO. I remember at this juncture 3.5 months we were at a ‘slow’ down in his industry so our time together was more than normal. As time went on, we got back into our swing of life and while I’d like to see him more, I dont’ think I’d have the time being a single parent myself with two kids with heavy extracurricular activities.

I’d take the advise of Sherri, her first paragraph pretty much describes what I do and as a result it has increased our time together. Altho not every week but more often than before. Like this week I know my kids will be with their dad one eveing and I have a few hours on another night where they’re with a sitter, so I’ll probably tell him to save his evening (at least few hours) for us to grab a bite then he can resume his shift —or something like that.

I guess it also depends on what your relationship goals are, marriage? living together? etc these all make a difference. In my case neither of those are on the table so I dont’ have a ‘where is this going” situation.

I wouldn’t ask for this. If a guy wants to see you more often, he’ll ask or make you understand that. Does he say things like “you can call me anytime”, “let me know if you need anything”. If he does, then he wants you to reach out to him more often and probably feels that he is doing all the work.

If you want to try and see him more often, then at the end of a date, suggest that you two do something together soon. But it has to be a specific thing, like a concert that you found out about or a dinner with friends if he’d like to come. Do it a couple of times and see if he’d reciprocates. Guys get those hints very quickly, so if he doesn’t up his game, then you’d know for sure that he is not interested in increasing the pace.