Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Can she forgive?
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 1 year, 4 months ago by
Khadija.
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Anon
Ok so here goes. Been with ex partner for 5 years, share a 3 year old boy who’s our world (have an 8 year old from previous marriage). Around two weeks ago she ended it due to a disagreement at bbq and then explained she dreads weekends with my eldest, got upset and said we’ll never work. She came back day later to get her things and moved to her Mum and Dads with our youngest. Told me it’s over and she’ll never get back with me.
For the whole of the next week got morning how did you sleep texts, how’s your day been…but when I pushed, she said she felt I was putting pressure on her to change her mind and she told me to not do it.
On to Friday, I came home from work early as I couldn’t cope- she came round, we talked and she confirmed it was done and then I did the stupid guy thing of trying to be logical, think about the kids etc etc. I then lost the plot and ashamed to say I told her if she went I wouldn’t be here and that I’d kill myself. I then continued for an hour or so with her staying saying she is scared, youngest was asleep for most part. She then went to leave with him, I went to car begged her to keep him with me, went to cuddle him and took him back in house leaving her upset outside.
Police called, welfare check on me, her sisters fella and dad came to get youngest, police left, all calmed down. I went to get help and told her, she was pleased- allowed me to have youngest and when she picked up told me I looked much better than on Friday.
Spoke to her on Monday after, clearly angry said there is no way ever we’ll get back together. Since then, I’m getting daily texts again off her, keeping me updated about youngest, and she’s continuing to say that she’d like to do things with him such as days out- even suggesting looking at Christmas events.
I’ve given notice on the house we shared as she’d asked me to- moved all my stuff out and told her, she said she was pleased I managed to get sorted, and that she’s pleased we can still get on.
Am I deluding myself that we can slowly rebuild after the trauma and the dust settles? That we’ll spend time coparenting and I’ll prove over time that I’m the man she fell in love with?
Ewa
I think she was thinking about leaving you for some time, so chances of you going back together are pretty slim. Sadly it must be hard to stay in touch with her but you have a child so there is no other option.
Raven
She has a problem with your oldest child (from a different relationship)?
Natz
So what was the real reason she decided to break up? How have your relationship been leading up to her decision?
We need to know THAT to understand your chances here.mama
Dang, if anyone had a problem with my kid from a previous relationship I would end it myself, not wait for her to make an excuse.
You are heartbroken, that’s understandable. But she has issues with your other little kid, you threaten to kill yourself upon her leaving — you both sound very codependent right now. The best thing you can do is let her go.
Before you even consider any possible reunion, you really do need to work on YOU — figure out your self with some hard internal introspection, maybe with therapy. Then evaluate what’s best for you and your kids.
Khadija
She’s been looking for a reason to end things for a while. Often times people check out way before they actually end things, If she is dreading spending time with your oldest she’s not for you. You are a packaged deal. Take care of yourself and seek some therapy.
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