Can’t get over him!!!

You guys probably won’t believe me, but what I’m hoping for at this point is for us to never talk again and I’m able to move on. I wish the gf well and hope she finds someone that treats her better. And I hope my ex has learned a lesson and won’t cheat on anyone again.

I’m surprised that you didn’t include them both in the same message…

Agreed, Lala. I’m just done. It’s hard to explain how emotionally taxing it is – for everyone involved.

And no fires – geez – anonymous emails are about as far as I’d ever go. And if I wasn’t dealing with nice, sane peeps, even that would be a no

*you say

Aimee, you’re not done.
I’ll await the next update…

He would have told me or ghosted me. He’s brought up the ski trip repeatedly since then. No drama on his end.

And for those wondering, no I haven’t talked to him since the last email. Don’t know for sure but I have a feeling she hasn’t told him.

It’s very unlikely that she didn’t/doesn’t know he cheats. Women who are that close to a man tend to know. The reason she stays are no one’s business but her own and that may be why he stays with HER…he’s a serial cheater and for whatever reason, she looks the other way. Or allows herself to be sweet talked into staying. I doubt anything you said or did changed that, but IMO, your behavior seriously lowered your value in those moments. Not judging…we’re all human and I’ve done my share of ridiculous things when a man was involved. I just think that once you’ve put some distance between yourself and the situation, you’ll cringe at how you handled it.

On the surface, I agree that the gf needed to know and do what she would with the information. However, this rarely works out well for the person who tells. I found out the husband of a good friend was cheating on her (not with me). I struggled with it for a while and finally decided to tell her because I believed that if the situation was reversed, I would be more upset with her for not telling me than telling me. So I told her and provided evidence. She was shocked, but thanked me. Now? They are still together and we are no longer friends. Women tend to “know” and some choose to ignore it. Forcing it into the light rarely results in anything positive, for anyone.

Women don’t come here to post questions because they understand men or know how to have good relationships. What Aimee did isn’t cool and she knows it. She came here for help, not so a bunch of self righteous B’s with too much time on their hands can boost their egos by putting her down. Just saying.

In my experience if you’re going to blow the whistle on a cheat to his GF or wife, you have to be prepared to lose her as a friend or if you are just acquaintances that she won’t believe you and will cut you off. Chances are slim you’ll be believed and actually thanked for it.

Aimee burned the bridge behind her so she can’t go back to him because of what she did. Maybe it was the wrong thing to do, I don’t know, but at least the benefit to her is she is definitely done and maybe this woman will wake up and get out. But if she’s financially dependent on him and only a GF, not likely. I’m amazed at the capacity women have to turn a blind eye to a cheat when there’s money on the line and she’d have to go out and take care of herself when she’s used to be taken care of.

Aimee learned a tough lesson here and hopefully will act better in the future.

Also, I agree with Cindy. Aimee has a history with this guy. He more than likely ended the relationship without closure the first time and that is why she feels compelled to pursue him. I agree that her methods are not right, but let’s not act like men don’t use women and leave them confused and more likely to do wrong in the wake of emotional turmoil.

I hope that things work out for you. My ex broke off our engagement by text and blocked my number. He initiated most calls, so his extreme unnecessary methods did cause me to send two texts (very short texts) from a texting app, two short e-mails, and then one final letter that nicely explained my feelings with no blame on him (even though he really was the one who went out of his way to create problems in the relationship). He had closure on his end and then ran off not allowing me closure, so I felt that some speaking up (politely) was allowed on my end.

I backed off because I want him to feel that it is safe to return and that he will not be bombarded with questions. However, I also backed off for my own good as well. I deserve to be strong and to live unaffected as he is (pretending) doing. I am now in a huge international pageant and if I win, it will be good for me and also, his loss!

I know, Aimee, how difficult it is to move on when you live someone and the relationship dissolves with one person already reaching for the next thing while the other is depressed and confused, but things will get better.

Thank you… Your Prince Charming is looking for you too!

Wait.
Did you expect her to contact you back Aimee, after the email?! No way that’s ever going to happen.

She’s probably addressed it with her boyfriend, but you’ll never know as he’s not ever going to contact you again either.

Which was your goal.
No contact ever again.
Mission accomplished.