Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Can’t get over him!!!
- This topic has 296 replies and was last updated 5 years, 7 months ago by
Louise.
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Aimee
Thanks. I know. Of course there’s more to the story. My husband and I have been on and off for about a year. I cheated on him after years of unhappiness which released a huge amount of chemicals which I mistakenly mistook for love and an overwhelming need to get out of the marriage. I think I might have limerence. During this time, there’s been a few guys including my ex. Every time I try again with my husband, I get overwhelming anxiety and revert back to these guys. Primarily my ex. Our wealth allows me the opportunity to partake in these activities out of state and unfortunately the time to ruminate on it all. So that’s where I’m at. As my therapist says, a bit lost at the moment. I’m working on it I guess.
anonymous
Haha, get a job then.
I also think that this whole thread is BS.
Aimee
Why? Just because I’m married with money? Some people have that you know. Unhappiness runs deep in my circle.
Ya, working on developing a career again… Parents, therapist and now husband are all strongly pushing it.
anonymous
No, not because you are wealthy and married. If you think that is the only thing you wrote that may be considered BS, you are seriously delusional.
anon
Pathological and sadly attention seeking. I’m sure if your therapist read this thread with the surprise ending he/she would agree.
Newbie
If what youre saying is true then i think you are simply bored, feeling a void and zero pride in actually being meaningful in some way. All you do is run after flings to fill that void.
Work and volunteering can be really fullfilling in finding purpose, selfesteem and pride. Try it. You can hug babies in a hospital, pet dogs. Endless oppurtunities that might actually be satisfyingAimee
Thanks, Newbie, for the suggestions. Yes, I’m just trying to fill voids with these guys who serve as a distraction from my real problems. My best friend said the same thing too – she thinks I’m just bored and lacking fulfillment in my life. I’ve been in a really weird head space – obviously. The guys and the subsequent release of dopamine etc has really put me in a different frame of mind. Only recently, as I disconnect from my ex, have I started to feel a little more normal. Hard to describe.
Aimee
“ It feels a lot better than trying to litterally fill yourself with someone else’s man” – you weren’t trying but that did make me lol
I don’t know if my husband is cheating but we’re not having sex. I think he’s more asexual. He says I’m beautiful but yet he doesn’t want to have sex and has told me it’s just not there for him on multiple occasions. Which isn’t exactly a confidence boost. And explains why I’m looking outside my marriage to fulfill my needs. My therapist said my somewhat obsessive attitude with men can be common in women in my shoes… The men take on an almost savior-like role to get women out of their current situation. So, yes, I completely get the bs comments but my words weren’t exactly untrue. I wanted to be with my ex. He’s the first person to make me feel anything in years. It’s all sort of sad.
anon
You are excellent at rationalizing and justyfying your poor choices and putting the blame on others. There is something really unsettling about this thread.
Anyway, I hope you will get better eventually.
Pearl
LOL Shout out to all of those who came on here jumping to this narcissists defence!!!
Maybe if you all stop replying to this lunatic this thread will finally die….
Until she posts another story under a different name.
Aimee
Our problems started years before I cheated… When I mentioned an open marriage last weekend, I was only talking about him. I said I was ok with him being with other women. I don’t know if that’s a solution for us. Maybe? The marriage isn’t bad besides that.
Better off Single
[deleted]
Aimee
He can divorce me anytime. That’s not his choice.
I wish I did have an intimate relationship with him. Don’t we all want that?
We’re going to counseling now. Working on it I guess. Have been working on it. Not much has changed honestly since we got married which was a long time ago. We’ve been at a crossroad the past year. I don’t know what the future holds for us. I wish I wasn’t reaching out to others to fill voids in my life but here I am. I don’t know. About anything.
Pearl
Agree with Anon “You are excellent at rationalizing and justyfying your poor choices and putting the blame on others” Spot on.
Dear Better Of Single you are clearly far too simple to realise what narcissistic behaviour is. This is absolute classic.
I don’t come on here to put women down but this thread needs to come to an end…No I don’t have to read it and actually I don’t really especially the verbal diarrhoea that comes from you BOS but every time I come on it’s at the top of the thread list so I can’t help but check in on what BS Aimee has come back with next.
You need help Aimee. Really you do. This is serious psychotic behaviour.
Honeypie
So now you have a husband ? Oh please 😂this has to be made up or you’re just plain self absorbed. How miserable you must feel in your self made world of contradictions and hypocrisy
Danita
I really like how the story changes and develops depending on what other people write in their responses.
The Real Aimee
If anything, this has toned down the negative rhetoric on this site. In general, the tone seems much softer. Although it seems like some people are just looking for an excuse… Right, Pearl?
Love & light, ladies… Thanks for the advice and sorry for the partial disclosure. Marriages are too complex and ever-changing to really gain much insight on an online forum.
Be well.
Aimee
To answer your question, no it’s not the money. I made more money than he did when we first started dating. The wealth that we have accumulated has partially been through joint business ventures. As I said, marriage is complex…
Some of your other insights are correct, though.
xyz
“Character, the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life, is the source from which self-respect springs.”
Aimee
…to free us from the expectations of others, to give us back to ourselves — there lies the great, the singular power of self-respect. Without it, one eventually discovers the final turn of the screw: one runs away to find oneself, and finds no one at home.
Honeypie
Well Aimee there sure is no one in your home as you are out laying other women’s men then trying to show those women what losers they are with. Losers your sleeping with, hoping to win the prize to make you feel better. Get over it. Everyone’s bored now.
anonymous
That is not true, many people, like me, are interested and definitely not bored. I am waiting and wonder what will be next. The ex coming back? The girlfriend responding? Avoodoo ritual of cooking a bunny in front of children? Skiing together combined with some ayahua sca halucinations? The options are endless
Raven
My money is on having boiled rabbit for supper…
Padmini
If I were the Girlfriend, my only response would be to contact your Husband with the screenshots you sent her as a recourse for getting you off the backs of me & my Boyfriend! ;)
Aimee
You all don’t realize Padmini is the smartest one here… That move was cavalier on a lot of fronts. She could have forwarded my husband the email… if she could track down his address. But like not telling my ex, it’s not a strong possibility… Maybe it has something to do with her hippie ways. This girl is such a mystery to me.
I won’t lie. I’ve thought about telling my ex at the end of our ski trip if I go. Just to see his reaction. ‘You’re the only one that doesn’t know that she know…’ Highly doubt I’d actually do it though. That bunny stuff you’re all talking about could happen to me… You never know what people will do when they’re angry enough.
I guess I’m into drama. I want to blow up my whole life because I lack the strength to change things the right way. Reminds me of when my ex said part of why he met up that first weekend was to see how he felt about his gf after… See if he wanted to break up with her or not. Bs all around.
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