Home › Forums › Decoding His Signals / How Does He Feel About Me? › Can't work out gym crush
- This topic has 9 replies and was last updated 2 years, 9 months ago by Kamdy.
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Hanna_85
Hi ladies, what are your thoughts on this guy I have been speaking to…
There’s a super hot guy at my gym and in a really bold move, I introduced myself when I saw him outside of the gym in Jan. I’ve been told I’m pretty but honestly this guy is way out of my league.
A few days after I’d introduced myself he came over to the cleaning station next to where I was working out and started chatting to me. There was another cleaning station he could have gone to the same distance away. After that, we exchanged a few hello’s but I didn’t go up to him as he was usually with friends. The next interaction was when I went to the water cooler and he then queued up behind me. I stopped to chat, joked a bit about our workouts and he suggested we ‘train together’ some time. We then said a few ‘hi’s’ next time we saw each other and a few times he worked out really close to me on his own (on equipment I never see him use usually) but didn’t chat to me. I went over to him at the end of last month when I saw he was on his own and we had a quite lengthy convo where he asked me about my house move (will i still go to the same gym, where am i moving to etc) and told me he had just moved, he told me about his job and travel. I said something about being a good cook and he said, “I need to invite you over!”. I asked “when are we gonna have our training session then” and he said “i was waiting for you to say!” so I suggested he take my number to arrange it. He took it and said he’d text me later.
He text me that evening, and when I said I’d been packing he joked ‘Next time I’m packing I need to ask you over!”. He asked me a Q about my job, which I answered the next day as his last was sent late and then he literally did not reply for TWO WEEKS when he then randomly sent me a text saying “Missed me in the gym?”. I replied after a day and he text back straight away with some pics saying he had been on a family holiday.
After he sent messages about his hol, I tried to ask a few more q’s as it felt like he wanted to chat. He told me what he’d been doing and sent some pics of places he’d been. But he didn’t ask me any questions. I didn’t reply to his last text which was just a reply to something I’d said.
A few days later I text ‘Try not to miss me in the gym too much this week’. He said “I’ll try not to miss you too much. But I’m getting withdrawal symptoms now” (I’m not sure if he meant me or the gym!?). He then said I’m missing his tan and sent me one of those pics you can only view once – it was him in his boxers in front of a mirror, with a hoodie on but his trousers were around his ankles, to show me his tan lines on his legs. Let’s just say you could not miss his package! I replied with the eyes emoji and he sent a few other pics of what he had been doing but again, literally no q’s to me and kinda got to the point of a few messages where he was sending laughing emojis in reply to things I said.
That’s kind of the cycle of our texting so far. He was the last to reply (emojis only) on Tuesday so I didn’t bother responding and he’s not text since (today is Sat). It’s not like we met on a dating app, but I think it’s obvious I like him esp given know I’ve been the one to text him a Q every few days. I don’t understand if he likes me or not. He’s kind of flirty and he replies within 10 mins if I text and shares pics but doesn’t ask me questions to keep a convo going. I ask him questions and then get bored of not having any back. I’m so confused by him. What do you think?
Hanna_85Oops sorry just going to add that while he was on holiday I’d actually had an operation and couldn’t make it to the gym. I told him and in fairness, he has actually asked during our convos how I am feeling and if I’m being looked after but that’s the extent of his questions back to me.
Raven‘I need to ask you over’ = I don’t want to take you out.
ps: Please bring a pizza with you…
mamaIt seems like casual flirting with not much else as a goal. I wouldn’t expect much from him to be honest. He’s putting low effort into any communication. If you say he’s “out of your league” he probably doesn’t have to work too hard to get women to follow him around and bid for his attention. Just be friendly and light and consider him a casual crush and leave it at that.
MaddieHe’d hook up with you, but I agree with the above. Flirting by asking you to come over instead of asking you on a proper date, plus sending thirst photos to you, doesn’t bode well for anything meaningful. But if you’re sincerely interested in something casual, you can certainly make that happen. Nothing to do with him being out of your league, btw. Everything to do with he probably has an easy time attracting women so he has no need to settle into a relationship until he is really at that life stage (if ever). But don’t sell yourself short, because good looks aren’t everything.
tammyi agree with Mama. this is just casual flirtation going nowhere. dont think too much about this unless he makes plans to meet up. and not for a home date!!
hanna_85Thank you for your replies!
You’ve confirmed what I’d been thinking – he’s somewhat interested but only casually. i know that he came out of a LTR last year, and that he lived with his partner as he moved into his own place in Dec so perhaps he’s not ready to move on.
What I find annoying is that he didn’t have to text me when I gave him my number. He could have just waited and sent a “Are you free this week to work out together” and kept it formal – then I would have understood but by texting me casually and striking up a convo he’s confused things and now I feel stupid.
He actually does seem like a decent enough guy – sweet and interested when we’ve spoken IRL – but I will only be matching his effort going forward.
I have a feeling he will text on Mon asking if I’ll be at the gym this week. I’m just going to reply with a ‘I’m gonna see how I feel’ and leave it at that.
MaddieIf he was serious enough with his ex to live with her and only moved out 3 months ago, he’s veeeeeeery likely not ready for something new any time soon! It takes a while to heal, and for some people jumping in faster ends up making the other person a rebound. I agree with matching him and not having expectations. Give him time to get over whatever he needs to get over, and let him make a real move if he ever does and you’re even still in touch at that point.
hanna_85Thanks Maddie! I think they split a year ago, she moved out then from what he’s said but they share dogs so are still speaking. Maybe he isn’t over her, in that case, I’m not interested in being anyone’s second.
KamdyI am sorry but from what you mentioned he is clearly not interested at all. You have been doing all the work. You gave him your number. You keep the conversatiom going when he text you.
I applaud you for going up to him and introducing yourself. He knows that you like him. After that you should have let him ask you for your number, initiate texts and ask you out. That way there is no confusion if he likes you or not.
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