casual hook up led to committed relationship

Hey,

I’m in a relationship right now for 2 years with a guy I met at college (20 y.o. both). At first we had a casual / hookup phase. He told me that he didn’t want a relationship from the beginning of our first kiss. I never even had a date with him, it was just casual.

He had slept with his ex gf after we had our first kiss and I think he was not over her, absolutely hurt after 4 years being faithful to her, but she was cold and cheated on him, then broke up with him. So he told me, he’d totally not be up for a relationship. He was hurt. And he wanted to play the field (which I didn’t know at that time, he only told me: No relationship here, I’ll never love a woman again.)

During this time I also kissed a guy at a party, and went on a date with another guy, but the difference was: I told this other guy I’m not available, as I wanted to see where things were going with the first guy first. I also said sorry to the casual guy for kissing another one.

After 5 months of knowing him I fell in love with him, and now I was afraid of getting hurt. He was still keeping it casual. We still slept over at each other’s from time to time. He still told me: I can’t give you a relationship. And I was not able to tell him, I actually wanted one. So I went on a holiday for 2 weeks to think things over.

During this time he had a one night stand with another woman after a party. He told me that it was horrible, it made him feel lonesome, the no-strings-attached sex with that woman thing was stupid. He thought one night stands were the ultimate dream. He acutally wanted to have fun with her, thought that was his dream, but it wasn’t.

Afterwards he was still scared of a relationship. He thought I like her (me) but I don’t want to like her THAT much. His feelings grew and one day he was like, You are the woman of my dreams. The one I was searching for, all the time. Would you still, maybe, be down for a relationship? He had strong feelings for me then.

I was confused, took a break but then our relationship started. Why am I here now?

I know that he wanted to play the field and that he wanted to sleep with women (plural!:D). I know he was super honest and I appreciate that so much. Still that story left me a little hurt. I don’t feel that special for him, cause he prioritized adventures with other women at first, over his experience with only me.

Is it time to put that feelings aside? His explanation was that he didn’t see the thing between us before the one night stand. Is it normal to feel a little hurt though?

Thanks a lot for your time reading,

Lara