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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Caught between feelings for boyfriend and roommate
Liz Lemon.
Ana
I have lived with my boyfriend for 5 years in a house that we share. Last summer we decided to get a roommate to help pay our mortgage. We didn’t know this guy prior but we both because fast friends with him. A couple of months ago I realized I was catching feelings for the roommate. We started hanging out a lot at night watching movies, making food (my boyfriend works at 5am) so he goes to bed early. From there we will play flight (probably blurring the lines) and go for drives at night where we listen to music. Nothing physical has ever happened between us. I don’t know if he feels the same as me. Last night I found out he came home but I was gone so he left again and my boyfriend said he went to go hook up with someone else. I felt gutted. I know I sound crazy, I’m upset over the person I’m not even with having sex with someone else. But I feel we have this strong connection.
Today a part of me wants to break up with my boyfriend and move out and also forget about the roommate. The other part wants to distance my self completely with the room mate and hope my feelings go away.
Some one talk me through this please.
Raven
This is an emotional affair…
This guy is filling what you are not getting from your Boyfriend… The drives, the conversations, the fun, the connection.
What are your ages?
Ana
Is it a one sided emotional affair ?
29 and 32
Raven
Personally, I think most emotional affairs are one-sided…
Raven
I also think, you may be bored in your relationship. You’ve been together for 5 years…
Do you & your Beau do anything thing fun together?
Ewa
yes it is called emotional cheating…
Liz Lemon
Yeah, it’s an emotional affair. It’s a sign that something is missing from your relationship. You should focus on repairing what’s missing with your boyfriend. Do you and your boyfriend have date nights? Do you take vacations? Do you do anything fun? Do you enjoy his company/conversation? Those are all things to work on.
“Today a part of me wants to break up with my boyfriend and move out and also forget about the roommate.” Do you really truly want to end your relationship? You need to consider that too. The roommate is just a distraction. If you feel your relationship needs to end and can’t be repaired, that’s something you have to work out without letting this other guy distract you.
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