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Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › conditioned? – advice on dating someone with kids
Tallspicy.
mocra
Hi!
I just wanted to update here…
I never brought up the thing of talking more when he is with his kids, because what I have noticed is that he is a very very present person.
When we are together, which is usually twice a week, he is 100% with me. No phone, no doing his thing. I thought it was only fair his kids deserve the same.
I enjoy a lot spending time with him and we never talked about it but he referred to himself as my boyfriend. I guess being single only one year has his negatives (i have 90% chance of being a rebound.. ) but his positives (he has not being spoiled by the women and men buffet that I consider online dating). So I am going to keep enjoying the present and ignore the potential negative future. For as long as it feels right. :)
Tallspicy
Honey, this statement by you is the definition of “ I am sorry to disagree. Right now, I don’t know how he feels about me and I doubt if he will or not get to love me. Once feelings are out and I am with someone, I don’t worry about this stuff.
To understand the difference, my fear is to understand if I should build up something with that person or not. Once I am given the OK, I am able to build up something strong within and I never worry about negative outcomes.”
Secure means you never have a fear of building or not building anything because you are secure in yourself, you are ok without him, and the outcome won’t change how you feel internally. You are secure in all of you, your choices and outcomes as your consideration of you never falters.
Tallspicy
Real secure: You don’t need to know anything about how he feels or does not feel because the other persons opinion of you has nothing to do with how you feel about you. You feel safe and secure always
Tallspicy
You do you honey, and if his presence is sufficient, then great!
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