Confused

Hi, let me start this from the beginning. This past Christmas when I went back home to visit my family and friends I met a man through one of them. We really hit it off and we went out on 4 dates within 1 week. We did not actually sleep together but we kissed, a lot. I came back to the country where I live and we have been texting every day. He is actually really romantic and in the beginning he was sending me poems every day. We have told each other that we like each other and I have also said that I do not want to date anyone else to which he responded that he felt the same. One week ago I went back home again for a trip I had planned before we met and we said to meet again, even though he was out of the city at the time he arranged to come back saying that he wanted to see me. I obviously appreciated this a lot and this time we did sleep together. He also stood me up for over an hour, wfor good reason, but I would have appreciated a bit more of a heads up and an apology that does not include him excusing himself.

At this point I have to mention that I have never done long distance before and I have no clue what I am doing. Another thing about me is that I do not appreciate it if I am responding within a good time frame and people do not respond back accordingly…Now I have been sensing that he takes longer than me to respond some times, even though he has been active, giving me a message that I do not really like. Call me selfish but I like the man I am seeing to want to speak to me as much as I want to speak to them. He is a very busy man which I completely respect but that means that when we are not physically in the same country communication is impacted a lot. We have only spoken on the phone whenever he has wanted to do it and whenever I asked him because I wanted to do it he postponed it to the point where we never actually talked until he felt like it again. It started feeling like we were only doing things in his own terms.

This brings us to 2 days ago. He asked me to speak on the phone but not too late because he would be tired, at this point, being slightly upset I told him that it depends on him when we will speak because I want to speak to him and I create the time to do it if he asks me. He did not appreciate that and said that he does not like that this is the case, I found this a bit confusing but chose not to fret on it too much. I then sent him another message throughout the day to which he did not respond(there was no reason for a response, it was just a song I liked). At 11 o’clock his time he had not called me yet, at this point I thought I would try calling him because otherwise it would indeed be too late. As you can imagine he did not pick up the phone. The next day he tested me good morning saying he was sorry and that his day had been busy and difficult and that he would like to speak to me on this day. I was happy to speak to him but my trust had been shaken, I felt ignored by him and I expressed that, he told me I was making assumptions and he then explained to me the reason why he did not contact me. His reason was very valid but as I told him I had no way of knowing that reason and as a human being I have emotions and I was hoping he would show me the same understanding behaviour that I was asking of him.

Things seemed very cold after that, this was yesterday. He said that he does not like it that I say some thing depend on him about whether or not we will talk, he says he feels pressure and feels a block, when I asked him what he meant he said to wait until we speak in the weekend and think about things. So…we agreed to speak during the weekend. This weekend I will be going to visit my friend so my time will be limited. I told him that I still wanted to talk but he refused to make a specific appointment saying let’s speak in between certain times becasue he does not want to stand me up. This is another thing that I find a bit frustrating becasue I think that if you want to speak to someone you make the time, you arrange to be free and make that phone call.

This is a very long story. Question is what do I do now? He seems really distant even though he says he is not upset. I have been there before and my gut is telling me he is pulling away and I don’t want him to but at the same time I need to also be true to myself and be able to speak with him if something is upsetting me. Long distance does not seem easy and it would take some compromises from the both of us and not being able to speak on the phone at a time when he is not tired makes things more difficult, it makes communication harder. At the same time I do think he is an amazing person who is really loving when I am there, I also feel like we are doing everything on his own terms and that now I am too much in my head afraid to be romantic and be as playful as I was before becasue I feel that he feels pressured…

What do I do????