Confused- need help

Cupcake is right, we need to know what the fights you’re having are about. The drinking and acting out are not good signs, in my opinion. He says you “went crazy” on the staycation, is that the case? Did you fly off the handle? If you know you fight when you drink too much, don’t get wasted. However if there is one particular issue you fight about constantly, that’s significant. Or if you don’t know how to resolve conflict without big arguments, that’s another bad sign.

He has family members with Covid and is not feeling well so he might just need some space to himself. If you’ve been dating 8 months and always spend a lot of time together, maybe he just needs a breather. But it’s hard to say without knowing details. For now I would definitely recommend backing off for now– don’t call or text him. Just let him be. If he is the great communicator you say he is, he will reach out when he’s ready. I know it sucks to be left hanging but I’d give him space for now if I were you.

Samski you are over compensating for what you believe is your fault in a situation we have no idea what happened. You got into an argument said some harsh things he got upset or offended and is now throwing a tantrum and your feeding right into it. You apologized and instead of moving on you are continuing to feed into his moping. Unless you beat him up or offended him with some really harsh words what could be so awful that would make him behave this way? You say it was a “minor” argument. I think he is withdrawing because he needs space from you and you are not giving it to him. You say you just had a convo about continuing the relationship then you go into a staycation instead of giving each other space, you are drowning in spending time together despite your recent concerns. There is nothing wrong with taking time to yourself…and having your own lives. This is what keeps the relationship on its toes not when your behaving like his mother.

I agree with lane: telling two totally different parts of one story wont help you one bit when it comes to getting clarity. Thats pointing at you creating drama on your own with half true stories. But anyway you can be confused But he told you exactly where his mind is at: i cant handle it when you go crazy. Meaning if you do this now and then for whatever reason i love you a little less every time up to the point where all love will be gone. Unless he gets of on drama (like small penis guy in another threat). Womens tongues can be sharp as knives and guys can really get so turned off especially if they are the subject, that they break it off. You keep trying to reach out doesnt help you either. He needs to chill a bit

Lane- I am definitely not CAT at all. My bf has never blocked me and we have only been together for 8 months, you must be confusing me. However I do appreciate your advice and need to spend more time working on my self and less worrying about him

I am all for having time and doing our own thing. Its always been him pushing to spend more time together, planning our weekends and asking me to come spend the nights because he misses me. I relaxed my boundaries and got so used to being with him that this situation has left me feeling a bit empty.

. A bit more details about the fights- when he gets drunk he gets mean and tell me to shut up or I am a piece of crap. The first time he did this I was ready to break it off and walk away however when we talked about it he accepted he has anger issues and wants me to help. Its happened twice more since then, usually when we are both drinking. His reasoning is that I push him to this point which is definitely not true

If youre getting help to recover from trauma’s i would focus on that. Not on keeping a mean and demeaning bf. You left out the part where he is mean too and calls you names. To me this says you are toxic to each other and probably not mature enough in how to act in an adult relationship. Why would ypu stay in this unhealty relationship when youre not even recovered from past incidents. Yes he needs help too, but not from you. In sure both of you turn out to be fine people but you need work. I would discuss this with him and break up

I really to consider the drinking issue seriously and get the help i need.

Hi All

Just a little update, we decided to part ways. Last time we spoke he told me was unsure of me due to my past (we are both divorced) and because I argued back at times. I told him I cant be with someone who is unsure of my past when he knew all about it from the beginning. I chose to walk away with dignity and go into No Contact right away. I still have his keys and my things are at his place, we also share a small investment account however I am not ready to deal with any of that for now and need my time and space to heal.
I started journaling about all the previous fights we had and realized in the last 8 months he’s called me a b****h, a piece of s**T and good for nothing 10 times. His reasoning was that I push him towards it by arguing. I have also written what I could remember the times when I was drunk and lost control and I have realized alcohol just doesn’t suit me after I cross a drink limit. I have made a pact with friends and myself to not drink AT ALL for a month. The last time i saw a therapist was in August and I wasnt honest with her about the name calling (It only happened once or twice during that time) I now realize I was probably in a toxic relationship and the breakup is a blessing in disguise. Not to say I am perfect in any way but I know where I went wrong and what I need to work on personally for the future.
Thank you for all your advice