Can I ask this guy to be exclusive with me?

We had the talk about what we’re looking for before we slept with each other. We’ve only slept with each other once. Most of our dates are dinners and drinks or if on the weekends we’ve been on walks and to the park together and got lunch. We’ve been to the museum too.

He’s been like this from the beginning. He usually texts to make plans but lately he does try and text me a bit more about what he’s up to and send me pictures but it’s still once or twice a day.

There have been instances where we’ve seen each other twice a week but it usually depends on how busy we are. We did have a bit of a gap in between because of holidays.

I’m not sure if it’s because he’s inexperienced but I’d like to tell him that I want to see him more. Do you think it’s okay to do this via text?

I’ll wait to bring it up when I see him next in person.

Yh I have seen changes in person, he’s a lot more affectionate and wants to hold hands when we’re walking around. We do spend a lot of time hugging too. Our dates tend to be quite long, we spend around 5 or 6 hours together usually. He’s been telling me more about his family and friends and brings up things I text him in person to talk about.

But yes, I’m not feeling that emotional connection. Meeting once a week is fine for me in early stages but usually that’s accompanied with contact in between.

I’m feeling a lot of frustration because of the lack of contact. I’d rather know if he’s all in or not.

At the moment, I’m not sure when I’ll see him next either. He usually texts me around Wednesday or Thursday to make plans. I have a thing I found online I want to do, shall I drop him a text and ask him if he wants to do that this weekend?

There is a reason why he never had a girlfriend and I am pretty sure you’ll find out why sooner or later.
You should not be waiting on him till Thursday to know when you see him next. If he sees you on the weekend he should be locking a date with you on Monday.
I would not be waiting because by Thursday you should be having your own plans instead of waiting on him to ask you out.
Next time he texts you on Thursday to make plans tell him I appreciate it but I was hoping you’d contact me sooner. I already made plans for this weekend…

What did you tell him you were looking for, and he contacts you everyday… I suggesting bring more clear about what you are looking for (a committed relationship) and ask him…

It just depends what you’re comfortable with. Some people are fine with little or no texting during the day. Some people like to text a lot. My partner and I are big texters when we’re at work, for example. He likes texting just as much as I do, and texted me a lot in the early stages of dating. Not all guys are like that.

It’s OK to want more from this guy at this stage. I don’t think it makes you anxious. You don’t talk on the phone, and only see him about once a week, so texting 1-2 times a day isn’t much, honestly. It would be different if he called you regularly but he doesn’t. So what he’s doing is not much considering it’s been 2 months, in my opinion. But you also can’t force him to communicate more if he’s not willing or interested in doing that.

I agree with Tallspicy that being direct with him about looking for a relationship. Part of developing a relationship is having more contact. You might have to spell it out to him.

I messaged him about the thing I want to do this weekend and he’s up for it so that’s confirmed. I think maybe I should put in more effort too, up to this point he’s usually the one to ask me out or make plans.

I want to give him a chance at least by telling him clearly what I want because he does seem like a nice and sweet guy.

I will keep you all updated

Thanks Ewa, I guess the other thought I had was that maybe he doesn’t like me enough?

Quite a few of our dates have been dinner and drinks. He usually finds places he’s heard are good for food or bars/pubs that are popular and have good reviews, and we then get drinks.

We’ve been to a museum before for an exhibition. I’m quite into cycling so he planned a cycling date through a park. I once suggested a restaurant and park so we also did that for lunch. I’ve been to his place too twice so far.

I got the inexperienced vibe when he tried to kiss me the first time, it was really random and caught me off-guard so it was just a peck before I left. The second time was better. On our earlier dates he also got red in the face often and would be really shy around me, I had to open up the conversation. He also used to take time to reply to each of my texts like take up to 10 minutes to respond to each message and edit them (which made me feel like he was thinking a lot about how to respond).

He seems to be more comfortable now with physical affection and talking about things when we’re together. He also started watching a show because I kept recommending it to him. He took me out so he can order a drink we had a joke about.

But you’re right, interest and contact should naturally increase and right about now is the time when it should be clear whether he wants this or not.

I’m going to clearly say where I’m at and what I’m looking for and if he’s not on the same page or place I think I’ll walk away. But I have this nagging feeling inside me that I have to be clear with him and tell him first. Maybe I shouldn’t get my hopes up.

(BTW, my question about being on the spectrum was rhetorical, you can’t diagnose him obviously– and regardless of whether he is or not, you shouldn’t feel like it’s work to date a guy, as I said!)

Don’t worry about it haha I’m not going to diagnose him unless he tells me otherwise

Plus I feel like it pushes me into the realm of making excuses for his behaviour when I should be taking everything at face value

Hello! Sorry for the delay in the update, a few things happened but I think it went well.

We met up on Saturday and pretty much spent the whole day together. He was showing me pictures on his phone and I was also showing him the same when a notification on my phone from the dating app we met on appeared. He didn’t ask me about it but I saw his body language change a little. I felt like I ruined it, but weirdly I felt like he was trying harder after this?

On Saturday he was telling me about his work schedule and that he was going to be in the city during the week. I work in the city, so he asked me out again for dinner on one of those days.

We met up closer to my workplace and he took me out for dinner. After dinner I was going to tell him that I wanted to see him more often but he kinda said it first. He’s going on a trip with his friends this weekend which he told me about on Saturday but said that he wishes he was seeing me instead. I also told him that I wanted to see him more often and can’t wait to see him again. He told me he’ll try to be back early on Sunday so we could meet but I have plans on Sunday so that won’t work.

At the end of our date he travelled back the same way as me so we could spend more time together even though it took him slightly longer to get back to his which I thought was cute.

He’s going to be away with his friends this weekend and I also have some plans but I’ll wait to see what he does/plans when he’s back.

We met on Saturday, then Wednesday but he’s away this weekend and suggested Sunday but I can’t do Sunday.

We will most likely meet next week though.

OK fine at least you met 2 times a week, so that’s a progress. How is his texting? As I remember this was an issue as well?
Let’s see what he does next week, you said you can’t do Sunday , did you offer alternative day or you are waiting on him?