Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › could BF masturbate in condoms?
- This topic has 26 replies and was last updated 6 years, 6 months ago by
Raven.
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mia
My bf and I have been together for a year. He treats me pretty well. I didn’t think he would cheat on my until recently. We don’t live together. We see each other every weekend. We hang out with our friends. And recently he meet my aunt’s family in July 4th BBQ party. i haven’t met his family yet.
We don’t use condoms, but he always keeps a few in the drawers. I know how many condoms in his drawer. Three weeks ago I found there was one less condom in the drawer. I thought it was weird, but didn’t say anything. This past weekend I found another one was missing. I don’t understand…. it never happened before June….
Is he cheating on me? or he likes to masturbate with condoms? Please help…
Tom
Mia-
Simple question – if he mastrbated using a condom wouldn’t he had already used some of them prior to recently? It’s not likely that it just started happening IMO. Sorry sorry
mia
so my bf is cheated on me….
Tom
I don’t know that he has. Have you asked him what’s the deal?
I have a female friend who found a used condom under his bed so she asked her BF about it. He said it must have been there from a former relationship prior to her. She asked me what I thought. I told her what I thought didn’t really matter. What mattered was whether she believed him or could live with it. She decided to believe him and that she could live with it. At the end of the day, end of story.
Good news, he’s not your hubby. Are you exclusive? Does he know that or think that? Does he want you all to himself?
If it bothers you, ask him about it. See what he says. Be prepared for him to ask you why you are bothering to count his condoms and keep track of how many there are. (As just a BF that right there would give me pause and time to ponder what I was getting myself into).
So be prepared.
mia
Hi Tom,
we are exclusive. We made this clear at the beginning of the relationship. and we both wanted it. Before exclusive, we saw/dated each other for 4 months. Then felt it was time to be exclusive.
I know he probably would ask me why I invaded his privacy. So I can’t confront him.
Is there a way to him and get the answer?
Ollie
masturbating…no
Could his friend have used instead of your boyfriend? yes, a slight possibility.
Ask him when you are face to face. . If he turns this around on you and makes this your fault for “snooping”….Run!Ollie
Just ask! Say “hey I noticed a couple of condoms are missing from the drawer, is there something I should know?”
Tom
That’s good to hear Mia.
Certainly not taking his side but could he have given a condom or 2 to a friend since he doesn’t use them? (I could have seen myself doing that with a friend in need since my GF and I weren’t using them).
Jules
I’d be inclined to say you don’t trust him and haven’t even before this condoms business.
I could see noticing that he had condoms but I think the fact that you felt the need to count them in the first place and have since kept track says something.
Ask yourself why you looked and counted in the first place.
There could be other reasons those condoms are gone, or he could be cheating. Relationships are built on trust. Do you trust him?
mia
Hi Tom,
The friends i know are all married, and don’t live nearby his place. Maybe he has other friends I haven’t met. But his social network is not that big as I know. The only single friend was out of town.
He never talks to his neighbors. so there is no chance they would borrow condoms from him.
I can test him. Say,” it is so weird my roommate borrow condom from me last night. Have anyone asked condoms from you.”
If he said no… then the answer is clear.
mia
Hi Jules,
Before we became exclusive, he saw/dated anther girl while he was dating me. After we are in a serious relationship, that girl called/texted him many many times on valentine’s night. he explained that was the past. And he stopped seeing her long time ago. I gave him a pass. But it also destroyed the trust we built.
I was being very clear to him at that time. I told him i couldn’t trust him any more. But he swore he would do whatever took to gain my trust back.
That was why i counted his condoms. If he is lying, at least i can find evidence myself.
Tom
Mia-
Sounds like you need to ask him about it somehow. For better or worse. GL
Maria
Mia, do not do this “test” you are thinking about. It is very transparent!!
I think you need to tell him that you did count condoms and that now two are missing. And ask why. This is a serious issue. You only counted condoms, they are there, physical objects, it is not a big deal and not a big invasion of privacy. One can do it just by inertia if they were not in a box. But even if they were in a box, still counting condoms is not a big crime. So if he does turn it around and makes a huge deal out of you “invading his privacy”, I think this will be your answer. And I think you’d need to leave him.
I have not heard of any guy masturbating in a condom.
mi a
Thank you, Maria.
I am going to see him tomorrow night. I just texted him i would go to his apartment tomorrow night. And he said he was fine with that.
See how it goes… I will have an open conversation with him.
Tom
GL Mia
facebook
Dear Tom,
Why dont you men on these websites sleep with some of the women here? 99% of the women are desperate for a relationship and a shame on womenhood. Vindictive, revengeful, waiting and dying to have sex, absolutely no understanding of human beings, love addicts and sex addicts and relationship addicts and totally crazy… thats the women on this site.
Raven
Do men masterbate into condoms? No…
Why… Watching themselves cum is part of the glory.If you are going to snoop, you must be willing to ‘confront’ – for lack of a better term…
Viktoria
Hi Mia,
Don’t try to figure out a way to ask him. Just ask him. If he asks why you were going through his things, he honest the way you have been here. Say you still have some insecurities left over from the woman he was seeing while the two of you were together, who texted him. He knows you have some trust issues related to that. You could say you know you should not have looked but you are still trying to work through that trust issue. I would avoid asking if it was for someone else, or for masturbation, etc. Just ask in a neutral way what happened to them and let him answer. Make sure its a face to face discussion. You will then need to decide if you believe that he says and can move on. Complete transparency, communication, and honesty is what is needed here. On both sides. If you model honesty, maturity, vulnerability, and clear communication to him, he will likely follow your lead.
If you feel confident that he did not do anything…. It would then be a good idea to address the underlying trust issues if your relationship is going to go on. Is it the texts from the other woman that bothered you? Did he reciprocate the texts? Or was it the fact that he was seeing her at the same time as you beforehand? You were not committed at the time. However, you might have been emotionally invested, yet you saw that he was not since he was seeing her. That might have hurt you, understandably so. Guys are more concrete though. He might have really cared about you, even though he was seeing someone else. To him, he was not breaking the rules cause you were not exclusive. It might be a good idea for you to look deep inside and explore why you feel betrayed by the text at Valentine’s Day. What exactly did he do wrong? Why did you loose trust? If all this comes down to that. Then communicate all of that with him and build and more open relationship.
Good luck!
Viktoria
lol I don’t mean “open relationship” I just mean an honest one! :)
Rose
No, men do not masturbate into condoms.
Last time I heard of missing condoms was because the guy was using them with someone. Or maybe he was bored and inflated them like balloons.
Farrah
I think you should confront him and watch his reaction, your gut feeling is usually right.
shadymeers
No one else seems to have heard of this but I read at http://www.pleasuretop.com that it is normal for some to masturbate with condoms on. Most people don’t do it but there are some do this due to various advantages:
You can masturbate for longer because of the decrease in sensitivity. Another thing, Its easier to clean up – I dont know why some people use socks or bananas or a box or just decide to cream their pants but going into a condom you can tie off and throw away is a far better option than any of those in my book.Janet
I didn’t read all the answers, just a few – so sorry if lm doubling up.
Just ask him. You don’t need to ‘count’ condoms if there’s 3! You can see 3! If 20,then yes seeing 16 is counting !
Ask him. Be kind and normal. Say, hey you had 3 condoms ow you have 1? What did you do with them? Smile be normal – if he used them on another girl you’ll know and you can end it with him. But be straight. You are exclusive and have a right to know. Imo no man w*nks with a condom, so he’s blown them up over his head or cheated!? If you have access to his place/stuff and areas are not off limits – its odd he hasn’t hid this – but even if you have ‘snooped’ tell him – (if you genuinely feel this way) l can never be with a man who has cheated.
You’ll know when you ask him face to face. Ask him – “what’s going on?”Shannon
Maybe they expired so he threw them out?
He probably is cheating on you, but I’m playing Devil’s Advocate here.
Raven
This is a Mass old post… but here goes…
You two don’t use condoms – so why are they there at all?
Just say, why are these here? We don’t use them & then throw them away…Watch his reaction… see if they reappear…
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