Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Could my anxiety affect my relationship?
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sgrl2494.
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Anonymous
Hi, I’m 22 and I recently got into a relationship and I feel like my anxiety could affect it. My BF is sweet, he’s not one for expressing feelings and likes to deal with things alone in his ‘man cave’. In contrast, I’m more of an anxious person (partly due to from a high achieving family) and often get so stressed out about work that I accidentally cried in front of him twice while talking about my day. He usually awkwardly comforts me and tells me that it upsets him too to see me cry.
He’s been nothing but understanding and teaches me how to relax more. I honestly feel like I’m the luckiest girl sometimes. But do you think he would slowly start to resent me because of my anxiety? Any advise on how to deal with bringing anxiety into relationships? We had a really mature and serious conversation about this and he said it wouldn’t and he’s okay with it. But is he truly? Anybody with similar situations?
Honestly appreciate any advice! Thanks :)’
Raven
What are you doing generally to manage your anxiety?
Newbie
I think its more important for yourself to deal wit the pressure and anxiety than for the relationship. youre this young and already feel so overwhelmed, overstressed to be perfect and fit the picture your family has, it doesnt sound healty to me for you and i feel sorry for you. Your twenties is to discover yourself and your dreams. For some it also evolves getting some space between you and your family. Take care
Lane
You need to find better tools and skills of dealing with it or it could eventually start turning him off. Right now its new, so a guy will give you more slack in the beginning if he’s super keen on you but eventually it will start feeling like nails going down a chalk board, it will start causing him too much stress and anxiety as well, and eventually start pulling away from it.
Now is the time to deal with and tackle it while your young! I’m sure there are a lot of self-help books online that could be a good starting point, and if not helpful, then seek a professional who is trained in the area you suffer the most in. Personal problem solving skills is a necessary tool to develop in life, as you’re going to be thrown a lot of curveballs and lemons, so its a great time for you to start finding better ways and methods (gloves) to catch and deal with them before they turn you into a big anxiety puddle. Knowledge is power!
Anonymous
Sorry I know this website is mainly for relationships so I appreciate all your helpful advice!
I’ve found a few ways to deal with it when I feel anxious e.g. hot shower and re-watching old TV shows that are funny. But sometimes these aren’t always feasible when I’m out. I usually am able to calmly handle stressful situations but occasionally when several things pile together and something triggers it, that’s when I start panicking e g. Crying and not focusing, and need a bit more support. I also have my friends and then just being there without talking usually makes things better already. But tlwhen they aren’t there, just re reading funny texts from the group chat and usually calms me down.
In general, Ive managed to find ways to deal with it but it’s not 100%. I’ll give the self help books a good, never really thought about it. Thanks everyone! :)
mell
I am similar. I’m anxious, my BF is relaxed, and there are times when my anxiety has contributed to disagreements (which have been very understanding on both sides – we’re not a blazing rows type of relatiionship) For me work is the main factor that makes it worse – I work in healthcare and over the course of my relationship my work stress increased. And that made me feel more anxious about everything including the relationship (as in, things I never felt anxious about before).
No I don’t think it’ll make him leave you, but can introduce problems that otherwise weren’t there. For many people, they can start off insecure or jealous behaviour.
Get counselling. I’m doing CBT and it really, really helps. there are plenty of good self-help books for me too. Apps like Headspace, too.
You need ways to address the anxious thoughts, not just hide them away.
Distraction and hobbies are very good, too. Good luck!sgrl2494
I have anxiety (plus a host of other mental health issues) and it hasnt stopped me from having long-term relationships. From my experience, open and honest communication is key. If you’re feeling anxious – tell him how youre feeling, whether or not you need alone time to deal with those feelings or whether or not you want him to help you mitigate those feelings.
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