crush on non-single coworker, can't read his signals.

Hello there,

So – I keep making my mind up about this situation at work, then something happens that makes me start turning it around in my head again, leading to sleepless nights.

I’ve been working at this place, my side job, for about 6 months. We’re a medium sized group of girls and guys, so the odd flirtation happens now and again. However, the guy in question had a girlfriend, I knew this from day 1 as he made a comment about her having the same educational background as me. Since then he’s never mentioned her in my presence again.

After a month or two I started noticing increased eye contact, which was soon followed up by flirting (from both sides) but it was pretty harmless: he’d tap me on the shoulder and would give me high-fives, seemed to be more helpful towards me than to others, and would try and get my attention – that kind of thing. However, after a little while he also let slip a comment like ‘hey sexy’ (which I think he kind of said without thinking), but I still don’t know whether that was just to provoke me or whether he really meant to get the message across that he likes me..

Sorry for the long haul by the way –

I went away for another job for around 2 months, and thought that the chemistry would’ve ended by the time of my return to the side job. After I came back, he said in front of other colleagues that I’d been sorely missed, that he’d been really afraid that I wasn’t going to come back. I didn’t think much of it, it was a nice welcome back but I felt like the tension had faded. But after a month – AGAIN – he’d always find ways to touch me, would look me in the eye for just a little too long, prod me, shoulder-tap me, seemed to remember details about me others wouldn’t, would do me little favours, talked about his brother but NEVER his girlfriend.

Things got more heated (on my side anyway) after I once showed up unexpectedly at work and he looked at me like a deer caught in headlights. The period after that he wouldn’t just tap my shoulder but he’d place his hand on them and squeeze/stroke me there while all the while giving me piercing looks. Last week he mentioned anything to do with his relationship status for the first time EVER, when he said he was going to clean the garden of his mother-in-law (by manner of speaking because he isn’t married). I thought he was saying that because he might be worried he’d taken it too far with me and this was his way of fading out/creating some distance. So that week he seemed to kind of create a distance, but now he’s at it again – I’ve seriously developed a crush on him, but I just don’t know what’s going on or how I should react. Why is he doing this, is it because he’s bored at work, because he enjoys the mind fuck (he seems like a good person overall)?

To be honest, I like him very much and simply want to get to know him better even if it just leads to us being friends – but in our work environment the norm seems to be to keep private/work lives very separate.

How should I approach this, and how big are the chances that I’m reading the signals wrong in the sense that he’s into me?

How should I react if my goal is to encourage him to take this further between us?

(despite his girlfriend – my principles about relationships/marriage/break-ups are a whole long, different story, and although it seems by the above that I’m a sly homewrecker I can safely say that I’m not a hypocrite and my principles are well
premised)

THANKS for the read if you’ve managed to finish it all!!!