Home › Forums › Complicated Situation / Mixed Signals › Current world issue playing mental gymnastics on us
- This topic has 5 replies and was last updated 3 years, 11 months ago by Joy.
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Joy
I met this guy at the end of 2019 on a dating app. He was visiting my country because he has relatives there. It was really great. We got along so well and laughed so hard together throughout the evening. As he was returning to the UK, i did not think this will really lead anywhere. However, he kept in touch either through calls or messages everyday. We would talk about deep issues and also silly topics. It was so easy to talk to him. He said he wanted to see me again in person and planned to visit in April. However flights were cancelled and borders closed and so he couldn’t come. In July, the borders got opened for people who met certain requirements and he drove 2 days to come see me. It was very effortless and comfortable again and attraction still clearly there. He stayed with his folks for 3 weeks and came to see me almost every other day. We would just hang out and once we made out (no sex). He said he wanted to respect my boundaries. He returned back to the UK and decided that he was going to move to my country and take up a job here. Unfortunately, the offer got cancelled because of the pandemic. We made plans to travel together during Christmas but UK got the second variant and all flights were cancelled. Then, he planned to come again in February but it seems like the lockdown might continue. Now, he is beginning to wonder if all this is some sort of sign that we should give up and it is stressing us both out. BTW, we haven’t made the relationship official because we both said we didn’t want to do long distance and he offered to move cos it was easier for him to get a job here. We have both said we like each other. Once, he was slightly tipsy and blurted out that he loves me. I am wondering what to do in this situation because for the first time in my life, i have met someone i feel truly connected with who respects me, shares my values and isn’t interested in playing games. We are both 37 with no family obligations. How do we deal with the mental stress the pandemic is imposing on us?
NewbieThis is really difficult as you do have had very bad luck. Normally i would not take 2 periods of seeing each other in one year and a half serious, but you two do seem serious in giving it a try and are also realistic about what the status is now. I do believe the pandemic will be in the past for the most 6 months or so from now. So that shouldnt keep you. But the fact you bonded so little face to face is still problematic to me if he lost the idea of going to work closer to you.
I think this is best talked about with him. I can imagine you still have to meet again for a few weeks to see if its worth ot and decide from there.JoyThe plan was for him to come in February and for us to meet as we both think that meeting face to face is the best way to build and see where we stand. Now, that he won’t be able to fly again in February is really putting a damper on things. It’s all so frustrating to me. I have no idea what to do anymore as our meeting plans keep getting dashed and he just keeps accumulating travel vouchers.
NewbieI know plans got cancelled for february. Im saying there will be and end to this pandemic. And that end is in sight. If both of you feel its not worth it, then by all means end it. But i suggested to talk it out at a new trip planned after this.
LaneI agree with Newbie, in that, hopefully the vaccinations will put a big damper on the pandemic and life will return to some form of normalcy soon.
I am the queen of LDR and trust me when I say, I know its hard especially when there’s a long stretch of time but when finally together it is so worth it. How far away are your countries? Is there any way you can drive or take a boat/train 1/2 way and meet up?
JoyThank you so much Newbie and Lane.
We are about 2800 KM apart. This includes the ferry ride needed which is currently blocked for travellers. Typically, you get shipped in your car from the UK port to the Netherlands port.
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