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Viewing 6 posts - 1 through 6 (of 6 total)
Home › Forums › Dating and Sex Advice › Date bringing up ex’s
T from NY.
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Has anyone been on a date or two with someone and they keep bringing up their last relationship in a negative way constantly through the date? I seem to have a run on people that are either treating me like a therapist or friend that they want to fill me in on what their ex did or is doing. It’s a big turn off.
How do you handle it? I assume that maybe they are still not ready to date? Do you agree? Run?
Raven
These guys aren’t ready to date.
Alice
Any guy who bashes his ex right away (especially on first/second dates) is looking for a rebound. If I were you, I’d be worried he’s using me as a sound board and rebound girl.
If he asks to go out again, just tell him you think he’s got some unresolved things with his ex and if he gets mad just say “I don’t want to get into it to be honest, I wish you the best”.
He needs to be told that his behavior is unattractive and he needs to work it out, which is basically what you’d be doing.
You do NOT want to be a rebound or with a guy who blames his ex for everything when you don’t even know him yet!
Liz Lemon
I can’t say this has happened to me personally, but it’s a very bad sign when someone goes on and on about an ex or a previous relationship on the 1st or 2nd date. Remember, the first few dates is when people are supposed to be on their absolute best behavior. They should be focused on trying to impress you, not venting about their ex. So no, people like this are not ready to date. If it’s only been 1-2 dates it’s easy to tell them it was nice meeting them, but you don’t feel a connection, and wish them well.
Liz Lemon
Alice and I cross-posted. I totally agree with her about the rebound and sound board thing. But I personally don’t think I’d confront a guy I had 1 date with about his unresolved issues with his ex. I just wouldn’t get into it with someone who’s basically a stranger, and risk him getting offended/mad and getting into a back and forth. His problem, not mine, he’ll figure it out eventually. That’s just my opinion, though.
T from NY
Throw those back to the sea full stop
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